Tag: POSITIVITY

THE LANTERN FEST

“Letting Go,” my prior blog, was written before attending the Lantern Fest,  I waited to publish it because the releasing of lanterns symbolically fit the topic of letting go and I was hoping I would get some great shots to add to that post.  But there was so much more to the Lantern Fest we attended, beyond the symbolism, so I wanted to write about it.

LEADING UP TO THE EVENT

I found out about the Lantern Fest on Facebook, which, in my opinion, is Facebook’s strength right now:  finding events of interest.  I’ve seen so many photos of Lantern releases in other countries and the events always appeared so magical, so I knew when I saw the event on Facebook, I wanted to experience it.  I also found out that it is an event that runs nationally and was founded in November 2013.  There are several other USA locations forthcoming.

img_60091

EVENTS WITH TEENS

I’m going to bet that many people with teens know that, at this point in life, spending time with mom or dad isn’t high on their priority list.  In fact, I think, as parents, we rank near the bottom of the list of whom they want to hang with on the weekend!  I am faced with this reality; despite all the travel and events we did when they were young and they couldn’t wait to go somewhere with me. But that is a part of them becoming independent, which is important.  So, most of the time, they spend their time based on their plans. This time, I wanted to experience this with them because we don’t often have that opportunity very often: with just us, so I signed us up.  Heading to the event I didn’t have two very excited people with me.  One kept asking how soon we could leave once we got there and the other was just silent and both were exhausted from the soccer games they played all day.

ARRIVAL

I love Google Maps especially because it reroutes us based on traffic jams, so we ended up taking some back-roads and missed most of the traffic arriving quickly.  We arrived just after sunset due to the soccer game schedules and getting ready after them, but if I ever go again, I would be there before sunset.   Immediately upon arriving we could see lights all over a field ; it was a huge festival.  We headed through the Brookdale Farms gates, opposite the activity for parking and took a long windy gravel road back to the corn fields where we parked.  It was dark out now so we found our way back to the event from headlights shining on the gravel, highlighting a few mud puddles, but of course one of us found a puddle on the way.

img_62791

 

THE EVENT

I wasn’t sure when the release was going to happen, so I wanted to find the lantern packages as soon as possible.  I knew the event started at 2pm and there were little ones running around, so people with them would be getting anxious to release the lanterns soon.

img_62831

We initially saw all sorts of food trucks and tents lit up, then asked someone in one of the tents where we would find the lanterns.  They directed us to the back of the event and told us to look for a white tent.  We walked for quite a while, and kept going, following the crowd.  As we passed in smoke filled air, we saw fire pits with groups surrounding them, tiki torches, and groups enjoying s’mores- awesome!  We made it to the tent where we were given our lanterns and boxes with the instructions and s’mores sticks.  We stepped to the side and noticed we were at the edge of a lake which was so beautiful reflecting the lights.  We could hear music in the distance, then heard the announcement that the launching would soon occur.  We didn’t have much time to figure it out, so we waited to launch ours, preferring to watch and video this massive launch.  It was beautiful, incredible sight!

 

I attempted to get some good photos, but it was so dark I couldn’t see my camera settings and fumbled around with the camera, taking whatever I could get and hoping to capture some of it.  Most ended up blurred.

LAUNCH TIME

Learning how to light the lantern, waiting until the gas filled the balloon then releasing into the dark sky…

BON FIRE

Our arrival timing worked out because many people left after the launch, so some of the fire pits were now freed up.  We found one near the lake and decided to try out our newly purchased GABOSS inflatable loungers.  These were perfect for the night.  We had an energetic one with us who loved filling these bags with air.

As soon as we had them set up people kept stopping by asking us about them and where we got them.  Click the GABOSS link if you want to order one!  They are sold with a shoulder bag and are much easier than carrying a folding camp chair.  They can be used individually or as a lounger with two or three people and will support over 400 pounds.

GABOSS inflated!
S’mores
Patience? S’mores

We made s’mores, then relaxed in the loungers, waiting for the second launch.  By this time, my phone died, but I still had my camera and could get a few more shots of the night.  The music added to the atmosphere, the night was a little chilly but when the fire was going it was an exceptional outdoor night.  Being near the lake was perfect too, as the first wave of people were leaving, the white and red car lights looked like Christmas lighting.  We decided to lounge outside until the traffic died down.

 

LEAVING THE EVENT

By this time, everyone was starving.  Because of the soccer schedules, there was very little time between games, so none of us ate much since breakfast, besides a few snacks. The craving was Italian pasta, needing those carbs!  My daughter searched on Google maps and found Joe Baccardi’s which was still open, thankfully!  It was about 9:30 pm, so we headed there and everyone ordered.  We barely made it through the meal, with my son was falling asleep at the table, so we headed out just before closing time. I think all but me fell asleep in the car on the way home.  I know for me; this was just what I wanted:  spending time with them and both of my teens seemed to enjoy it too!  We talked about attending one again.

img_6317

OPPORTUNITY FOR SCIENTIFIC CREATIVE PEOPLE

As with anything, there are multiple viewpoints.  After I posted pictures and videos on Facebook the next day, I had a friend send me some pictures of the after math.  This was bad, it looked like trash everywhere, on trees, homes etc.  The event was so much fun, but this was not good. Hopefully with technology and creative people, there can be a solution for some biodegradable, quick dissipating material that could possibly be used in the future for lanterns to avoid the landfall?  I’m hoping that someone reading this knows someone or is creative and comes up with a solution, maybe a future Patent?  If you read this and know of someone who might be able to do this, please share this post!

Lanterns in a backyard
Lanterns in the trees
Lanterns on roofs
by Categories: Entertainment, FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP, HAPPINESS, Lantern Fest, Make It Count, MUSIC, RELATIONSHIPSTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

LETTING GO – 7 STEPS

We all have times in our lives when it becomes necessary to “let something go.”  That something is causing a “pain” in our life; it could be a habit, a relationship, a job, or something else that’s not coming to mind right now.  Sometimes it’s easy, but when it’s not easy, I’ve found these seven steps successful:

  1. PERSONAL EVALUATION OF THE SITUATION

This is probably the MOST important initial step (personal evaluation) because if we don’t do this and identify our personal reason, we won’t be able to follow through.  Everyone is different, so we shouldn’t base our decisions entirely on someone else’s opinion. Opinions are helpful, but sometimes the person offering the opinion doesn’t have all the background or factors leading up to this dilemma, so they can’t give us the best advice for us, as an individual.  It is most important to evaluate the situation from our own perspective, asking ourselves questions such as these examples:

RE: Habit

Does this reflect the person I want to be?  Does this reflect my values? Does it reflect my beliefs?  Am I hurting myself? Am I hurting others?

RE: Relationship

Of ALL the experiences, which do I experience more of with this relationship: good experiences or bad ones? Does the relationship and person reflect my personal values?  Do other people (friends, family) see me happier or sadder in this relationship?  Does this relationship build me up or tear me down? Does the relationship contribute to my improvement or hold me back?

RE: Job

Am I doing something meaningful with my time?  Is the work environment a positive environment?  If not, can I change the environment by changing how I interact with it?  Does the effort I make in my job match up with the income I receive from it?  Have I given it enough time to be successful? Is it a healthy balance (am I getting enough sleep, exercise, relaxation time) for me?

We need alone time for this, away from everyone else to reflect and think it through based on our personal experiences and what we want in our lives.  There may be many more relevant questions to ask, these are only a few examples, but once we reflect and answer these personal questions, they should help us arrive at a decision and more importantly the REASON why we want or need the change!  We need to remember our personal reason because this is the motivation for letting go.  If we don’t have a reason, it will never happen!

dsc_0227

  1. FORGIVE AND FORGET

If we truly want to “let go,” we must forgive and forget.  Forgive, to me, means when a person apologizes for something, accept that based on their words followed by their actions.  Words are meaningless without action.  In addition to forgiving others, we also need to learn to forgive ourselves, we are not perfect, we all make mistakes, but recognizing the mistake and doing something about it is a positive action and deserves forgiveness.  If the actions don’t match up with the words that were said, go to Step 3.

If the actions reflect the words, this is where we need to “forget.”  Forget, to me, doesn’t mean erase from memory, I think that is impossible, but what it does mean is “forget” and don’t bring it up again, don’t dwell on, or keep reminding the other person of what they did: “let it go!”  And reflecting on this as an individual: don’t keep going back to what we did:  the past is the past, forget it, let it go and move on to a positive future!   and go to Step 3.

dsc_0231

  1. FIND GRATITUDE

Find a way to be “thankful” for the pain we experienced.  That probably sounds strange, but I believe with most negative situations/pain, there is a positive aspect that will improve us.  Turn the pain into gain.  Pain can be one of life’s great lessons, it can lead us to a better future.  Think about practically every improvement: didn’t the improvement start with some sort of identifiable “pain” something we, or society didn’t like, so it motivated us to improve?  We learn lessons from the pain we experience, we become better, so for this we can be thankful. The pain may motivate us to be a better person or learn from the mistakes of others.  Sometimes a bad experience propels us into something so good, we could never imagine it happening while we are having the bad experience.  The pain of “letting go” allows us opportunities to explore or create, amazing possibilities in the future. When we find gratitude, we find our “win” in the situation: the positive motivating factor when we let go.

Find a way to be “thankful” for the joy we experienced before letting go.  We will be more at peace with letting go, if we also recognize that while it shouldn’t, couldn’t, or didn’t last, there were great memories that made us happy and our life was good during that time.  We experienced something that we wouldn’t have experienced on our own.  Maybe that good experience gave us something we learned, something positive we can keep in our future life?

dsc_0193

 

  1. CONTROL OVER OTHERS = NONE, ACCEPT IT AND MOVE ON

When we truly understand, and more importantly accept, that we have zero control over someone else’s actions, this helps us let go.  Each person controls his or her own actions; we don’t control others.  We may provide what we think is helpful advice, opinions or guidance, but we don’t control how they use that information and we need to let it go.  Let that person be themselves and figure it out on their own, because that is the only way it works.  If we attempt to control someone, we will drive that person away, so let it go, don’t try to control.  We are only responsible for our own actions, keep the focus there!

dsc_0230

  1. CLOSURE

This step is highly important to letting go and probably the most challenging step because sometimes people aren’t willing to do it because it is tough. I would love other readers of this article who have ideas to contribute for this subject, so please share this with others who might also have good input, and/or leave comments!  Once we get to this step, we are almost there with letting go.  I think most of us want some sort of closure before we let go.  Sure, we can abruptly let go, which may be the best way if it’s a habit we are letting go, but if letting go involves people, closure is very important, I think for both sides of the relationship.  It allows people to move on.  An honest, peaceful discussion or exchange is the best way to do this, don’t leave someone guessing or questioning things that might not be relevant. We should be as clear as possible when we have a closure conversation, think about it before we communicate it to the other person.  Communication usually has challenges anyway because people receive information and often apply it based on prior experiences, but we shouldn’t compare experiences.  Every situation is different; try to truly listen to what the other person is saying and if you don’t understand it, ask for clarification. But LISTEN to what a person says, if they are willing to give you the opportunity to tell you things, believe what they say, because closure is not always easy, so don’t make it hard on the other person. And once you have this closure conversation, let it be, let it go, it is time to move on!

There are situations where having closure is not possible, and that is probably the toughest of all.  The situation could be a dangerous one, where it wouldn’t be safe/wise to have closure, it could also be a sudden unexpected death.  These are more serious situations that are best addressed by professional counselors, therapists, etc.

dsc_0189

  1. GET BUSY – HOBBIES

The best way to let go is to focus on something you enjoy, or self-improvement (classes, fitness, education, career exploration, etc.) Focusing on these will take our minds off whatever we need to let go of and it will give us something back in return in the form of happiness or improvement. A “win, win” for us!  It allows us to get over the pain we experienced and move forward.

IMG_6303.JPG

  1. CUT OFF ALL CONTACT

If possible, cut off all contact (physical, locational, communication, visual, etc.)  Once we decide to let go due to our personal reason and have a closure discussion with the person (if possible/appropriate), there is absolutely no reason to stay in contact.  It will be better for our future to avoid any further contact, of any kind.  If we stay in contact, we are not letting go, so think about the reason we had for letting go, if the reason was important for us to decide to let go, then this should be just as important now to cut off contact.

In certain situations, this step may be impossible, so then we need to find all ways we can to limit the contact as much as possible and both parties need to respect this limiting of contact because it will ultimately benefit both parties in letting go and moving on.

I hope this is helpful and welcome other ideas or suggestions!  Be strong, stay strong and life gets better!

by Categories: FAITH, Following Passions, FRIENDSHIP, HAPPINESS, Improvement, Letting Go, Make It Count, RELATIONSHIPS, WellnessTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

GRATITUDE: 5 WAYS TO FIND IT

The Thanksgiving Holiday is coming up this month, for what are we thankful?

That feeling of being thankful, especially when faced with unexpected changes, challenges, disappointments or failures can be absent from our thinking, but we can find gratitude.  These unexpected changes, challenges, disappointments or failures are part of life and affect us, but how we deal with them is entirely our choice and within our control.  Our minds and mindsets are very powerful and will affect our lives in a good way or a bad way; the choice is ours.

So, how do we find gratitude?

ft-myers-2013-4

1-INSPIRING EXAMPLES- PEOPLE WHO OVERCOME CHALLENGES OR MENTOR US

If you want gratitude, it doesn’t take long to find amazing people who overcome challenges, sometimes greater challenges than we are facing, so by those inspirational examples, we find ways to be thankful.

Did you ever meet someone who was faced with tremendous challenges in some way, but focused on the positive, and then became amazing and inspirational? We set the limits of what we can become or do.  If our environment is negative, we need to find more positive people to be around, we can also read about positive, inspirational people, if unable to find them near us.  We are so lucky to have Internet access because this gives us a convenient way to find positive and motivating people.  Watch movies: there so many positive, inspirational stories that can help change your viewpoint to one of gratitude.  Some examples that come to mind are:

Soul Surfer

The Help

The Pursuit of Happyness

The Blindside

John O’Leary, On Fire

I believe there is greatness within every person, as well as tremendous potential.  It is a matter of our focus whether we achieve. Some will choose to let those challenges, disappointments or failures affect and control them and see everything negative and others will choose to use those challenges, disappointments or failures propelling to the next level and improving, understanding that we can be thankful for the challenges, disappointments or failures because we they make us stronger and cause us to improve when we decide to overcome them.  I’ve met some people in day to day life that once I learned their story of challenges, I couldn’t believe how they could be so positive and thankful. It is a choice.

Think about the people in our lives who have done something positive for us by:  listening, helping, inspiring, encouraging, teaching, motivating or entertaining us. We can be grateful for them!

img_8713

2- REALIZE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL OR CAN BE BEAUTIFUL – IT’S A CHOICE, NOT SOMETHING YOU WERE GIVEN AT BIRTH

Sometimes it’s the people who had the most incredible struggles who are the most beautiful people.  Inner beauty dominates outer beauty – think about that:  we were created with certain physical attributes and features, but the inner beauty is something that we create.  Sure, there is plastic surgery that can change outer beauty, but did you ever see an outwardly beautiful person and then get to know them and realize their inner beauty isn’t developed? Inner beauty is personality, respect, honesty, confidence, happiness, actively helping others, being attentive, listening, compassion for others, kindness, awareness, peacefulness, and how one uses the unique talent, gift, ability each person has that makes them a one of a kind. This inner beauty affects how beautiful people appear to us; if it’s undeveloped, it lessens the beauty we see or makes them unattractive. Knowing that; everyone has the opportunity to be thankful for being beautiful because we can make that happen,but if it hasn’t already happened: focus on inner beauty:  Inner Beauty dominates Outer Beauty.

dsc_0011

3- GET OUTDOORS

We are fortunate to have nearby parks in the US wherever we live.   So, use them, detach from technology, go for a walk, a run, a hike and take time to notice the surroundings.  So often we are in a rush, so we pass by beautiful things we have right in front of us.  We can be thankful for the natural beauty we experience: the colors we see, waterfalls, lakes, rivers, oceans, the changes in seasons, beaches, forests, mountains, deserts, and the sky and: sunrises, sunsets, clouds, stars.

IMG_0813.jpg

4- GO TRAVEL

Travel can produce gratitude.  We may find incredible places, views, people and then become thankful for those moments. Or we may see conditions we never experienced before making us grateful for what we have at home.  The travel can be near or far; either way we will get this experience; just go someplace new where you haven’t been before for the most impact.

DIGITAL CAMERA

5- VOLUNTEER

Sometimes the greatest gift we ever receive comes from helping others and seeing the impact made on others.  Volunteering opportunities are everywhere and there is usually a shortage of volunteers. Find some cause that appeals to you and get involved, you will be thankful and so will others.  Focusing on others also helps us avoid any self-pity reflection of circumstances which is counterproductive to feeling thankful.

dscn0954

REMINDERS

Once you identify what you are grateful for, write it down as a reminder to keep with you and stay focused on the positive; because we all need reminders now and then when things don’t go well!

by Categories: Improvement, Make It Count, RELATIONSHIPS, TRAVEL, WellnessTags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Make It Count!

This picture of Andy K. was taken in 2014, on this date, two years ago. I’ve told the story leading up to this picture several times now, but it is worth retelling for many reasons.

img_62201
Andy K.

HALLOWEEN PARTY

A bunch of  high school freshman friends decided they were going to go trick-r-treating at the very last minute at a Halloween party we were hosting.  So they needed something to carry, we had collected several Halloween bags over the years and stored in the basement. So everyone went down to the basement and I was handing out bags. Andy was the last one and the only one I had left was this “girly” “Hello Kitty” bag, so I just started laughing and said to him, something like, “you’re not going to want this one, are you?”  and he replied something like, “sure, why not? I’ll use it!”  and he did.  I was really impressed by his confidence, he truly didn’t mind and was going to have fun with it!  So I had to ask him if he would let me take his picture with it, and it was no problem for him!  He made an incredible impression on me at that very moment.

img_62181
Maddie, Cassie, Amanda, Lauren, Jack and Andy
img_3944
2014 Halloween Party

 

FRIENDSHIPS

The prior summer, in 2014, Andy K., Lauren D. and Jack L. spent a lot of time together at their brother’s baseball games and had become good friends.  They also went to homecoming together as a group.

 

YOUNGLIFE CAMP

The next summer, 2015, Lauren D. and some friends decided to go to YoungLife Camp; Andy K. went to a different high school, but shortly before the trip, they found out they were all going to be at Camp together and were pretty excited about it.  They had a great experience at camp with lots of stories to tell.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 

img_62221
Andy pictured in the red shorts and Santa hat at Castaway              Summer 2015

 

img_60321
Claire, Andy and Lauren- YoungLife Camp

KEEPING IN TOUCH

They continued to stay in touch and would do things together in groups.  At this point in time, not everyone was driving so I drove Lauren D. and Claire S. over to Andy’s to hang out.  Of course I got the call asking “Can we stay later?”  And I was fine with that, then I got the call, “how soon can you get over here?  Claire needs to be home ASAP!” That’s just how things go when you have a teenager.  So I picked them up and they talked about how much fun they had that night.  It just got to be later than Claire’s parents expected so she needed to get home.

A COUPLE WEEKS LATER 

I still remember getting the call from my friend Krista, I was sitting on the couch with Nick watching TV, she wanted to let me know first so that I could tell Lauren before she found out on social media, since Lauren and Andy were good friends:  Andy was in a car accident on the way to his job and he didn’t make it.  I was in shock, horrified and didn’t know how to tell Lauren; it was painful. From this day forward EVERYTHING changed on December 2, 2015.

THE AFTERMATH

The wake and funeral were the most emotional experiences I ever had. There was an unbelievable number of people attending, thousands in my estimation.  And I heard so many stories, very similar to my Halloween story of Andy’s personality, from so many people of all ages.   Andy K. was the kid who welcomed the shy kid at school, smiled at people, took time patiently with young kids, made people smile, looked out for others, stood up for the “underdog”, and was strong for others, provided emotional support to others in times of need.  And he was only in high school, but yet affected so many positively.

Andy’s Dad told the story of Andy driving his Dad to the airport for a trip and as his Dad started to go through the gates, Andy said, “Hey Dad, Make It Count!” and smiled. Sadly, this was the last time they saw one another. The “Make It Count” conversation was an ongoing conversation Andy K. and his Dad had many times over the years, but in reverse, when his Dad coaching Andy would tell him in sports to “Make It Count!”  Andy’s Dad asked that everyone remember Andy and “Making It Count” going forward.

GRATITUDE

I will forever be grateful that Andy K. was a part of Lauren’s life, he made her life better on many occasions and I will always think of Andy and his family whenever I hear or use the words “Make It Count”

So often in our lives an ordinary day, an ordinary experience, will not seem like much at the time, but does in hindsight.  The impact one person can have on so many was evident to me during this experience, it truly changed my perspective in life and is something that I will always be very passionate about: Making It Count!

img_0040

by Categories: FAITH, FRIENDSHIP, Improvement, Make It Count, RELATIONSHIPS, TRAVELTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

KEEPING TRUE FRIENDSHIPS

Friendships:  The most important “everything” in our lives!

img_4040

 

PATHS WE TAKE and PEOPLE WHO CROSS OUR PATHS

My posts are a little random, but they relate to what I’m passionate about and this one is about friendships.  I drafted a post about career paths last night and as I was writing it, I realized that every career path I took was based on a friendship with someone.  Have you had the same experience?

img_1250

BEING INDEPENDENT

I’ve always been one to push my comfort zone and do things to improve, whether it’s fitness, education, personal development,  conquering my fear of heights, career progress, speaking in front of people, overcoming shyness, going places solo not knowing anyone, and so on, there is always something to improve.  Pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone more makes us more independent, self-reliant and builds confidence after we challenge ourselves and complete whatever it is that challenged us.  You never know what you are capable of until you push yourself further!  This is so important to me – and Nike’s slogan sums it up best: “Just Do It!”

img_4059

STRANGERS BECOMING FRIENDS

It’s comfortable to be self-reliant and independent, which I believe I am, but I’m definitely not a loner!  I love having friends around.  In fact, when I’ve gone places in the past, I may go solo, but somehow I manage to find a new friend group!  When I was in college, on St. Patrick’s Day one year, I had a class that day but nearby there was this Irish Parade that was happening shortly after my class had ended.  I didn’t have any friends who could go, so I was a little nervous, but I wanted to be there, so I went by myself.  It was a little awkward to be honest, but it didn’t last long.  Nearby was a group of guys and girls my same age and one of the girls asked me if I was there by myself and I replied yes, so she welcomed me to join her group of friends.  We all got to know each other that day and became great friends over that summer: we started meeting on the weekends to roller blade the 7-mile loop around Forest Park, then head out for dinner and drinks.  We ended  ended up celebrating the 4th of July together that year too, taking a trip to Lake of the Ozarks and we had so much together.   Recently, I headed to a concert before my friends showed up and ended up meeting another group of people who welcomed me to join them.  I didn’t this time because I would be meeting up with my friends shortly, but the point is, people are drawn to create friendships, even strangers!

img_1255

LIFE TIME LASTING FRIENDSHIPS

My cousin was always the best at this, she always had a huge group of friends and stayed active with her friends from childhood through adulthood, adding to the group as she met more people.  I think one time at a Cardinal’s baseball game, her friend group practically covered an entire section!  As people develop families, it’s easy to get “too busy” to maintain those friendships, and I was guilty of that, but thankfully, I had great friendships that picked up right where we left off.  But, I believe that it’s important to maintain friendships at all times, find the time because it is important, you simply need to find a good balance.

img_4061

THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIPS

Friends are amazing; what we can do for each other:  support each other toward goals, broaden one another’s horizons in careers, encourage each other, enhance other relationships, be each other’s sounding boards for ideas, help out when needed and the best part of all is just to have fun and let loose, be that crazy self that you can only be when you are in your comfort zone!  Friendships are too valuable to ignore and as a group can come up with some amazing adventures!

img_4616

Friendships with people having different backgrounds, different age groups, and different cultures simply enhances your life experience.  There is so much we learn from each other and it all makes life more enjoyable!

img_7507

PLANNING EVENTS

Recently I was with a friend group who had talked about planning weekend trips where everyone would write down a suggestion for a weekend trip and put it in a bowl then one suggestion would be chosen and that would be the surprise trip! That sounded like a fun idea and one that families could use too!  Everyone gets input and it’s a random selection.  I haven’t tried this yet, but plan to!

img_7479

My friends and I also started a closed group on Facebook for “Events and Activities” where we can share stuff we hear about and everyone has the opportunity to go.  It works well when you are trying to coordinate with 25 or more people- just post it and see who’s interested/who can make it and no one is accidentally left off an invite!   And those who can make it, excellent, and those who can’t; there is always next time!

img_8155

by Categories: FRIENDSHIP, Improvement, RELATIONSHIPS, TRAVELTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

ACTIONS NOT WORDS

SUNDAY REFLECTIONS

I don’t attend church every Sunday, but when I do, it’s truly because I want to be there and connect with God in a different way, than personally through prayer; it is meaningful to me.  It really seems the discussions are relevant to things happening in my life when I am there too.  So in my thoughts, this is God’s message getting through to me.

THE DRIVE TO CHURCH – DECISIONS

This past Sunday, on the way to church, I was talking to my son about “why I go to church and what happens” and about how sometimes when I’m making decisions I will just “have a feeling inside” about which direction I should go, and truly, it’s not always the easy decision “I want”, but I just have a feeling inside that “I should”do it. Is this God letting me know what I should do, because it’s not always what I want to do? During the service, my son and I looked at each other, because it was really ironic, the things we talked about in the car on the way there were the things that Pastor Greg was talking about, almost as if he heard our conversation.  My son noticed it too.

kenny-desheilds
From The Crossing- Facebook Page

THE MUSIC – CONNECTING PERSONALLY

Another interesting thing happened, this church has phenomenal music by the way, so that probably explains more of why I connect so well.  Anyway, one musician told us a story of how he and a friend had a falling out after a very long friendship, and that he felt like God was telling him to apologize to his friend, which he did apologize, but didn’t get the response from his friend he was expecting.  Anyway that night at 2 am this melody came into his head and he wrote this song until about 4 am; it was a beautiful song. Here is the link:  Kenny DeShields “That’s When You Love”   Relating to this event, in my own experience, I also seem to get middle of the night ideas or early morning ideas.  Is this God providing guidance or influence?

THE MESSAGE

The bible topic this day was the two most important things we can do: “Love God and Love Your Neighbor” The Pastor went into detail on what it means to “Love your Neighbor” and the relevant scripture passage was the Good Samaritan Parable  I’ve heard this story many times before, but he made it more relevant, by asking questions:  he asked everyone to come up with reasons why the first two people didn’t help the beaten man and the answers were: “no one was looking, they didn’t want to be inconvenienced, it was someone else’s job or duty, didn’t want to get involved, etc.”   It is here where it relates to all of us, those could all be OUR reasons for not helping someone in the present day.  How many times have we thought those things in our heads when we didn’t help someone? 

1-john-3-18-1920x1080

The Pastor also made another point, if we were truly starving and we were offered a) bread or b) the recipe for bread?   Which would we want at that point in our life?  Of course, the actual bread more immediately addresses the need.  He related this concept of the bread and recipe to people offering empathy or sympathy in WORDS to others, but not taking ACTIONS.  Wow!  I bet we can all relate to that in our lives!  Have you ever had someone tell you what you “wanted” or
“needed” to hear, but not make the personal effort to truly connect with you or take action?  It really feels like empty words, doesn’t it?  Have we done that to others?

SUMMARY: Loving your neighbor may be inconvenient.

MY LIFE EXAMPLES

This also related to me, personally, with the access we have to technology today, we are always connected.  I made the mistake this weekend of multi-tasking, I was distracted by a message that I hadn’t seen.  The message came in about 4 hours earlier so I was curious what it said and clicked on it when I should have been paying attention to the conversation I was having with the person.  This person is 100% more important to me than the message, but I didn’t show it when I quit paying attention to look at the message.  I wasn’t being present in the moment and I offended the other person and felt terrible about it, but I couldn’t take it back!  I did apologize, but the damage was already done at that point.  Sometimes being there for a person may simply mean being fully present and truly listening –  without distractions.  This situation has happened to me, with roles reversed before and it made me feel like I was unimportant.  An action not words example can simply be actively, truly listening to someone, and hearing what they are saying.  And I blew that this weekend!

When someone gives you their full attention, isn’t that awesome? When this happens, it is not only noticed, but remembered, even years later, because not many people truly listen.  So many people have other things going through their minds and may only capture a fraction of what is said.  I seriously remember specific people who listened attentively, because they stand out from all others.

FRIENDS TAKING ACTION

I also had another example of Actions Not Words, that I will always remember:  Our family was away on vacation and had a death in the family while we were away.  A fairly new neighbor heard about this and took immediate action:  Michelle C. contacted people that she met through me and spread the word. She went grocery shopping and Maria R. provided a meal so when we got home we could focus on family and not have to worry about the food basics.  This completely amazed me, the action she took and the other friends who did as well. Logically people do not have much food in their refrigerators when they leave for vacation, so she and others took care of that for us and we didn’t even have to think what we needed!  By the time we arrived home, it was already in our refrigerator!

So in summary, the next time someone is in need the message was to try for Actions not Words in addressing their situation.

THE CHURCH

If you are looking for a Christian Church, they offer online Live service every week, so you can log in where ever you are located as long as you have internet service. Here is their website:  https://www.wcrossing.org/, they are on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter too.

This is an amazing church in my opinion!  My friend, Michelle C. had encouraged me to check out the church years ago, but I was  a member of another church, so I didn’t. Then another friend of mine Krista K. also encouraged me, and I finally did in December 2015.  It was definitely something I should have done a long time ago and since then, I’ve found many of my friends from all different denominations also attend this church.

Have a Make it Count week!  

by Categories: FAITH, Improvement, MUSICTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment