We’ve all been there, on both sides, the giving or the receiving of a certain kind of “help” and I bet we can all relate to the frustrations that accompany it too. Beginning as a toddler, we often hear “I do it” from them; and that doesn’t seem to change with age either, we all still want to do it. We generally don’t look for help, because if we look for help, that damages our egos. So then, when help is offered, we reject the help.
THE GIVING SIDE- OFFERING HELP
Avoiding frustration is easy if we recognize that we can’t change anyone but ourselves. We often think that “our way” is the better way to do something, but is it? We all learn from others because each person has unique qualities, strengths, talents and gifts; so “our way” isn’t necessarily the best. We can offer resources so the person can help themselves, if they want it. The resources allow the person to help themselves and build confidence by accomplishing something on their own. So don’t be frustrated if someone doesn’t accept help, understand that is a possibility before we offer it and accept that first, before offering help.
THE RECEIVING SIDE OF HELP
When someone offers “help” we need to be honest with ourselves and decide whether we really need “help” and if we do, then we need to take action. We were not born “all knowing”; we need accept that we are “life learners”. There is always something new to learn in life, it never stops. We learn from people of all walks of life, different cultures, ages, education, etc. there are no rules: old can learn from young and young can learn from old, the rich can learn from the poor and the poor can learn from the rich, basically anything opposite gives us a learning opportunity. We learn from experiences and we all have different life experiences, so we all learn from each other.
If we accept help, then we need to remember that what we do with the help/the resource we receive is up to us. Our future success or failure is our responsibility and depends on how we take action or inaction. There is no one but ourselves who is responsible for our success in life. There are people who are tremendously successful who will be the first to say “I’m not the brightest, but I was able to get bright people to help me” and then created massive success. So in the public eye, the “not so bright person” ends up being the genius!
RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS and “HELP”
We will all save ourselves time, frustration and pain if we remember to:
- Accept people as we are; don’t expect change, it typically doesn’t happen.
- Be authentic, be true, don’t pretend to be someone we are not, don’t ever change to “fit in”; only change if it is important to ourselves and our values in life.
- Be honest.