Tag: self-centered

Should We Trust our Feelings?

Should we trust our feelings? My guess is anyone reading that question will have a number of reactions, such as: “YES!!!!“or “NOOO!!!!” or “I have no idea; I’m confused, help!” So what is the Truth? How do we know which answer is the correct one? These answers are provided below.

  1. Should we always trust our feelings? The Truth is NO.

2. Are there times we should trust our feelings? YES. Then, when? See below.

3. What if we are confused? How can we determine the correct answer? See below.

When Trusting your Feelings is Wrong:

Let’s be honest. Since the day we were born, we started out selfish, self-centered, right? All of us were born that way. If and when we grow and mature (emotionally, not in years), we become less self centered/selfish, but it takes intention and effort to grow and mature, it doesn’t come naturally, just like growth in anything else (such as working out, eating healthy, growing a business, relationships) : “no pain, no gain.”

So a simple question to ask ourselves is: Is my feeling motivated by self-centeredness, selfishness? If the answer to this is “yes” then trusting your feelings is wrong. Spend time being honest with yourself about the answer to this question. Don’t lie to yourself, be honest.

When Trusting your Feelings is Right:

With the same question above, we can know if trusting our feelings is right. Is my feeling motivated by selflessness, driven by loving , contributing to or helping others? If the answer to this is “yes” then trusting your feelings is right.

What if the motivation behind the feeling is selfless, driven by love, contribution or helping others but FEAR is holding me back? Fear can a blocker to something good or it can be something that protects us. If the reason behind the fear has to do with a life or death situation then trust your fear! But if not, do not let fear guide you, it is BLOCKING YOU from growth. Say you are motivated for the right reasons and you don’t submit to fear, you proceed, then something doesn’t work out as you planned? That was still the right thing to do because it is growth. We grow when we go through tough times, we come out better! As many say: if we’re not growing, we’re dying! We can’t be doing neither, think about it. Don’t let the wrong kind of fear hold you back.

When your Feelings are Confusing you:

This is the hardest one! Confusion is telling us to: WAIT, HAVE PATIENCE, but most of all PRAY! If the answer isn’t clear after reading the above testing question to know if trusting our feelings is wrong or right, then our situation is more complicated (based on the bible, confusion occurs when unrepentant sin in involved) and we need may need forgiveness and guidance from God. Waiting does not mean do nothing, it means slow down, pause, be patient but take action in prayer right away. Talk to God about it from the deepest most honest, vulnerable part of ourselves. This is between you/me and God alone, no one else. God will give us clarity eventually. But don’t “do nothing” during this time of “waiting and patience” pray about it often until clarity is received, not “a feeling,” but unquestionable clarity. Confusion is due to sin, according to the Bible. So where do we get this clarity? From God’s word, the bible. This is the coolest, most awesome thing to discover! It seriously has all the answers to the complicated questions and it is the truth.

I wasn’t taught to go to the bible for answers to questions until recently. I didn’t use it as a resource (ever) quite honestly, but once I discovered this, I am so thankful because it answers so many questions. Today, there is no excuse for not having this resource, if you have access to the internet. Some of the bible is hard to understand the first time reading. To truly know the meaning behind a quote you see, you need to read it in context so you get the full understanding. Even when you do that for the first time, there may be questions. This is where other people can help. Not necessarily by giving their interpretation of the bible, but by directing us to other passages that answer our questions. Be VERY cautious of people who interpret the Bible, don’t take their word, but ask questions, pray about it, then you will know. There are many people today who give their opinions, don’t trust “opinions” only trust facts. Facts are found by reading the bible and through prayer. Many people are misguided but can be convincing so they will give us the wrong information and lead us down a path of destruction. Sometimes people truly have good intentions, but are still not correct. Look for answers in the bible and through prayer.

I hope considering these simple questions helps. I’ve added resources and references next:

RESOURCES

A few different FREE online bible resources (check them out to see what you like best):

Selfishness “Wisdom” from the Bible:

THE “RIGHT” FEELINGS TO FOLLOW ARE MOTIVATED BY SELFLESSNESS AND LOVE- FROM THE BIBLE:

FEAR ADDRESSED IN THE BIBLE:

HOW TO DEAL WITH CONFUSION AND TIMES OF CONFUSION (CAUSED BY SIN) – FROM THE BIBLE:

FIRST SEEK GOD – FROM THE BIBLE:

by Categories: Dating, Face Fear, FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP, God, Improvement, Letting Go, Love, Make It Count, Marriage, priorities, RELATIONSHIPSTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

One Change: making a Difference

This “change” has been on my mind for days now, so I’m giving in and writing about it. There are countless books on “Do This” subject matter for those seeking personal improvement. But it wasn’t until I was listening to a podcast, that I truly absorbed the enormity of this realizing this ONE, singular, simple change makes all the difference in literally EVERY relationship we have (family, friends, business, and even strangers)! And it’s a personal change I can make and you can make and once the change is made, it will impact however many people we interact with throughout life: the count could be thousands, millions or billions of people impacted! It’s not easy; but it IS SIMPLE! A simple concept, similar to golf: one that takes continual effort to master the skill; it requires daily, realistically every minute focus, to change and improve, because it’s not natural, but it can make a difference INSTANTLY when applied.

What is it? Changing our mindset from being self-centered and selfish to selfless. I loved this clever statement when I heard it: “being selfless requires thinking of my self LESS” by Rick Warren (link).

Immediately upon stating this, I realize there are some selfless people who are used or abused by others. While everyone should be selfless, there are abusive situations where avoiding or removing yourself from a situation like that is the right thing to do. The book of Proverbs is a source for wisdom about this. It is written: “do not associate with…” In an abusive situation, remember that God values YOU and you do not deserve abuse. God rescued people from abusive situations: The Israelites from slavery in Egypt, Joseph from his abusive brothers, Paul from bondage in prison, Peter from prison, to name a few examples and rescued all of us from something even worse, eternal death, through Jesus Christ.

This is more than relevant this week, because this week is Holy Week , it started this past Sunday and leads to the ultimate act of selfLESSness by anyone ever: Jesus’ death on the cross, offering his own life as a sacrifice for all of our sins, making it possible for every single person to have eternal life with God.

Why “a sacrifice” of physical death was ever a solution to remove sin still leaves me with many questions, especially when something/someone innocent was used as the sacrifice. This is ultimately a law of the Universe, but it doesn’t seem to fulfill justice when innocent die so I still struggle with that. I could understand why those who do wrong could be punished (from a justice viewpoint), but not the innocent, especially as a sacrifice. I think there is more to this “law” than we will know while we are living.

Sacrifice is not something any of us WANT to do, we want to avoid it, if at all possible, even in a minimal way (when our comfort is challenged). But self sacrifice is the ultimate expression of love. When we let go of something we want for the benefit of others or when we give up something for the benefit of others, we are self sacrificing, being self LESS; we are being Christlike. So the life sacrifice that Jesus made proves God’s love for all people. Prior to Jesus’ sacrifice, innocent animals were used for this horrible sacrifice, but God was not pleased by those sacrifices and Jesus was the final solution to end this. (this link explains it more)

Many of us have heard the story of Holy Week and Easter, but we’ve heard it so many times, it loses the impact today, for some. It is so “distant,” so long ago, today it becomes Easter eggs and candy, but this year it will be different. Maybe this is our opportunity to really contemplate the significance of this week? The significance of what Jesus did: This season’s MOST IMPORTANT meaning to ALL of us. To be thankful, that Jesus didn’t eternally die and that death isn’t “forever” for those of us who believe!

Jesus rose from his physical death (witnessed by others living at the time and documented in the Bible) to prove to us there is life after death; death is not to be feared, there is a future beyond our physical death and it is a future worth preparing.

Truly comprehending what Jesus did for us makes any of our sacrifices seem small in comparison. But also, it gives me reason for introspection: am I being selfish, self-centered, or self LESS in living my life? This is one mindset change that will make a tremendous difference for both others (now) and our eternity (later).

Wishing you a Happy Easter and hoping we all change for the better this year!

by Categories: FAITH, Improvement, Love, Make It Count, RELATIONSHIPSTags: , , , , , Leave a comment