The past few weeks I’ve been posting on social media, on either Instagram or this blog, a summary of a Sunday message from church. This past Sunday, the subject was “Trust & Obey.” And yes, the second part is the hardest part, at least for me it is. This post is not a summary of the message, except for the Title, so if you want to hear it for yourself, click here. The next few paragraphs are my self-reflection on this subject.
I realized over time that I’ve had a strong faith, trust, in God throughout my life, even though I participated in different churches along the way. I struggled to truly fit in at any prior church, but, in this past year I found that I connect most with Christian non-denomination. For me, it’s because I believe that many Christian religions have commonality relating back to the Bible, but differences in interpretation and those differences in interpretation sometimes feel extreme to me so it was hard for me to fit in at different churches in the past. This is a continually evolving experience for me and I intend to learn more as I proceed, but I finally feel comfortable at the Christian non-denomination church I’m attending, The Crossing. The accepting and welcoming of all people from all backgrounds, religions, (even people who don’t believe in Christ are welcomed) is part of why I’ve continued attending; this appeals to me most at this church. Accepting people as they are, but providing the means and opportunity, through the Bible teachings, to change, improve, take our relationship to the next level, in a non-judgmental way is how I believe God would want us to treat one another. This doesn’t mean that anything we choose to do is okay or accepted, not at all, our recommended way of life is based on what is in the bible. Acceptance means wherever our starting point is, it’s okay, even though it can be a very different place for each of us.
Wow! So true, this is the part where anxiety sets in for me. Rules and obeying are something that I’ve struggled with to be honest. I’ve always found a way to bend the rules a little because I’ve felt that rules are too rigid and not flexible enough for real life situations. If I had to estimate, I would guess I follow rules 80% of the time and don’t follow rules 20% of the time. Maybe the 80 percent would be a little higher, but I definitely struggle with rules, because I don’t see things as “black and white”; I see a lot of things as “gray” where different viewpoints have validity. Obviously this must be my next area to focus on growth and improvement in “obeying”.
I wasn’t going to share this, but it is relevant: earlier this year, I made, what I think will be, a life altering change. I decided that I’m exhausted and confused trying to figure out life and haven’t always made the best decisions in hindsight, even though I felt like the decisions were appropriate at the time. I give up! I’ve had good intentions and I’m not saying that I haven’t made any good decisions, because I believe I’ve made quite a few good decisions, and more good than bad decisions too. But I still struggle with the bad decisions and don’t want to make more bad decisions if it can be avoided. So because of my strong faith, I actually prayed asking Christ to take over my decisions in life, to lead me in the right direction. I don’t know how this year will unfold, but I’m documenting things along the way, being honest about the good and the bad that happen around me and I intend to publish it at the end of the year, 2017. All I will say right now is that initially after I prayed this, things improved, but then things began to fall apart and not go the way I preferred, but I’m sticking with this. I believe I will learn something from this experience and share it later.