Tag: purpose

2019 – Making God the Priority

2 am this morning and I wake up like it’s time to get prepared for the day, except it’s not! But a clear thought was in my head:

“All action eventually leads to a result – based on the priority we give it.”

If you review the titles of my prior blogs, you will see they are a journal of life events over the past four years (since 2016), searching for happiness and life purpose, leading to change along the way. In hindsight, the past four years went by so quickly but I’m not yet where I want to be in life. I hesitated in writing anything reflecting on 2019 because I can only describe it as one of the most challenging years of my life in almost every aspect (everything I prioritized in life was in turmoil); the positive highlights are the only things I posted on social media.

Having my priorities in life in turmoil, led me to the darkest time of my life, so dark that I was truly ready for my life to be over which further complicated my life by paralyzing my ability to accomplish anything that was a priority to me. Before I scare anyone I know reading this, I do not believe in suicide and that was never an option for me: I believe only God holds that authority to end a life; not us. A few who are closest to me suggested seeing a counselor to get through this, which I did, but was ineffective for me unfortunately. I wanted help getting through this time in my life, but it didn’t happen from the outside, so I stopped. But I knew that I needed help. It was finally at this point when I truly gave up on everything and tried one more way for help: I thought: if God created everything, He can do the impossible; then He is the only way I will get through this.

My first realization: While I was partially focused on changing my way of living, I wasn’t completely. Looking back to something I wrote years ago (2017) about Trust and Obey shows my resistance to obedience. As I’ve heard before: we keep experiencing the same results until we learn the lesson. And 2019 was living proof that it’s not enjoyable continuing the lessons, it’s easier to be obedient to God’s commands.

My second realization: I was still putting other things/sources before God; I wasn’t completely trusting God to make the significant changes in my life.

I started reading the bible, obsessed with trying to gain wisdom and understanding from the bible to get through this time because it was my only hope. While reading it, I realized I never truly “Surrendered to God” like I thought I did a couple years ago. I believed I surrendered, when I asked God to guide me, but I was still living how I wanted to live and doing everything based on my own feelings. After reading the bible, it became clear: I needed to change the way I was living. I read about peace, joy, contentment, no anxiety, no worries in all times of life, but I wasn’t experiencing that and didn’t understand why it wasn’t happening for me, when so many wrote about that experience in the bible? I needed that.

It was when I paid attention to a certain detail in the bible that I found the answer. There were people who were baptized by someone, but didn’t receive the Spirit of God. I know this is an “out there” kind of statement for many people, but it’s in the bible and I have faith. Here are the supporting verses from the bible:

“because the Holy Spirit had not yet come on any of them; they had simply been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus” Acts 8:16 NIV

“For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit” Acts 1:5 NIV

“Then I remembered what the Lord had said: ‘John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.‘ Acts 11:16 NIV

“Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 28;19 NLT

John the Baptist baptized people in preparation for Jesus, this baptism was for repentance (deep sorrow for a past sin, wrongdoing, regret for past action), but the Holy Spirit is what people need for guidance, strength and true life change.

“I didn’t know he was the one, but when God sent me to baptize with water, he told me, ‘The one on whom you see the Spirit descend and rest is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.’ John 1:33 NLT

“As Jesus came up out of the water, he saw the heavens splitting apart and the Holy Spirit descending on him like a dove.” Mark 1:10 NLT

“I baptize with water those who repent of their sins and turn to God. But someone is coming soon who is greater than I am- so much greater that I’m not worthy even to be his slave and carry his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.” Matthew 3:11 NLT

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness” Galatians 5:22 NLT

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere- in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8 NLT

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 NLT

“So you received the message with joy from the Holy Spirit in spite of the severe suffering it brought you. In this way, you imitated both us and the Lord.” 1 Thessalonians 1:16 NLT

“But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true- it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.” 1 John 2:27 NLT

“So how does a person become filled with the Holy Spirit?” was my next question.

“He is the Holy Spirit, who leads to all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you.” John 14:17 NLT

“Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” Acts 2:38 NLT

When we live our lives as Jesus showed by his actions and advice (turning away from sin), we are able to receive the Holy Spirit.

“Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Ephesians 5:18 NLT

“But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)” Romans 8:9 NLT

“And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.” Ephesians 4:30 NLT

Changing the way we live:

“With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God-truly righteous and holy. So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. ‘And don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them…Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4: 17 -32

My third realization: Even though 2019 was one of my worst years ever, it brought me closer to God.

My fourth realization: This is something else that I found throughout the bible: God uses hardships to draw people closer to Him – that must be what has been happening in my life. There are numerous examples and stories in the bible about this.

My fifth realization (this morning):

“All action eventually leads to a result – based on the priority we give it.”

Seeking God daily by listening to encouraging, motivational bible derived messages that apply to every day living (click for a resource I access) (website) or reading something from the bible that’s relevant to a feeling I’m experiencing through this app (click here) appears to be making a difference for me: I truly am much more at peace with life even when it’s not easy, I have more patience, calmness, almost no anxiety, even though I should based on circumstances, I don’t have it, I trust that God will take care of it, if I do what is right. And after I started changing my ways, truly unexpected numerous good things began happening in my life.

This experience made me realize that God needs to remain THE priority in my life. This is wisdom from the bible: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33

by Categories: Face Fear, FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP, HAPPINESS, Improvement, Love, Make It Count, RELATIONSHIPS, WellnessTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

What is my (our) Purpose in Life?

About five years ago, this question became more important to me: “What is my purpose in life?”

(To be honest, this question was lingering in me, unrecognized as a teenager too, but I never put much thought into it. I would make decisions about my future when I felt like I was running out of time, and had to choose something, then I’d quickly make a decision, go with it, figuring out how to make it work over time.)

As time passed, I truly wanted to know the answer because I felt like there had to be more to life. I felt like I had been wasting time, and didn’t want to continue this way, so I started searching for the answer. I can remember thinking: “We can’t just be here to eat, sleep, and do whatever it is that keeps us busy during the day and night?” There should be something more important, more meaningful in life, than “existing and taking up space:” a Purpose.

I finally stumbled upon the answer to this question in the Bible:

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

So the answer is: God created each of us with a specific purpose to fulfill. But when we find an answer like this, let’s be honest: “Who is looking to do MORE work and have MORE responsibilities than we already have?” Probably not many, UNLESS the REWARD is worth it, right? So is the reward worth it? YES! For this answer to be personally true, meaningful and understood for each of us, it requires a relevant context, because without that, we are probably not interested.

So why is this information relevant to each and every person?

It is relevant because it affects our future: what happens to us and is something that only we, personally, can direct, through our daily choices. To receive the reward, we must have faith in Jesus, however we will be judged on our faith through our actions (our works and obeying the Ten Commandments). “Faith without works is dead.” James 2:14-26

So why would we trust what the Bible has to say?

The information in the Bible is from God, our creator, Who speaks only in truth, and reveals some of the mysterious aspects of our existence through the Bible about what is happening and why it is happening. The Bible is an historical book providing reasons why some events took place, giving proof of God through miraculous events, prophesies that came true and through living proof when Jesus was present on earth and teaching, died and rose from the dead. All of this was done to help us, strengthen us and for God to see what choice we will make once we find out and learn about this. (Think about this: Have you ever evaluated a relationship to see if it was worthwhile? That’s what God’s doing with us: He’s giving us a choice about a relationship with Him.)

The Bible is like an “open book test”: the answers are there, but will we seek them and then apply them to be successful? What we are experiencing in our lives right now is something more significant in process: it is a test with a significant reward (heaven/eternal life), if we are successful and horrible consequences (hell) if we fail. So this is why it is important to know what’s in the Bible and apply what we learn.

This is personal: the best way to get answers to our individual questions is by reading the Bible and praying for the understanding of what we read, because this is how God communicates with us; God will provide clarity, directly to each of us when we are looking for answers in the Bible and through prayer. Seek God first in everything. (Matthew 6:33)

So getting back to our purpose in life, I wondered: We were created to do what specific “good works”?

Doing these “good works” and obeying is evidence of our Faith, which is required to receive God’s reward and our life right now is a TEST. The day-to-day “worldly” things that we experience and worry about are truly UNIMPORTANT and INSIGNIFICANT when we understand the high level reason we were created and what we should have our focus. There is so much to focus on in life, but if we make God the priority and focus in our minds, everything else will fall into place. That’s why the Bible tells us not to worry: God provides what we need in support of His plan for us. (Side note: this also explains the reason for some unanswered prayers.) This also requires faith; we have to have faith in God to really believe that He provides, but little by little as our faith grows, we start seeing this come true, which grows our faith.

Getting back to “good works” I also found this answer:

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” Romans 12:6

The gifts, given by God for the purpose God determined when He created us, are:

  1. Prophesying: boldly proclaiming God’s word
  2. Serving: physical and spiritual help provided to others
  3. Teaching: applying information from the Bible in a clear, accurate and understanding way to others
  4. Encouraging: motivating others to take action and fulfill their purpose
  5. Giving: providing material and financial resources to others
  6. Leading: various Leadership Roles
  7. Showing Mercy: comforting those in need

What gift is mine?

When we work using the specific gift we were created for, our actions happen with ease, we are comfortable and enjoy what we are doing, using the gift feels natural to us, personally. The specific gift we were given is also something that others will notice in us, and likely tell us we seem so “natural” in our actions when operating in that way.

Life is complicated, but the overall simple goal and purpose for us is to Love. Love God and each other.

In summary: God created each of us for a specific purpose of His, and provides us unique gifts to fulfill His plan; which also means every person is very important and is here for a reason!

by Categories: Dating, entrepreneur, Face Fear, FAITH, FAMILY, Following Passions, FRIENDSHIP, HAPPINESS, Improvement, Letting Go, Love, Make It Count, RELATIONSHIPS, WellnessTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The Game of Life

Here we are in this game called “life.”

The stakes are high, but we are told a lie:

“It doesn’t matter if you win or loose; everyone gets a prize.”

This strategy works well for all those “lost”: “quit trying,” but “quit trying” really costs.

So many get side tracked and really don’t care, but they don’t know what their future will bear.

“A prize for all”, what’s wrong with that?

But the prize is a “surprise!” and the value: “not all that.”

So moves go unnoticed, while the strategy plays out. Winners think they’re winning, until the game’s figured out.

Everyone loves an underdog to win, and this game of “life” is where it begins.

The least expected will figure it out, but goes unnoticed, because they have no clout.

Attention is on the star players who trained, but little did they know: they weren’t given the reins.

The underdog appears defeated and dismissed ‘til the rules of the game shine through the mist.

The rules of the game are not what they thought, and the strategy itself is not what was taught.

We are pawns in a game, til we figure it out; it’s not what we expect, there is no doubt.

God wins.

by Categories: ImprovementTags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Being “called”

Have you ever heard someone say “I was called to …”? I have before, and often thought with a bit of skepticism and doubt: “How did THAT happen?” when I heard someone say that. A little concern about “brain wash,” or “over compensating” to be honest.

Does that happen “magically” one day? How does one know that is happening? Is the person saying this to make themselves seem important or special? What’s the ulterior motive in this? Are they going to be judging me now because of this? then…I don’t know if I can relate to them anymore…

I can’t tell you what it is like for others, but I can tell you what this is like for me and the only reason I’m writing this is because maybe this is happening to you and you don’t recognize it? Because I didn’t. I was opposite of “that” person who received a calling (I never knew what my purpose was, or what I should be doing); just an average “normal” person. But something in me is changing over time, for years in fact, VERY gradually. So gradually, that I didn’t recognize it was happening, until now.

How did it start?

Hindsight always makes everything clearer. As a child, I learned about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit. I learned how to pray. I believed in what I was taught and off and on, randomly, throughout life at various times, I prayed but not consistently. I always seemed to keep my belief, but the belief was often buried and personal and I lived a “normal” life.

How did it progress?

  • My conscience. My inner conscience would conflict with the way I was living and as I struggled with the conflict, I would make gradual changes, a little at a time. I made bad decisions and then suffered the consequences, over and, over and, over again! There is a quote about change:

CHANGE occurs when the PAIN of doing the same is GREATER than the FEAR/UNCOMFORTABLE process of CHANGE.

  • Other people in my life: mentors, those whom I respected influenced me: not by “preaching” to me; I didn’t want or need that, but by me paying attention to how they lived, by the example they gave, by their actions, not by their words and through the respect I had towards them. This contributed to my inner conscience tugging of knowing right from wrong. And honestly, those who were not living in a “biblical” way also had an influence on me: I could see the pain they brought into their lives by their actions, similar to my own pain. I wanted change, but didn’t know how.
  • Finding a church that felt welcoming. I participated in a few churches over the years, but always felt like an “outsider.” I believed in the biblical teachings, but didn’t get a good feeling/connected feeling from the people who were there. I didn’t fit in, so I didn’t participate fully. Years went by and because of a tragedy/death, I visited a non-denomination church, one that many people had suggested to me, but I didn’t even give it a chance; I thought it was “too different” from what I knew growing up. It was different, but why didn’t I realize the obvious: It WAS different, and all along I never felt like I connected anywhere else, so why did I resist trying something new? I was looking for something different! I don’t have the answer to that question, but do know that it took a tragedy to get me there; the year was 2015. I started going to church occasionally, then started getting more involved in exploring and understanding what this church was all about. I found a connection here. It was a non-denomination, Christian church, based on the direct teachings of the Bible and nothing else. Every question was answered with: “What does the bible tell us?”
  • Exploring the bible. This was something I never accomplished: reading the entire bible, and I still haven’t, but I found there are too many things that pointed me back to the Bible being the truth and knowing that various religions acknowledge what is in the Bible, but have different beliefs. For example, Jesus. I was amazed to find out that Muslims acknowledge that Jesus lived; but they do not believe He was the Son of God. I knew Jewish people felt the same, but also acknowledge Jesus’ existence. I also thought: how could this book survive over 2,000 years if there wasn’t a strong basis in truth that was passed on for generations? 2016 was the year of exploring this non-denomination church further and by 2017 I decided I needed to “Surrender to God” knowing that I needed change and wanting God to direct my life.

What happened during this change?

Well in my mind, I had the following expectations: once I “surrendered to God” my life would be peaceful, without pain and wonderful. I was wrong! Almost immediately bad things started happening in my life: personally, financially, relationally; some of the worst hardships I ever experienced. I struggled more than ever and I didn’t understand why this was happening, but I still had hope that I did the right thing, things would turn around and I kept faith in God to see me through all this. So then 2018 arrives and I’m still hopeful, there were many good things that happened that year, and I focused on the good, but the bad was still weighing heavily on me and I was still struggling. Then I was again hopeful about 2019, but 2019 was even harder than the prior two years that I thought were the worst I had experienced. Almost everything was going opposite of good and getting worse, not better. This was not the “story” I expected!

Reflection: In 2017, I considered getting baptized as an adult in this new church (even though I was Baptized as a child and Confirmed later- I went through the motions in doing this Confirmation, because that was what everyone else did. I recall my confirmation was a renewal of the baptism beliefs my parents said on my behalf and I still had those same beliefs, so I was Confirmed).

This “new” baptism commitment, that was offered and happening at this church, was different to me as an adult. To me, this meant if I did it, I am making a promise to God to live my life according to his commands, no loopholes, no excuses for behavior, no leniency. I decided in 2018, while I was changing for the better, I wasn’t ready to completely change and make that commitment. In 2019, I questioned it again: why I should consider being baptized, if I made the commitment personally to God, then why would I need to be so “public” with it? Is it for show? So I didn’t go through with it again.

During 2019, I started looking up things in the bible to gain knowledge and answers about questions I had. And I started reading a little here and there with the end goal eventually getting through the bible over time. Then one night before I went to bed, I decided to randomly open the bible and read whatever I opened, hoping that God would give me some insight into my life and struggles. Wow! So I opened it to the book of Job and started reading: It started with Satan telling God he could gain Job’s soul basically. Satan took control over Job’s life and destroyed everything about it, convinced that Job would reject God. The majority of the book was Job questioning why this was happening and why God was doing this to him (but God wasn’t, Job didn’t understand) when Job was living his life in accordance with God’s commands, bad was happening. He challenged God, was angry with God because he felt unjustifiably harmed, but maintained his faith and trust in God throughout all the bad that was happening in his life. His friends even thought he was being punished for doing wrong and told him he needed to repent and ask for forgiveness. As I was reading this, it’s a long book, I had to skip to the end because it was so depressing and it was making me even more sad, feeling like giving up. I could relate it to my life and how I was feeling about all the bad in it, I wanted to know how the story ended. I was glad to see in the end that God restored Job and Job’s life was even better than it had been in the past. The story taught hope through perseverance. That was what I needed.

Again in 2019, I found, exploring the Bible, more answers to questions I had, but again, these were not the answers that I wanted. They were answers that caused me even more pain, sadness and loss of hope. It was so painful to me that I decided to speak with a Pastor, which I did a couple times. And it was helpful, I gained insight into parts of the Bible I had not yet explored and it gave me hope once again.

At the same time, I talked to my sister, who has always been one of strong faith and she introduced me to a Bible app that she has used before and found beneficial. She texted me a link so I decided to download the app and explore what was in it. I was completely amazed at how much work went into creating this app and how effective this app is. Everything is from the Bible (you can choose what version you use; I use the NIV version) and there are reading plans for every question or situation you could imagine. You can search a word and it will find biblical passages or reading plans that relate to your interests or questions or situation. This is something so helpful, the app will audibly read the bible to you, so you can listen when you are driving, or before you go to bed, or anytime you need, or want it and it’s a resource you have with you all the time, because it’s on your phone. You can download it here: https://www.youversion.com/the-bible-app/

Conclusion.

I am still on this slow journey, but I do believe that God put people in my life and allowed things to happen in my life to bring me back, wake me up, make me change my ways and I am committed more than I’ve ever been to doing this. My story hasn’t finished, but I’m realizing through this series of events, that I am “being called” to make a change in my life.

by Categories: Face Fear, FAITH, Following Passions, HAPPINESS, Improvement, Letting Go, Love, Make It Count, RELATIONSHIPS, WellnessTags: , , , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments