Category: Dating

Avoiding Deception and Manipulation

Valuable information is found in scripture and if we learn and apply this, it will keep us from being deceived or manipulated. The tool to know if a person is a deceiver or manipulator is found in Galatians 5, a letter Paul wrote to the Galatians around 50 AD (about 20 years after Jesus was crucified to put this in historical context).

Pay attention to the descriptive qualities of a person to know if they are truly guided by the Holy Spirit or as scripture states still under the bondage of the evil one who opposes God. There are some who may call themselves Christians but when we look at the description of a person’s character of one who is “in Christ,” a true “Believer”- these traits will be seen if the person is guided by the Holy Spirit. If none of these traits are seen in a person, that person is a liar about being a Christian (so stay away from them, do not trust them), if some of the traits are seen that person may be a new Christian in process a “baby Christian,” so still be cautious, but a mature Christian will show these traits consistently, more often than not, with occasional “mistakes,” this person is more trustworthy, but not still not perfect, because no one will be perfected until Jesus returns. The fruit of the Spirit is what can be seen in someone truly being guided by the Holy Spirit. Here are the verses:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

There are definitions of the 9 characteristics:

  1. Love: agapē (ἀγάπη– Greek word): Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…1 Corinthians 13:4-8
  2. Joy: chara (χαρά– Greek word): cheerfulness, i.e. calm delight
  3. Peace: eirēnē (εἰρήνη – Greek word): by implication, prosperity:—one, peace, quietness, rest,
  4. Patience: makrothymia (μακροθυμία – Greek word): forbearance or (subjectively) fortitude:—longsuffering, patience.
  5. Kindness: chrēstotēs (χρηστότης– Greek word): usefulness, i.e. morally, excellence (in character or demeanor):—gentleness, good(-ness), kindness.
  6. Goodness: agathōsynē (ἀγαθωσύνη – Greek word): i.e. virtue or beneficence
  7. Faithfulness: pistis (πίστις– Greek word): persuasion, i.e. credence; moral conviction (of religious truth, or the truthfulness of God or a religious teacher), especially reliance upon Christ for salvation; abstractly, constancy in such profession; by extension, the system of religious (Gospel) truth itself:—assurance, belief, believe, faith, fidelity.
  8. Gentleness: prautēs (πραΰτης– Greek word): gentleness, by implication, humility:—meekness.
  9. Self-Control: egkrateia (ἐγκράτεια – Greek word): (the virtue of one who masters his desires and passions, especially his sensual appetites)

Not only is this a good checklist when encountering others and determining how trusting we should be with them, but this is equally as important as a checklist for us. Do we exhibit these qualities? Do we need more help from the Holy Spirit in certain areas? Jesus said to his disciples:

Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

John 14:12-14

“If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.

John 14:15-17

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.

John 3:5

And Paul warns us:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:12

We are told we live in a spiritual world, where the unseen is present and influencing events in our daily lives and we may even interact with angels unknowingly:

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

Hebrews 13:2

And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

2 Kings 6:17

Knowing what to look for (the traits of a person guided by the Holy Spirit) helps us avoid deception and manipulation. Don’t be swayed by emotion, use scriptural knowledge and overcome.

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Letter to “My Younger Self”

This question was asked: “What three words of advice would you give your younger self now?” This question was a discussion point at our church this past weekend, having us sharing our answers with those next to each of us. My friends and I all had different answers and it was interesting to hear others’ responses to this question because some were funny, some were serious, but all were insightful about the headline of a story of each person.

The first three words that popped in mind were: “Trust and Obey.” These words are interesting to me because the subject of the message was “hearing God’s voice” (the recorded message is below) I went Saturday, January 7, 2023, but this is the recorded one from Sunday.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=qmEQ3YpE22o%3Fstart%3D10

In hindsight I wonder, was that God’s voice speaking to me and others, telling each one of us something different? If we are connected to God, it could have been. I’m still trying to discern when thoughts pop into my mind: is this just a thought of mine, from God, or from God’s enemy? I’ve found when certain thoughts (thoughts that don’t contradict scripture, and ones that push me towards something “good” but not necessarily what “I feel” like doing)- these may be God’s voice. Just now as I’m writing this a specific scripture came to mind, scripture about when God was going to pass near Elijah and he looked for God, waited for God, but each moment he thought was God, it wasn’t, then God finally came as a “a whisper”- God is gentle and loving! 1 Kings 19:11-12, click here for multiple verses that show that God speaks as a whisper!

This morning, I woke up thinking about this message, the words that came to mind last Saturday came to mind again this morning. I’ve found that often when I “get a message or hear” from God, it is repeated three times: the same message, often through different people or sources, shortly thereafter. As I started to write this, I also recalled this message of “Trust and Obey” had made an impact on me before, I wrote about it as my faith journey started (February 20, 2017), here is a link to that post: Trust and Obey That was six years ago, and re-reading it I can see how much I’ve learned and changed since then, yet I still have the same struggles! I’m reminded (in thoughts) that we are not perfect and won’t be until God perfects us and changes us to the “perfect children” He intended us to be at the future return of Jesus, when He gathers his children and we are changed in an instant. 1 Corinthians 15:52, read 1 Corinthians 15:35-58 Until then, we will have our struggles, but throughout the struggles, I know that it is important to continue to turn to God when we don’t do what we know we should do. It’s a continual refocus, don’t let go of the relationship with God. God hears the prayers of those who love him (Proverbs 15:29) and are obedient to his commands (John 14:15). (Look at all these verses in scripture what it tells us about obeying God’s commands.)

There is much more to say beyond “Trust and Obey.” In order to trust someone, we need to know that someone and in this situation, it means knowing God, His character, what has been revealed to us through scripture about Him, what He told others. Scripture gives us ALL the guidance about important matters that we need about life FROM God, our creator! (2 Timothy 3:16) So by trusting in God, trusting in His word, we are “guided” throughout life. God promises blessings to those who trust His words and obey them (taking action, not just knowing what is recommended, but doing it). If I learned this long ago, to trust and obey, I would have avoided some situations in life that were troublesome for me. This doesn’t mean that we will have a life without trouble, trouble still comes for other reasons: when we are being tested which reveals our level of Trust in Him. What better way to know a person’s true intention than by seeing their action when we are truly tested. We can say certain things by knowing “the correct answer” but knowing and doing don’t always align. That’s when we need to ask God for the Holy Spirit (who is given to those who obey – Acts 5:32) to guide and give us self-control (Galatians 5:22-23) – The Advocate (look at each of those verses about the Advocate, I also see something important here: the Advocate is God, is Jesus, is the Holy Spirit!)

Getting back to the advice I would give my younger self:

  1. Seek God First in everything you do.
  2. Know that you are loved, you were created out of love by God – because He wants you in His future Kingdom
  3. Know that you are unique, valuable, created by God and have a specific purpose that only you are made to do
  4. Know that your parents on earth are “bonus” parents because God is your true father and the One who gave/gives you life
  5. Listen for God’s guidance, if you obey His commands, He will give His Spirit to guide you in life and keep you on the “narrow road” that leads to God’s kingdom
  6. Know the true definition of “LOVE”: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails….(1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)
  7. Know how to see if someone has God’s spirit, and connect/stay connected with those people in your life, if they show the following in their actions: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control… (Read Galatians 5:13-26) 
  8. Love God, Love Others.
  9. Trust God in all circumstances
  10. Pray daily: Thank God for the good in life, ask for daily guidance and protection
  11. Read scripture daily to continue to learn, hear from God, and stay connected to His Spirit
  12. Keep your focus on obeying God’s commands because God gives His Spirit to those who choose to obey Him, by obedience your life will be blessed by God, this is how you show God that you love Him- by obeying His commands, it also shows respect, honor and gratitude to God for all that He has given and promises His children in the future (immortality in God’s kingdom), we need God’s Spirit to enter the Kingdom of God- Jesus said (as recorded in John, Chapter 3):

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.

John 3:5
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When Someone Hurts You…

Right now, find a personal peaceful place of momentary solitude and read or listen (on the podcast) to what I share in this letter. There are many times where having others around is good and positive, but for the moment, find a place and make some alone time for yourself, so you can think without being distracted or interrupted. I don’t know where you are in your beliefs, but what I’m about to share is what has been effective for me personally, when “life” didn’t always go as well as I wanted. I am 100% confident this will be effective for you too, but please be patient, it may or may not be a “quick fix,” depending on the depth of the “hurt” you experienced, but this will be an effective lasting healing. I sincerely hope you give this a try because it works and not only works, but in my opinion is the ONLY solution that will have a lasting healing from the “hurt”! I’m saying this from my personal experience, this will be the best thing in life that you ever did, if you follow through!

In your solitude, whether you have faith or not at this time, just please try this: quiet your thoughts and think about the words in this prayer and say this, directing it towards Jesus:

“Dear Jesus, I’m struggling with hurt (and anger) right now and I need discernment, strength, healing, wisdom and hope that only you can grant me. Please help and guide me through this time in my life.”

WHY JESUS?

As you probably know, the best person to get advice from is the person who has been through the experience and has overcome the experience successfully, so there is no one better to get advice from than Jesus, because he lived on earth and went through many things that we go through: He was tempted, he was abandoned, he was betrayed by those closest to him, he was murdered, people stole from him, people rejected him, people made fun of him, he was beaten, he experienced aloneness for 40 days , his closest friends didn’t support him, denied him, he felt physical pain, he was lied to (Peter his friend), he experienced hatred from others and MOST importantly: He SUCCESSFULLY overcame ALL this! I can’t think of anyone who experienced ALL these things and still came out on top, overcame all of it, can you? This is why Jesus is the ONLY one I go to for advice (through prayer)!

RELEASE YOUR FEELINGS

This is in private: tell Jesus everything (uncensored) because he knows it anyway- no one else needs to know. Be honest about everything, talk to him, because he already knows, it’s good to be honest about the hurt (and anger) or write it down (and tear up the paper, or burn it afterwards, but “pour” it all out, release all your feelings), and understand this hurt is TEMPORARY! It WILL get better. If we don’t express this hurt and anger, it can build up inside and come out later in ways we don’t want it to, if it’s not taken care of sooner, it will come out later.

DISCERNMENT ABOUT THE EVENT

This is one of the things asked for in the prayer above: discernment. Sometimes what happened can be confusing to us, we don’t understand why it happened, but we can be sure it happened due to evil: please be aware, we live in a world that is impacted by unseen forces (both good and evil) and there is a good probability that whoever hurt you has something evil influencing them. That is why we are told not to fight evil with evil, but to fight evil with good because the spirit of God (Only God is good) is more powerful and effective than we are and will conquer anything evil. If a person has unknowingly allowed evil access to our lives (through continual sin), evil is influencing and evil spirits can also possess a person and make them act in wicked ways. People who allow sin to remain in their lives do become slaves to evil. That’s why getting sin out of our lives is beneficial for us. Sin creates an open portal in us and allows much worse events to happen because it separates us from God. Only God can truly protect us from evil – that’s why we need to eliminate what separates us from God. These evil spirits bring with them into people: sickness, mental health issues, addictions, violence, etc. This is real, not a fairy tale. If you don’t believe this, you are simply in a “blind-state” about it at the moment, but Jesus will open your eyes, when you sincerely seek him. If we do not have God’s spirit residing within us, by default, we are vulnerable to evil, but we can change that by calling out to Jesus in prayer and asking for His Spirit, which he willing gives to those who ask with good intentions. There is no doubt that it’s evil behind what hurt us; God’s spirit (when residing within someone) will warn a person before they act in an evil way, but it is up to the person if they choose to respond to the guidance. Discernment is the ability to distinguish between good and evil, we have to know about this before we can understand this. Evil is deceiving, in fact it can portray itself as “an angel of light” but we can discern what is evil by what we see in action, this is called the “fruit” of the spirit, what the spirit of God “produces” in action (which will not be seen in a person influenced or enslaved by evil): “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galations 5:22-23

LET IT GO

This is where you’ll need the strength we asked for in prayer: to let it go. After the “hurt” happens, it served its purpose and it is time to move on, it is over, the damage is done: God will use it for good, if you are one of God’s children and God will restore you and bless you in some way. Sometimes bad things happen as lessons in life (teaching us), other times bad things happen to test our relationship with God- to see what decision we will make after it happens: do we get closer to Him? or do we reject Him? And other times bad things happen to us as punishment for what we have done (separating ourselves from God- through our continual sin, know that we all sin and we all are not and will not be perfect as long as we are alive), so God disciplines His children with the hopes that we learn from the discipline and change our ways before something worse happens. Changing our ways means living life with Jesus as our model, our example, looking up to him for how we should handle ourselves. (This information is scattered throughout the New Testament and best found in the gospels. I like the book/gospel of John because he was one of the 12 original disciples who followed Jesus. he personally felt like he was “the closest” to Jesus and you’re hearing about Jesus, from first hand physical experience- from one of Jesus’ friends.)

FORGIVE

The person who harmed us may never ask for forgiveness, but we still need to forgive them because if we don’t, God may hold back His forgiveness of us. We all have broken God’s commandments at some point during our lives, so we ALL are in need of His forgiveness. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean what they did was “okay” but if we use discernment, we see that what they did was purely out of evil influence in their life. In truth, they may need more help than us, but leave it to God. God is just and will justly take care of the offense, God tells us: “it is mine to avenge“. And this may not be the most Christian way to think about the outcome, but God’s wrath is much more severe than anything we could ever do, so leave it in God’s hands and trust that God will address it in the future. He will. He is trustworthy and just. We truly don’t want to be against Him for this same reason. It is a battle that will be lost.

REDIRECT YOUR FOCUS

What we surround ourselves with affects us. Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (Corinthians 15:33) The best way to deal with the hurt when it arises is through prayer: express it and ask for help. Reading or listening to scripture or teachings from the bible will take your mind off it and give you something more useful/productive as an alternate focus. The music you listen to affects us, so try a change, find something peaceful, not sad, and even better is to find worship music that sounds good to you. This will uplift and encourage you as it takes your mind off the hurt. If you like positive “pop, hip-hop” upbeat music, there is an app you can download and listen to anywhere you go: here is the link to the website: BOOST Radio is 24/7 Pop, Hip Hop & Hope. Clean hip hop and pop music. – BOOST Radio (myboostnation.com) here are some other options: Top 10 Christian Radio Stations (godtube.com) When you are ready to be around others, choose people who build you up in your relationship with Jesus. This is the way to have support and lasting healing: we need to stay connected to Jesus, that’s what he mean when he said: I am the vine and you are the branches; if we are not connected to him we will not have the spirit of God protecting and guiding us.

KNOW THE FUTURE

There is only one who knows the future and he is God. When Jesus was on earth, he told people about the kingdom God has prepared for those who come to God through Jesus. This time on earth is temporary, there is a future eternity where people who have God’s spirit residing in them will be changed in an instant (at the return of Jesus) and those people will be rewarded with an incredible immortal future in a beautiful NEW earth and heaven that is not broken, where there will be no suffering, no tears, no sadness, but only joy and happiness and it will be indescribable, magnificent. No one can adequately, effectively describe what God has in store, but this world has nothing to compare to it. So it will be amazing. God’s new earth and heaven will surpass any expectation because of who He is. Don’t worry about what happens here, this is simply a transition to something greater, focus on the future of what God has in store for us. It will be incredible! Here is a glimpse: Revelation 21 (NIV) – Then I saw a new (blueletterbible.org) and Revelation 22 (NIV) – Then the angel showed me (blueletterbible.org) Help those you love know about what is in store for them as well, if they choose God and trust in Jesus (who we get to know through reading the gospel)! Jesus told everyone: “I am the way the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me” John 14:16 ,

MY PRAYER FOR YOU

I pray that you are healed from your hurt and that God restores and blesses you in ways you can’t even comprehend right now, but when it happens, know that God did it! Through Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Our Parents, Parenting and Jesus

Oh my gosh when information found in the Bible starts connecting to various scripture throughout the Bible about a single subject, an awakening/eye opening occurs and, I felt compelled to write about this even though there are so many other things I have to do right now.

Months ago, while reading in Genesis, I noticed something that stood out to me:

“And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring (seed) and hers; he will crush (strike) your head, and you will strike his heel.” Genesis 3:15

This is God speaking to the serpent. Does anyone else notice something odd? He is talking to a serpent and refers to your “offspring”. Look at this definition of a “serpent” too, then pay attention to a detail in Genesis 3:14:

So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, “Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You WILL crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life.

This statement refers to the future, not the current moment. Evidently the “serpent” WASN’T existing as a snake crawling on its belly UNTIL God cursed it! It (the serpent) was something specific, but not what we know as a “snake” when all this took place. What we understand from the bible comes from translations and depictions in artwork, but when we study God’s word, a deeper understanding occurs. Did you ever wonder why God, in the commandments He gave to Moses, told them not to make images of ANYTHING in heaven or on earth or below earth? (See Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 4) This was meant to discourage worshiping anything other than God, but also when we make an image in our mind of something we have not seen, it is only our imagination; it is not true reality! This is also the reason many people can mock this story, saying: wow a snake talking to people, right?!…but this isn’t just a “snake”!

So after we discover the fact that this wasn’t a hissing snake that deceived Eve, then there is the second part of this odd statement: “your offspring” or “your seed”. This implies that there are offspring from this serpent! This explains why God could justifiably wipe out or destroy a bunch of people.

Remember God is just, God is trustworthy, God is faithful to His people, God NEVER abandons His people. People abandon God, by their own choice.

People may bring up examples of good people who were hurt, destroyed or died untimely deaths and say: “that is not just, that is not fair, God is not just” but the answer to this is in the Bible too. When this happens, this is NOT God! Remember that. In God’s future Kingdom, there is no death, no weeping, no pain, no disease- this is God’s future plan for those who don’t CHOOSE to abandon God! The only reason for disease, pain, sadness, depression, etc. is due to the opposing evil forces working against God in an attempt to destroy our relationship and reliance on God. God is good; only God is good. Be careful, we need to be able to recognize evil and we only get that intuition from God (the Holy Spirit) who gives wisdom and discernment. Evil forces are deceiving, why do you think Paul said to put on the armor of God? Evil spiritual forces will appear enticing, to lure us in, and then after “the lure,” they destroy us. It’s like fishing bait, where we are the fish that gets fried if we can’t discern. That is the truth.

Bad things happen to good people for two reasons, found in the bible: 1) as a consequence to our own sin that we choose or 2) if God allows it to test us, to test our trust in God, our relationship with God. You may have heard this: “Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” well that is the truth, and God does that to strengthen us. God could end our life, if He wanted to, but when He doesn’t, He wants us to be strengthened by that experience. We also have to remember or understand from the bible: God will RESTORE anything that is taken from us in the testing of us; this grows our faith in God. Read the book of Job if you want to understand this. This may happen in our life on earth, but it may also be reserved for eternity. Read about future blessings here. We need to trust God and have patience.

OUR PARENTS

I just comprehended this after studying the Bible. All of us are “adopted” in a sense. Our true parent, the one who created us, the one who enabled our parents to produce us, is God. We are His children. Our parents are ultimately given a purpose, from God, to raise us and to introduce us to God, to encourage us to seek God, to share the knowledge of God. And God gives our parents the choice in how they do it and if they choose to do it. Just like anything else, some are good at the job and others aren’t good at the job God gave them. But God knows parents are not perfect and He knows when a parent is trying their best or if they are not trying at all; that’s between God and that person but it doesn’t make any child less loved by God, if that child didn’t have parents who encouraged. God makes each child for a reason and with a purpose. The purpose, as we learn from the bible, is ultimately helping others so that others will enjoy God’s future Kingdom and will not be deceived by the evil spiritual forces and lose out on what God has planned for His children (us). Here is an example from the book of Jeremiah, the prophet. Get to know God personally, then help others to know God, to know the Truth.

PARENTING

If we truly comprehend the truth in the paragraph above, we will realize this is why abortion is so wrong. In an abortion, we are destroying a child that God thought of and has plans for, the child God created for a purpose. God can bring good from bad. So even if the physical connection between the parents was “bad”, trust God, seek God, God can do amazing things with that child and with us. Don’t forget that Rahab, the prostitute, was part of Jesus’ ancestry/lineage. So can good come from “bad”? Yes, Jesus was a descendant and proves this. Jesus also said there will be prostitutes entering God’s kingdom ahead of the people who know God’s word, appear religious, keep the commandments, but whose hearts are far from God. (Of course the prostitutes in this example are the ones who realize what they have done, ask God for forgiveness and change their ways; God forgives.) Remember: God forgives easier than people do; He knows what’s in our hearts.

God is our parent, he gives us guidelines to follow, but as rebellious children, we don’t listen to Him. Starting with marriage; God tells people in the bible to not intermarry with “foreign” people- this has NOTHING to do with race or nationality! This is about individuals priorities: who or what is their priority? It should be God. God is warning people that life WILL be more difficult if we don’t follow his guidelines. If one person has God as their priority and the other doesn’t, that is going to be a rough road ahead. He warns because often the person who doesn’t have God as their priority slowly turns the God focused person away from God. If you want examples of this, look at what happened in Solomon’s life, in Samson’s life, in the book of Ezra (these people took drastic measures to avoid separation from God), and those a just a few examples, there are many more. It’s ultimately about getting separated from God and loosing eternity with God (by our own choice) when we choose a partner who does not have God as a priority. History repeats, don’t think that this won’t happen today; it does. The bible is there to help us, not harm us. There is an eternity and it is one of two outcomes: 1. With God or 2. Without God.

“What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” Matthew 16:26 (Jesus’ words)

“Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters. 24 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ 25 When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order.26Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.” (Jesus’ words of warning) Luke 11 This is scary, concerning and further evidence of this spiritual war that is happening.

Read all these verses in this link about Children. Tying this into the beginning of this article; God tells us in the bible, the first book of Genesis: there is an evil spiritual seed/offspring. How do you think this happens? By uniting with someone who has evil residing in them. This doesn’t mean that it is hopeless because you have to remember that Jesus is more powerful than evil, Jesus saves and Jesus can defeat this evil spiritual force, if we seek him, call upon Him. God is faithful and merciful. Despite our shortcomings and mistakes, He ultimately loves us and wants us back. Connect with God in prayer and He will rescue a person in this situation! Last night I came across this (visit the links for the details), “Ahab” kept showing up in my reading, Ahab was connected/married to Jezebel and when you read the bible about them, that is the worst combination, look what happens to their descendants, how their character is described in these verses: “did evil”. And notice their fate too. God wants to save His children from this. Jesus is how we are saved from this; seek Jesus.

JESUS

Getting back to the initial verse in Genesis: “And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring (seed) and hers; he will crush (strike) your head, and you will strike his heel.” Genesis 3:15

Jesus is the one that crushes the serpent/Satan’s head and Satan continually tried/tries to strike Jesus.

There are so many things the bible tells us about Jesus. He is the most powerful, and will defeat all of this evil as we are told through prophecies. Check out the numerous verses in this link.

Summary: Seek Jesus for any and all of your needs. It is only through Jesus that we will overcome the evil spiritual forces that attack and surround our broken world.

Please share this with others who may benefit in knowing this. In doing so, you may help others enjoy God’s future Kingdom.

by Categories: Dating, Face Fear, FAITH, FAMILY, God, Improvement, Love, Make It Count, Marriage, parenting, Parents, priorities, RELATIONSHIPS, SexTags: , , , , Leave a comment

Love and Lust

What’s the difference? It’s hard to differentiate today because these words are used interchangeably every day. It’s interesting when you think about it, for as long as people have existed (historically), we still don’t have this understanding clearly represented in our culture, so confusion passes from generation to generation. Personally, I think this confusion is intentional. “Hindsight is always 20/20”, isn’t it? Things are so much clearer looking back, than in the moment. If you want love, this will be worth your time reading. But for those “satisfied” by lust, don’t bother reading any further; this isn’t meant for you to see, that is unless “death” is something you don’t welcome.

Hindsight: There is an easier way to live, but most of us want to do it our own way and ignore wisdom. Instead we often listen to others who don’t have wisdom. The advice from others who don’t have wisdom is harmful and really where did they get this authority to give advice anyway? Is it really good advice? What makes them the expert in comparison to wisdom? There are so many opinions about everything, who can we trust? Who is looking out for us, protecting us, caring for us? Is this person looking for a “cohort in crime” or giving truthful advice? Is this person truly concerned about our future, our well being?

If we learn the difference between love and lust by others’ examples or our own experience, there is no doubt, it will be a long bumpy road ahead for us. But if we listen to, learn from and act upon wisdom provided almost 2,000 years ago, we can reduce these painful experiences starting now. Wisdom is found in the Bible, from God, who has authority over all.

Did you know the book of Revelation covers this subject (love and lust)? When I mentioned “hindsight” earlier, what better “hindsight” can a person have than seeing what is prophesized in the future and acting on it now?

 Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.

Revelation 1:3

I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling.

Revelation 2:21

But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

Revelation 21:8

Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.

Revelation 21:27

 “Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city.

Revelation 22:14

Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.  “I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you[a] this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star.”

Jesus, Revelation 22:15-16

Read it for yourself. I don’t know of anyone who has read the Bible, seeking to learn something from it and hasn’t changed their life. Revelation 22:14 symbolically illustrates this with the phrase: “wash their robes” meaning a change in the way they live, becoming a follower of Jesus so that they may have eternal life “right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city.”

Not only did Paul write so many letters addressing sexual immorality to various people (Corinthians, Thessalonians, Ephesians, Galatians) and every one of the gospel authors address this (Matthew, Mark, Luke- the book of Acts, and John) but this is Jesus, himself, telling us this fact about who will not be with him in eternity (Revelation 22:15-16) I don’t know about you, but for me, this was impactful and life changing. There is so much in this statement to comprehend: “magic arts” (those involved in sorcery, witchcraft), sexually immoral (from the original Greek biblical translation, it is the word “pornos” meaning (male) prostitute, fornicator, whoremonger), murderers, idolaters (an image worshipper- literally or figuratively), falsehood (lies or lying).

Regarding falsehood, lies that are taught under the “grace” of our God, pay attention to what Jude (Jesus’ half brother and James’ brother) tells us (don’t be misled):

For certain individuals whose condemnation was written about long ago have secretly slipped in among you. They are ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord.

Jude 1:4

In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.

Jude 1:7

Getting back to “Love and Lust”: Look up fornication in the regular dictionary and you will find this definition: 1. voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons or two persons not married to each other 1. Bible: idolatry (the religious worship of idols or excessive or blind adoration, reverence, devotion, etc.)

In Lust, a person serves as an “idol” to us. Lust is an excellent example of selfishness and self gratification. Selfishness is not love. Living a life in lust is actually going against God’s 1st and 2nd commandments that were given to us as well as God’s 7th and 10th commandments. Lust can possibly break 4 commandments at one time!

In Love, a person acts selflessly. Love exhibits certain characteristics that are not present in lust: patience, kindness, supports justice, never gives up, is hopeful, endures through all circumstances, is gentle and maintains self-control.

So if you struggle with lust, the best thing to do is to seek to know God (through the bible and prayer), and seek God’s help (ask for the Holy Spirit’s strength). God wants us in eternity, so God will help. God needs to become your/our priority, if He isn’t already. God needs to be our priority above every human being we know. After you/we do this, make God our number one priority, we will be prepared for the future. This is the most important thing for every person: make God your priority. Eternal life is promised for those who do, there are unimaginable beautiful things prepared by God for those who make God their priority. Learn more about it, it’s worth it. We came into this world naked…what do you think we take with us?

One of my favorite teachers is Dr. Tim Keller who has the “Gospel in Life” Podcast, this entire month of May 2021, his podcasts were focused on marriage (purpose, meaning, commitment) and is worth listening to whether you are single or married; he gives such great clarity on this topic. Click here to get to his podcast page. One of the points Dr. Keller makes is that unless we make God our priority, we will be too demanding of anyone in our life, our expectations will be too high. God is love, if we want love in our life, we need God above anyone/anything else. The purpose and reason for marriage is companionship but we have to remember that God created this “union” and it was never His intention that this union replace God (if the companion is an idol to us).

The bible contains so much wisdom, if we only accept what it tells us. This book is thousands of pages long and repeats the same messages over and over again through different individuals. Pay attention before it’s too late.

From Revelation 22 (the invitation and the warning) and the last verse is so relevant (we need God’s grace):

12 “Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done. 13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

14 “Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. 15 Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.

16 “I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you[a] this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star.”

17 The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let the one who hears say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life.

18 I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. 19 And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll.

20 He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon.”

Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.

21 The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people. Amen.

by Categories: Dating, FAITH, FAMILY, Following Passions, FRIENDSHIP, God, HAPPINESS, Improvement, Love, Make It Count, Marriage, priorities, RELATIONSHIPS, Sex, WellnessTags: , Leave a comment

While Single, think about this…

I’ve been wanting to write about this for a few years but have held back for many reasons, or have lightly touched on this topic in some of the first blogs I wrote because it’s a very sensitive subject and people have strong personal opinions and views of this. I hope what I write reaches at least one person and gives something to think about, then has a positive impact. “Life Lessons” is an appropriate summary.

I know you may not agree with this right away, but I’ve learned the hard way (from experience) so I think it’s true:

We keep receiving the same lessons in life until we learn from them.

Whoever is single right now will probably agree with this statement: there are a lot of messed up people out there. (LOL) But the irony in that statement is we all are a little messed up and in different stages of life. Different stages of life meaning: emotional maturity and spiritual maturity. This is really a personal issue, not always necessarily a “someone else” issue. If we are emotionally immature we may say it’s someone else’s issue, but it truly does start with taking an honest look at ourselves and realizing areas where we could be a better person (how an emotionally mature person would view it).

Some people become more laid back, easy going, the older they get, but some can be in their 90’s and still emotionally immature, so age doesn’t always guarantee emotional maturity, only physical maturity. I have seen how growing in spiritual maturity helps a person grow in emotional maturity and the opposite of that too: how someone who is not growing in spiritual maturity often lacks emotional maturity.

Love being single:

There are some people who enjoy being single, love the freedom and don’t want the obligation of a commitment. If a person truly stays single, only has friendships (without the ‘benefits’) that’s a choice and there is nothing wrong with that.

Claims to love being single:

There are those who claim to want to remain single, love the freedom, but then pursue someone, become involved with a person, or multiple people, then wreak havoc in other(s) lives. Someone who does this is not emotionally or spiritually mature and will continually be unsatisfied with life, constantly seeking happiness, but only finding fleeting moments, then frustration. And because those moments don’t last perpetually, it’s a lifetime cycle of this. (This is a selfish person)

Love being in a relationship:

There are some people who constantly need to be in a relationship. They feel insecure alone, so they jump from one “committed” relationship to another. Again, this person isn’t emotionally or spiritually mature to be comfortable being “single” so this person is very “needy” to the other person and exhausts them. This person is using the other person. (This is a selfish person)

Casual relationships:

There are some people who take a very casual approach to relationships. They just want the “high” they get from physical pleasure, and are truly never satisfied for very long. I don’t think emotionally mature is an accurate description of this, emotionally “numb” better describes it and also spiritually immature. (These are selfish people)

In all but the first example, a person typically ends up frustrated, or heartbroken, depending on which end you’re on. From experience, I believe before a person starts dating, it’s best to first work on spiritual maturity (which automatically grows emotional maturity), if you want to have a healthy/good relationship with someone someday.

The most important choice we will make in life is to choose God or reject God because that choice has eternal consequences. Everything else is temporary. If we choose God; He must be THE priority in our life.

I made mistakes in life. I didn’t do things this way, but life could have been a lot better if I had the order right from the start.

Start with God, seek Him in personal prayer, read and study the bible (know what’s in it), then make a decision: do you want what it offers? (How to get to Heaven) Do you believe it? If you believe, then ask God to take over EVERYTHING in your life, literally let go of control (we don’t really have control anyway) and give it to God. Basically, this means getting rid of pride, surrendering to God. Once you truly comprehend and believe, you will appreciate what Jesus did and you’ll want to show appreciation. God wants us to show our appreciation (love) by choosing to obey the 10 Commandments. At the same time, God knows we won’t be perfect at this, but He sees our true “hidden” intentions. If we choose to obey, God is forgiving when our intentions are good but we realize we made a mistake and ask for forgiveness and try again to do things better next time. If we choose to obey the Commandments, we can also ask God for the Holy Spirit’s power in helping us keep them. (These recommendations are not my personal thoughts, this is a summary from reading the bible.)

Once you have this knowledge, I am absolutely certain you will view life differently. It will cause you to view ALL relationships differently. The bible is a resource for living life; there are answers to the most important questions in life in it. It will help you become a better person, understand what love is, how to show love, it will help you identify and avoid red flags in people, it will prepare you for marriage (if that is your future intent) and knowing God will bring about a hard to explain “peace” when you wouldn’t have that “peace” without God. This is one of those experiences that can’t be explained, until you feel it for yourself. Don’t waste your time while you are single with meaningless activity; use it to improve your future life (and others). God gives blessings to those who will be blessings to others.

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