Category: Love

Character Not Color!

Yes, I’m finally going there. I held off following the crowd and posting about a “color” but what I see bothers me. Why? Because everything repetitive turns into only “noise” in my opinion, the initial intended meaningful message gets diluted then it doesn’t solve anything: there will be supporters and there will be those opposing. Opinions are rampant, everyone’s got one and most people dismiss someone’s opinion unless it aligns with their personal viewpoint, so does it really create change?

Do I truly want to see a change? YES! Do I truly want to experience unity? YES! Do I strongly dislike labels? YES! How will change happen? Think about it: change is hard, most people resist change and WE CAN’T CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE! WE CAN ONLY CHANGE OURSELVES! Hopefully the people who feel this same way will become a better reflection and more visible to others preparing a better future together. Change starts with me. Gradually through every day experiences, opportunities and conversations change will come about, but it won’t be over night. Every individual has to do their personal part and it’s a learning process. There are always moments of stumbling before people make it through changes, right? As a society, because of “political correctness” everyone is so highly sensitive, offended so easily, and looking to “catch” someone saying something “off”; it makes conversations very fragile, each party not feeling like they can openly share their deepest honest thoughts, experiences and concerns leading to positive change. Not being able to safely express thoughts slows productive progress.

One thing that all of us could do a better job of is LISTENING, truly listening to each other, having EMPATHY, putting ourselves in the other person’s place, think about what their experience might be like. I’ve seen some posts like that and THOSE are affective. Social media can be used for sharing personal stories being honest and looking for positive change. I encourage those of you who are doing that; we need personal stories! We all have our own viewpoints shaped by our “different” life experiences and we see things from those experiences, but those experiences may be the “same” too? Just because some may see others based on personal experiences, doesn’t mean the entire population is that way. Generalization hurts.

What I feel strongest about regarding this topic is: Everyone: please stop making everything “Black” vs “White!” I think enough generations have passed that we should be focusing on “right” vs. “wrong” in regards to people’s actions. We have so many mixed nationalities and “colors” how can we even call it “black” or “white”? Our population is a melting pot, our ancestors have mixed it up quite a bit! We need to focus on ourselves as the “HUMAN” race. What difference does our skin color TRULY make? None!

There is no “good” race, or person, for that matter! The only one who can be called good is GOD! As a society, we need to stop blaming everyone else for everything and start being responsible and accountable for our own actions. I am not denying the fact that there are people who oppress others, who hate, who hurt, who manipulate others, who take advantage of others, etc. Yes, there are those people, and if we will all be honest, I’m sure we can find someone who “looks just like us” and can be described in that way. It all boils down to character not color. And we need to find a way to reach those people doing “bad” things and give them a reason to change! Educate.

There are many who have experienced inequality, and injustice but we can’t make a broad sweeping judgement against numerous people based on certain individuals’ actions. Each person must be held accountable for their own actions and dealt with in a just way, as it relates to the established laws. One person breaking a law does not justify others breaking laws in retaliation; does that truly cause POSITIVE change? Or does it perpetuate hatred? And most of the media coverage I see is a disgrace to society. The media is all about drama, it highlights the worst of the worst and devotes more time to that than anything else, it ignites the problem.

There is genuine frustration felt by everyone.

I want to say the following to the people who are voicing personal racism right now:

  1. First of all, I don’t want to call you by a “color” label! I personally want to refer to you as a person: male or female and that is all. Why do we use a different label? Do you want to be identified with a label? Can we stop that?
  2. I want you to share your experiences, so that others can learn from them and become aware. We need that.
  3. I don’t form an opinion of someone based on their skin color, your skin color doesn’t matter to me. My opinion of you is formed based on my interaction with you and the personal character you present to me.
  4. I’ve met people whom I respect greatly and people that I don’t respect at all, but that is because of what they say or do, it’s all about character not “color”
  5. Many others experience “injustice” at times, you are not alone in this. If you look at history, many have experienced horrible injustice and persecution: Jewish people as well as Christians. In my life, I’ve personally witnessed men, as well as women experiencing injustice solely due to their sex and generalized assumptions. I have strong feelings about this: we ALL need to support what is “right” and be against what is “wrong” and not let “general assumptions” define an entire “group” of people. We need unity, not division.
  6. I’ve personally experienced being dismissed, honestly based on me being a woman, rather than based on my abilities but I will always remember the man who recognized this (without being told by anyone to do this) and he spoke up for me immediately, in the moment. He was an example to me of the character we all should have, and I’ve told others about that experience for years. That is what makes a difference- acting in the moment and we all need to do this, we all need to speak up when we see something happen. I don’t believe that I need to belong to “the equal rights, women’s club” or take on a “strong, forceful woman persona” because of this experience. I feel like that sort of identification and “separation” from men, actually causes more “separation.” So it bothers me when people do that: identify that way. Please be strong in standing for what you believe as an individual, because many people within a group label are different, and you may not want to be labeled the same as some of those people in the group. I didn’t want to be identified “differently” in business; I just wanted to be viewed based solely on my abilities. I believe we need to acknowledge our differences (men and women) and be happy about those differences; we compliment and balance each other! This experience I had was as an Architectural Project Manager on a construction job site, and there weren’t many woman in that type of a role as there are now. I just needed time to gain other’s confidence, working TOGETHER, over time, and it did change. I had to contribute to conversation more so others could view me based on my knowledge rather than on being a woman. Some might say, I shouldn’t have needed to do that, but seriously? Who said life was going to be easy with no challenges? We have to do what it takes to make progress. If we want change, it will happen, but it happens with us as an individual first. Being in that situation required that I be respectful of others during the process, or I would have lost their respect and gained nothing, made no progress.
  7. I will stand up for what is right. I have empathy for people doing what is good/right, who are treated poorly, unfairly and without justice. I will NOT stand up for someone SOLELY based on their skin color; that is wrong. As a “white” person, it would be wrong for me to stand up for a “white” person, just because they are “white” but at the same time, this also holds true inserting any “color”- it is about character, not color to me.
  8. I believe we all achieve more when acting peacefully than acting out of anger. I think we need to reflect on how we can create a positive outcome before immediately addressing a situation so that it happens in a calm manner, rather than in an upset manner, and so we conclude with positive change.
  9. I wish those who say “the white people” this or that, would stop saying that because not all “white people” are the same, nor do all
    “white people” have the same life experiences. And I realize that not everyone says this…so that statement is only meant for those who say it. Again generalizations harm progress. Speak directly to the person who did something bad/wrong.
  10. I believe if those who feel we are on “opposite” sides took the time to get to know the “opposite” side, they will find out, we are the same: there are people who do “good” and people who do “bad.” We need to be unified in opposing “bad”.
  11. I realize I may have not experienced life the way some have, but then again, maybe I have and you simply don’t know me or my life? Don’t assume anything.
  12. The protests shown by the media don’t seem to lead to meaningful conversations from what I’ve seen. If a person doesn’t believe in what the protesters are saying, they ignore them, but the people who ignore them are the ones the protesters want to reach! The people who have the same view are already supportive. This doesn’t appear to be a means to success? I believe in the freedom of speech; but what is the most effective way? Then there are those who resort to violence because they are not being heard….Does yelling at someone with an opposing view point create positive change? Does giving authorities the middle finger work to do anything other than perpetuate hatred? I haven’t seen it do something positive. This is venting anger and perpetuating the problem unfortunately. This violence needs to stop or positive change will not happen. I think we may all agree with this? We can’t be supportive of people who are acting badly. Can we ask ourselves: what are we doing personally to stop people we know who behave like this? How can we reach them?
  13. Lastly, it concerns me when our society/news media continually highlights “black” and “white” as the primary focus….can we please focus on:

Character not Color!

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Am I a “Fake Christian”?

In some parts of the world, being a Christian is acceptable and has a positive connotation; but in other parts of the world, being a Christian is not acceptable and people are persecuted for it. Thankfully, in the US, we currently have freedom of speech and don’t fear referring to ourselves as a Christian. However, being a Christian in today’s modern world has lost its some of its meaning; many think, if I say I believe in Jesus, I’m saved. (But don’t forget, even the demons in the bible believed in God, and you probably know they won’t be in eternal life with God.) Therefore making it to Heaven by believing in Jesus, including his death, resurrection and ascension (faith) is part of the truth, but not the whole truth.

Throughout this article, links to verses from the bible are provided, supporting the statements made.

Many may not know, or never paid attention to the next part: faith without action is dead, or they never heard Jesus’ talk about the wide gate and the narrow gate. I was one of those people who thought believing in Jesus and being a “good” person was enough. But being “good” is not enough, and no person is “good”, only God is “good” – Jesus said that. We can’t get to Heaven just by being “good” because we would never be that good to be in God’s presence. Jesus was the sacrifice, God’s gift to us that makes this possible, but throughout the Bible, we are told to be obedient and change our ways. I didn’t fully comprehend what this meant for many years, so it made me think: maybe there are more people like me who are not fully aware of this either?

The word “Christian” is used very casually today, many of us calling ourselves Christians/Believers, but not acting like Christians/Believers (aka “Fake Christians”). “Fake Christians” give practicing Christians a bad reputation to those who don’t believe anything or follow a different religion. I say practicing Christians because let’s face it, no one is or will ever be the perfect Christian and that is why God sent Jesus as THE sacrifice for all of us who call ourselves Christians. I write this for an awareness most importantly because knowing this affects our eternal life/salvation promised by God. Knowing if we will make it has been so diluted by so many religious authority figures, in an effort to become “politically correct,” it concerns me, especially when it comes to the question: “Will I make it to God’s promised eternal life?” this subject becomes important for every single one of us on earth.

So what is a true Christian, a true believer? A follower of Christ. What does it mean to be a follower of Christ, a believer? If we believe what Jesus taught when He was here then he told us what we need to do. He didn’t just say “believe,” in His first teachings He told people to “repent.” So being a “believer/Christian” means doing a lot of things, such as:

So after reading this above, it’s probably pretty easy to see that being a Christian isn’t easy or effortless. But it’s also important to not become discouraged, to know that no one will be perfect; it’s the true intention we have that matters to God. That’s why regular prayers and connecting with God is important. And correcting our mistakes as soon as we realize we made one.

Studying the bible showed me I had a lot of work to do. It’s much easier to say we are all saved by grace and we don’t have to do anything else…but I don’t believe that is the full Truth: we have a choice, an obligation, and a commitment to make.

We have to have a relationship with God, if we don’t we may hear Jesus say to us: “I never knew you.” The other important part to know is that only one sin is unforgivable: blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, but no other sin is too bad for God to forgive. He willingly forgives and encourages us to do the same with each other, when someone asks for our forgiveness. It’s never too late and it’s what God wants: a relationship with us in eternity.

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Sacrifice?

Here we go again! It’s early morning, on a holiday weekend, but does it feel like the ones from the past? Not to me. Real life experiences and early morning thoughts inspire what I often write. So how appropriate to all of us is the topic of sacrifice right now? I’m betting this topic’s relatable to most of us.

Some words get overused, so while the meaning is known, it’s original meaning is diluted, or no longer thought about. So here is the definition:

sac·ri·fice/ˈsakrəˌfīs/ sacrifice; plural noun: sacrifices

  1. an act of slaughtering an animal or person or surrendering a possession as an offering to God or to a divine or supernatural figure.”they offer sacrifices to the spirits”
  2. Similar: ritual
    • an animal, person, or object offered in a sacrifice.
    • an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.”we must all be prepared to make sacrifices“

So the “sacrifice” concept is something that NEVER made sense to me in the Bible, until now. I seriously struggled with this, it didn’t make sense to me, but it does now. Anyone who truly believes there is a God, will understand this after I explain, but if you don’t believe in God, you’re going to have a hard time comprehending this. While reading the Bible, especially in the Old Testament, there is a lot of ugly, disgusting, repulsive stuff that happens and some of it, I don’t want to read again; it’s that bad. It’s historical “Netflix”, documented in the Bible, for real. At least on some of Netflix, a person can think: “it’s just a movie” or a “show” but this was real life and really happened.

I had so many questions: Why would God do this? Who made this “rule/ritual”? Why is “sacrifice” required? Why would God, who created everything and told us “not to kill” be okay with “sacrifice”? It certainly seemed to contradict the messages and made it confusing: “don’t kill”, then “slaughter this specific animal, in a certain process”…What? I think many of us who get that far, may stop and say…”Well I don’t believe in a God like that, so I’m going to ignore that. It doesn’t make sense.” I did that for awhile, but covering up your eyes and ears doesn’t make something go away. So then “why”?

First, let’s start with those who believe in God. If you truly believe in God, you believe in a spiritual being that you cannot see. Let that sink in. Sounds crazy, right? If you believe in God, you need to acknowledge that believing in God, to those who don’t, does sound primitive and crazy. And yes, I personally believe in God, but let’s be honest about it from the world’s view today. Then if you know the Bible, and even if you don’t, I’m telling you right now: The Bible is about a loving God, but a spiritual war that commenced with us in the middle shortly after God created people.

The Bible doesn’t explain, in detail, why this war started, it only tells us there was a dispute and Satan (the devil) was thrown, cast, hurled from Heaven down to earth.

So as I write this, I think, uh this sounds like a fictitious story we tell kids to make a point! I thought that for a long time. There is so much today that makes fun of those who bring up Satan, and maybe solidify or perpetuate the thought this is fictitious, like the “church lady,” which I personally find humorous, but disrespectful at the same time because it presents people who believe in a laughable way – and I’m one of those people, but I always thought we can’t be too serious all the time, it’s okay to laugh at ourselves, others might disagree with me about that? I disregard that comedy, just like it disregards Christians. But as soon as you realize the Bible lines up with history and historical events were predicted in the Bible by prophets and actually came true, and the people in the Bible are real people, with a documented lineage, ancestry; then that concept of “story-time” fails. You have to not only read the Bible, but study the Bible and compare to history books for this proof.

Anyway getting back to the explanation: Satan (the devil) is real, is part of that history and has a role/a place in the Bible from the beginning until the end. We need to acknowledge that, as weird as it sounds; it has a profound impact, back then and today. If you don’t comprehend that, you’re missing the warning for all of us given throughout the Bible. So this dispute between God and Satan occurred and I don’t know why God didn’t just immediately destroy Satan, but knowing God’s character from the Bible, it could be that He allowed Satan to continue in existence possibly because God is loving but just. He doesn’t act impulsively, He is patient, He gives people time, but in the end, God is just.

To put this into a modern day concept: think about a business leader/boss, who has a star performer employee and this star employee is phenomenal, but then pride takes over for the star employee and based on pride, selfishness, and love of money, the star employee starts thinking they are better than their leader – for this example, it is important to use the assumption here that the leader is a good one, a caring one, a fair person, honest, looks out for the employees, provides for them, etc. (because there are many leaders who don’t exhibit those qualities today) – but this star employee is no longer a team player, just out for their own personal benefit. So the star employee leaves and competes with the former employer to prove their superiority. The leader has been around a long time, with a loyal customer base and a proven business, so the leader just lets this former “star employee” have its own way. knowing eventually those character flaws/qualities of pride, selfishness and love of money will self destruct the former star employee. The leader doesn’t even need to fight it, the former star employee’s own motivation and actions will end up bringing the star employee to ruin. Haven’t we seen that today? Does it make more sense now? This leader is like God and Satan is like the star employee. Is fighting or immediate destruction even needed, for God to prove He is right? No. Also, knowing God’s character from the Bible, do you think maybe He loved Satan/Devil/Lucifer at one time? I do. Have you ever loved someone that turned on you? If you really loved them, then you wouldn’t want to destroy them, you’d be more hurt than anything.

Getting back to sacrifice. Sacrifice plain and simple is for atonement.

a·tone·ment/əˈtōnmənt/: atonement; plural noun: atonements

  1. reparation for a wrong or injury.”she wanted to make atonement for her husband’s behavior”
    • (in religious contexts) reparation or expiation for sin.”an annual ceremony of confession and atonement for sin”
    • CHRISTIAN THEOLOGY the reconciliation of God and humankind through Jesus Christ.noun: Atonement; noun: the Atonement

The presence of sin (starting in the Garden of Eden) caused death, pain and sacrifice. Sacrifice leads to atonement. Sin is also referred to as “death.” There is no death for God; he is eternal. Those who make it to heaven will also become immortal/eternal too. These are concepts given to us in the Bible through prophets and through Jesus. When people choose to sin, people are ultimately choosing death. Death is the experience for sin; sin separates people from God. Satan is competing with God. What better way to separate people from God, than to entice people through sin, separating people from God. Sin is deceptive: it might be fun (for the moment) but isn’t there a time when we look back on sin and realize maybe it wasn’t worth the consequence? If it were this clear to people, people wouldn’t choose sin. But Satan is also known as the ultimate deceiver and then the accuser. Has anyone ever deceived you before? You didn’t expect it, right? When someone is good at deceiving, it’s a surprise when we figure it out. If it’s something no one wants (death), wouldn’t you have to be deceitful to gain people, coax them into death? Then after you deceive someone into sinning…don’t let them turn back “repent” to repair their relationship …keep reminding them (accusing them) of their sin so they feel so worthless and like they can’t go back. (which is also a lie) That’s exactly how Satan operates with his ultimate goal of separating people from God. This was shown to us in the book of Job; Satan was using all he could to get Job to turn away from God!

I’m going to assume that most people would choose living over dying, because people are sad when someone dies. So what better way for Satan to separate people from God, than through death? A sacrifice is exactly that: death of something. Sacrifices started because of sin. God put an end to “living being sacrifices” through Jesus’ death on the cross. That was the ultimate sacrifice: “Jesus/God dying” and what Satan wanted from the beginning, “the ransom” as we understand from the Bible. But that wasn’t the end as we are told through the Bible by prophets and Jesus himself; there is more to come. (Read more about the future in this link).

In summary, God created the earth and everything on it out of love. He created people to love Him back. We all know that forced love is not real love, so God doesn’t force people; He lets people choose. We ended up in a spiritual warzone without knowing this when we were born, but at some point in life, we will figure this out. When we figure it out, then we have to make a choice. Satan is opposing God and working hard to separate as many people from God as possible through deceptive ways. God was not pleased with the living sacrifices and responded to that by offering Jesus as the ransom, the ultimate sacrifice for us, no one has the value Jesus has, so that is what made Jesus an acceptable sacrifice, more valuable than any of us. Jesus’ sacrifice saves those who want to be saved from eternal Hell. But we still have a choice. Do we believe in Jesus? Do we have faith in this? Do we accept this “gift” from God? If you said yes, you are “almost” saved. I felt strongly about making this clear to people, because I think there is a larger number of people who think when they answer this “I believe”, “they’re good to go!” but that is not the full truth based on what I found in the Bible, and I see many churches appeal to people in this way and it’s sad to me, because they are misleading people and possibly keeping them from heaven. It is true that by faith we are saved, but faith alone is death – Jesus’ brother James told us that in the Bible. We didn’t get “off the hook” that easily, there is something more required of us by God: we are required to be obedient to his commands. We can’t do enough good things to earn our way to heaven; that would cause pride and God hates a prideful person. So it is by faith, but proving our faith by our actions. Becoming obedient prepares people for living in eternity with God and shows God we mean what we say. How many people are good at “lip service,” telling us what we want to hear, but not supporting what they say by their actions? Well this is the same between us and God. Are we giving God “lip service” or are we proving it by our actions? The obedience part is probably the most challenging part for all of us. It is not natural for us to be obedient, but God requires it. Thankfully, God is forgiving, so it doesn’t matter what we’ve done; He promises forgiveness, but with forgiveness, He also requires us to change our future actions and not do whatever it was anymore. None of us will be perfect, even after we commit to changing our ways, because we are human, so making mistakes requires us to take personal responsibility for them immediately, apologize and change. If we don’t, then we are going against God, we are just giving God “lip service” and He’s not fooled. He knows our intentions; He created us! So not taking action is not going to be a “success story” for those who give God “lip service”. Sacrifice today is still required though not through the death of a living being, thank God for that, but it still requires painful decisions for us personally. It won’t be easy, change isn’t easy. We want the immediate reward “here and now,” but the reward God has planned is promised to be greater than what we sacrifice “here and now”. What do you chose?

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Broken Trust

One commonality we share is broken trust at some point in our lives. Now that some of us have more time than we ever had before, our minds are more activated: contemplating: “What is truly going on?” Many of us can’t stay still, if we are not busy doing something, then we are busy thinking something. The novelty and desire for more time has worn off for many people (those not on the “front lines”) during this pandemic. Most people are ready to get back to what was known to be “normal.”

As time goes on, I see a mixture of: those filled with hope, those filled with fear and those who react by avoidance (doing whatever they can to “escape” reality.)

Time is the most valuable resource we have on earth. Time is valuable because we can never “make more of it,” once it’s gone, it’s gone. Realizing this, how we spend our time matters.

Getting back to broken trust, or mistrust, there is a humorous viewpoint of what’s happening now that’s been circulated on social media recently, by an unknown author:

“All. Of. This. 🤣

May this share help straighten out some of the confusion and misinformation out there, thanks to fake-stream media… Here is my understanding of the current findings in a short summary 😊:

1. Basically, you can’t leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.

2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.

3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.

4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.

5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.

6. Gloves won’t help, but they can still help.

7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it’s important to GO OUT.

8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.

9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.

10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…

11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my..

12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it’s better not to go out, well, but no…

13. It’s better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don’t go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).

14. You can’t go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.

15. If you are sick, you can’t go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.

16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn’t wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?

17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with ” I don’t want to trigger panic, but…”

18. You can’t see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.

19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don’t live under the same roof.

20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.

21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn’t say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.

22. The virus stays in the air – well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.

23. We count the number of deaths but we don’t know how many people are infected, as we have only tested, so far, those who were “almost dead” to find out if that’s what they will die of…

24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications). Orange man bad.

25. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?”

The reality is: this is confusing and people do not know whom to trust.

There is a new documentary (linked here) that went into circulation on Monday, April 13, 2020, which only intensifies the question of who is trustworthy? Whether or not a person watching this believes the content or doesn’t believe it, the obvious message from the documentary is:

use your mind, your critical thinking capabilities, pay attention to how you spend your time and what you “feed” your mind

The truth is there is good and bad in this world. We can’t control that fact, but we have a personal choice in what we choose and how we spend our time: good or bad BUT, WE ARE NOT “HELPLESS”: each of us can make a difference with the time we have been given and what we do with that time.

So who can we trust? GOD.

God is eternal and God protects those who have faith and obey his commands. We are wasting our time if we put our trust in ANYTHING other than God. Why? Because trust in anything else can and will eventually go away, someday. Anything else is temporary and won’t be there for us through eternity.

While some people are good people, none are perfect, so we honestly can’t blindly trust people. But that doesn’t mean we live in fear, it just means that we trust someone proven throughout history to be trustworthy: God.

When we have any kind of fear, realize it’s temporary, ask God to handle it but do the best with what God has given us (don’t give up), but in addition to doing what we can , ask God to send the Holy Spirit to help. In some situations, we are not strong enough on our own, but God is the ultimate “power” source.

I realize this “solution” isn’t going to be meaningful to those who don’t believe, so if this is you: why not take this time to get to know God by praying (talking to him in your own personal thoughts) and reading the Bible (searching for answers to your personal questions)? (Here is a bible resource link, if you don’t have one) God will respond if you truthfully seek Him with your heart. If you are a person that feels you’ve done too much wrong in life for this to work for you; please know the Bible tells us the exact opposite: you will be forgiven by God, when you ask for forgiveness and make every effort to become a better person.

Regarding good and bad people and how do we know who are more (not completely) trustworthy than others? It is only by their actions, not what they say, look for: people who show love, joy, are peaceful, faithful, gentle and exhibit self control. Those are the most trustworthy people.

How do we recognize untrustworthy people? Look for: sexual immorality, impurity, excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures, participate in orgies, those who prioritize anything or anyone as more important than God, those who practice witchcraft, express hate, those who are jealous people, people with uncontrolled tempers, people with selfish ambition, people who are envious of others, people who get drunk, and so forth. Don’t put trust in people who fit this description; these are the least trustworthy people.

The solution to broken trust is making God your priority over EVERYTHING else in life. When we recognize ourselves as “children of God” and not “children of this world,” We can trust Him; He will protect us. (linked to 1 John 5: 18-19)

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One Change: making a Difference

This “change” has been on my mind for days now, so I’m giving in and writing about it. There are countless books on “Do This” subject matter for those seeking personal improvement. But it wasn’t until I was listening to a podcast, that I truly absorbed the enormity of this realizing this ONE, singular, simple change makes all the difference in literally EVERY relationship we have (family, friends, business, and even strangers)! And it’s a personal change I can make and you can make and once the change is made, it will impact however many people we interact with throughout life: the count could be thousands, millions or billions of people impacted! It’s not easy; but it IS SIMPLE! A simple concept, similar to golf: one that takes continual effort to master the skill; it requires daily, realistically every minute focus, to change and improve, because it’s not natural, but it can make a difference INSTANTLY when applied.

What is it? Changing our mindset from being self-centered and selfish to selfless. I loved this clever statement when I heard it: “being selfless requires thinking of my self LESS” by Rick Warren (link).

Immediately upon stating this, I realize there are some selfless people who are used or abused by others. While everyone should be selfless, there are abusive situations where avoiding or removing yourself from a situation like that is the right thing to do. The book of Proverbs is a source for wisdom about this. It is written: “do not associate with…” In an abusive situation, remember that God values YOU and you do not deserve abuse. God rescued people from abusive situations: The Israelites from slavery in Egypt, Joseph from his abusive brothers, Paul from bondage in prison, Peter from prison, to name a few examples and rescued all of us from something even worse, eternal death, through Jesus Christ.

This is more than relevant this week, because this week is Holy Week , it started this past Sunday and leads to the ultimate act of selfLESSness by anyone ever: Jesus’ death on the cross, offering his own life as a sacrifice for all of our sins, making it possible for every single person to have eternal life with God.

Why “a sacrifice” of physical death was ever a solution to remove sin still leaves me with many questions, especially when something/someone innocent was used as the sacrifice. This is ultimately a law of the Universe, but it doesn’t seem to fulfill justice when innocent die so I still struggle with that. I could understand why those who do wrong could be punished (from a justice viewpoint), but not the innocent, especially as a sacrifice. I think there is more to this “law” than we will know while we are living.

Sacrifice is not something any of us WANT to do, we want to avoid it, if at all possible, even in a minimal way (when our comfort is challenged). But self sacrifice is the ultimate expression of love. When we let go of something we want for the benefit of others or when we give up something for the benefit of others, we are self sacrificing, being self LESS; we are being Christlike. So the life sacrifice that Jesus made proves God’s love for all people. Prior to Jesus’ sacrifice, innocent animals were used for this horrible sacrifice, but God was not pleased by those sacrifices and Jesus was the final solution to end this. (this link explains it more)

Many of us have heard the story of Holy Week and Easter, but we’ve heard it so many times, it loses the impact today, for some. It is so “distant,” so long ago, today it becomes Easter eggs and candy, but this year it will be different. Maybe this is our opportunity to really contemplate the significance of this week? The significance of what Jesus did: This season’s MOST IMPORTANT meaning to ALL of us. To be thankful, that Jesus didn’t eternally die and that death isn’t “forever” for those of us who believe!

Jesus rose from his physical death (witnessed by others living at the time and documented in the Bible) to prove to us there is life after death; death is not to be feared, there is a future beyond our physical death and it is a future worth preparing.

Truly comprehending what Jesus did for us makes any of our sacrifices seem small in comparison. But also, it gives me reason for introspection: am I being selfish, self-centered, or self LESS in living my life? This is one mindset change that will make a tremendous difference for both others (now) and our eternity (later).

Wishing you a Happy Easter and hoping we all change for the better this year!

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What Marriage should be…

It’s interesting how one idea leads to another when there are no other distractions! Yesterday I wrote “Marriage doesn’t exist in God’s Kingdom” and after I finished, I thought more should be said about marriage because it truly is something very important, it is a union envisioned and created by God, but in our culture, marriage is viewed as “disposable.”

Why should I write about this?

Because many people, even strangers surprisingly, have asked for advice and I’m not even a psychologist! I think back to when I was a teen, after my parents’ divorce, I was on my own quest for relationship advice, I didn’t know where to get it, so I kept reading books. But even in books there is a lot of bad advice out there, as I’ve finally learned, but now know the truth. So who can be trusted? There’s only one trusted source: God. So what follows is NOT MY advice; this is from the Bible, summarized here:

What marriage should be:

  1. Two people honestly focused on God as the priority

This point is the most important part of a marriage, and the emphasis is on “two,” both people, not just one person. If you both aren’t focused on God as a priority there is a very high probability that you will go through a divorce. If you’re not married yet, you should hold off and save yourself the headache, if both of you are not God focused; that should happen first. So if you choose to get married without taking this step first, then plan on giving away whatever you accumulated and be prepared to live a more simple life than you are right now because that is reality.

So how does having God as a priority make a marriage successful?

Marriage is hard work. Each person will need help with marriage because no one is perfect and we truly can’t do it on our own; we will need God’s strength at some point to continue, or to change. Because honestly some situations are just too challenging to deal with on our own. Trust in God.

If a couple is God focused, they commit to obeying the 10 commandments. These are the laws from God that should not be broken.

If both people are focused on God and follow the ways Jesus instructed, then each person will NOT be focused on:

  • sexual immorality
  • impurity
  • lust
  • evil desires
  • greed
  • anger, rage
  • malice
  • slander
  • filthy language
  • lies
  • getting drunk

But they WILL be focused on:

  • compassion
  • kindness
  • humility
  • gentleness
  • patience
  • forgiveness
  • love
  • peace
  • thankfulness, gratitude

2. Two people should know what “LOVE” truly means and be prepared to make that commitment to each other

I wrote about this in detail recently: “Real Love”

3. The husband should desire to do/be the following in marriage:

4. The wife should desire to do/be the following in marriage:

I truly believe that if people followed these guidelines from the Bible, there would no longer be divorce. All the underlined text above has links from the bible for reference. I hope this is helpful to someone who reads.

by Categories: Dating, FAITH, FAMILY, HAPPINESS, Improvement, Love, Make It Count, Marriage, RELATIONSHIPS, SexTags: , , , , Leave a comment