Category: FRIENDSHIP

Character Not Color!

Yes, I’m finally going there. I held off following the crowd and posting about a “color” but what I see bothers me. Why? Because everything repetitive turns into only “noise” in my opinion, the initial intended meaningful message gets diluted then it doesn’t solve anything: there will be supporters and there will be those opposing. Opinions are rampant, everyone’s got one and most people dismiss someone’s opinion unless it aligns with their personal viewpoint, so does it really create change?

Do I truly want to see a change? YES! Do I truly want to experience unity? YES! Do I strongly dislike labels? YES! How will change happen? Think about it: change is hard, most people resist change and WE CAN’T CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE! WE CAN ONLY CHANGE OURSELVES! Hopefully the people who feel this same way will become a better reflection and more visible to others preparing a better future together. Change starts with me. Gradually through every day experiences, opportunities and conversations change will come about, but it won’t be over night. Every individual has to do their personal part and it’s a learning process. There are always moments of stumbling before people make it through changes, right? As a society, because of “political correctness” everyone is so highly sensitive, offended so easily, and looking to “catch” someone saying something “off”; it makes conversations very fragile, each party not feeling like they can openly share their deepest honest thoughts, experiences and concerns leading to positive change. Not being able to safely express thoughts slows productive progress.

One thing that all of us could do a better job of is LISTENING, truly listening to each other, having EMPATHY, putting ourselves in the other person’s place, think about what their experience might be like. I’ve seen some posts like that and THOSE are affective. Social media can be used for sharing personal stories being honest and looking for positive change. I encourage those of you who are doing that; we need personal stories! We all have our own viewpoints shaped by our “different” life experiences and we see things from those experiences, but those experiences may be the “same” too? Just because some may see others based on personal experiences, doesn’t mean the entire population is that way. Generalization hurts.

What I feel strongest about regarding this topic is: Everyone: please stop making everything “Black” vs “White!” I think enough generations have passed that we should be focusing on “right” vs. “wrong” in regards to people’s actions. We have so many mixed nationalities and “colors” how can we even call it “black” or “white”? Our population is a melting pot, our ancestors have mixed it up quite a bit! We need to focus on ourselves as the “HUMAN” race. What difference does our skin color TRULY make? None!

There is no “good” race, or person, for that matter! The only one who can be called good is GOD! As a society, we need to stop blaming everyone else for everything and start being responsible and accountable for our own actions. I am not denying the fact that there are people who oppress others, who hate, who hurt, who manipulate others, who take advantage of others, etc. Yes, there are those people, and if we will all be honest, I’m sure we can find someone who “looks just like us” and can be described in that way. It all boils down to character not color. And we need to find a way to reach those people doing “bad” things and give them a reason to change! Educate.

There are many who have experienced inequality, and injustice but we can’t make a broad sweeping judgement against numerous people based on certain individuals’ actions. Each person must be held accountable for their own actions and dealt with in a just way, as it relates to the established laws. One person breaking a law does not justify others breaking laws in retaliation; does that truly cause POSITIVE change? Or does it perpetuate hatred? And most of the media coverage I see is a disgrace to society. The media is all about drama, it highlights the worst of the worst and devotes more time to that than anything else, it ignites the problem.

There is genuine frustration felt by everyone.

I want to say the following to the people who are voicing personal racism right now:

  1. First of all, I don’t want to call you by a “color” label! I personally want to refer to you as a person: male or female and that is all. Why do we use a different label? Do you want to be identified with a label? Can we stop that?
  2. I want you to share your experiences, so that others can learn from them and become aware. We need that.
  3. I don’t form an opinion of someone based on their skin color, your skin color doesn’t matter to me. My opinion of you is formed based on my interaction with you and the personal character you present to me.
  4. I’ve met people whom I respect greatly and people that I don’t respect at all, but that is because of what they say or do, it’s all about character not “color”
  5. Many others experience “injustice” at times, you are not alone in this. If you look at history, many have experienced horrible injustice and persecution: Jewish people as well as Christians. In my life, I’ve personally witnessed men, as well as women experiencing injustice solely due to their sex and generalized assumptions. I have strong feelings about this: we ALL need to support what is “right” and be against what is “wrong” and not let “general assumptions” define an entire “group” of people. We need unity, not division.
  6. I’ve personally experienced being dismissed, honestly based on me being a woman, rather than based on my abilities but I will always remember the man who recognized this (without being told by anyone to do this) and he spoke up for me immediately, in the moment. He was an example to me of the character we all should have, and I’ve told others about that experience for years. That is what makes a difference- acting in the moment and we all need to do this, we all need to speak up when we see something happen. I don’t believe that I need to belong to “the equal rights, women’s club” or take on a “strong, forceful woman persona” because of this experience. I feel like that sort of identification and “separation” from men, actually causes more “separation.” So it bothers me when people do that: identify that way. Please be strong in standing for what you believe as an individual, because many people within a group label are different, and you may not want to be labeled the same as some of those people in the group. I didn’t want to be identified “differently” in business; I just wanted to be viewed based solely on my abilities. I believe we need to acknowledge our differences (men and women) and be happy about those differences; we compliment and balance each other! This experience I had was as an Architectural Project Manager on a construction job site, and there weren’t many woman in that type of a role as there are now. I just needed time to gain other’s confidence, working TOGETHER, over time, and it did change. I had to contribute to conversation more so others could view me based on my knowledge rather than on being a woman. Some might say, I shouldn’t have needed to do that, but seriously? Who said life was going to be easy with no challenges? We have to do what it takes to make progress. If we want change, it will happen, but it happens with us as an individual first. Being in that situation required that I be respectful of others during the process, or I would have lost their respect and gained nothing, made no progress.
  7. I will stand up for what is right. I have empathy for people doing what is good/right, who are treated poorly, unfairly and without justice. I will NOT stand up for someone SOLELY based on their skin color; that is wrong. As a “white” person, it would be wrong for me to stand up for a “white” person, just because they are “white” but at the same time, this also holds true inserting any “color”- it is about character, not color to me.
  8. I believe we all achieve more when acting peacefully than acting out of anger. I think we need to reflect on how we can create a positive outcome before immediately addressing a situation so that it happens in a calm manner, rather than in an upset manner, and so we conclude with positive change.
  9. I wish those who say “the white people” this or that, would stop saying that because not all “white people” are the same, nor do all
    “white people” have the same life experiences. And I realize that not everyone says this…so that statement is only meant for those who say it. Again generalizations harm progress. Speak directly to the person who did something bad/wrong.
  10. I believe if those who feel we are on “opposite” sides took the time to get to know the “opposite” side, they will find out, we are the same: there are people who do “good” and people who do “bad.” We need to be unified in opposing “bad”.
  11. I realize I may have not experienced life the way some have, but then again, maybe I have and you simply don’t know me or my life? Don’t assume anything.
  12. The protests shown by the media don’t seem to lead to meaningful conversations from what I’ve seen. If a person doesn’t believe in what the protesters are saying, they ignore them, but the people who ignore them are the ones the protesters want to reach! The people who have the same view are already supportive. This doesn’t appear to be a means to success? I believe in the freedom of speech; but what is the most effective way? Then there are those who resort to violence because they are not being heard….Does yelling at someone with an opposing view point create positive change? Does giving authorities the middle finger work to do anything other than perpetuate hatred? I haven’t seen it do something positive. This is venting anger and perpetuating the problem unfortunately. This violence needs to stop or positive change will not happen. I think we may all agree with this? We can’t be supportive of people who are acting badly. Can we ask ourselves: what are we doing personally to stop people we know who behave like this? How can we reach them?
  13. Lastly, it concerns me when our society/news media continually highlights “black” and “white” as the primary focus….can we please focus on:

Character not Color!

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Sacrifice?

Here we go again! It’s early morning, on a holiday weekend, but does it feel like the ones from the past? Not to me. Real life experiences and early morning thoughts inspire what I often write. So how appropriate to all of us is the topic of sacrifice right now? I’m betting this topic’s relatable to most of us.

Some words get overused, so while the meaning is known, it’s original meaning is diluted, or no longer thought about. So here is the definition:

sac·ri·fice/ˈsakrəˌfīs/ sacrifice; plural noun: sacrifices

  1. an act of slaughtering an animal or person or surrendering a possession as an offering to God or to a divine or supernatural figure.”they offer sacrifices to the spirits”
  2. Similar: ritual
    • an animal, person, or object offered in a sacrifice.
    • an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.”we must all be prepared to make sacrifices“

So the “sacrifice” concept is something that NEVER made sense to me in the Bible, until now. I seriously struggled with this, it didn’t make sense to me, but it does now. Anyone who truly believes there is a God, will understand this after I explain, but if you don’t believe in God, you’re going to have a hard time comprehending this. While reading the Bible, especially in the Old Testament, there is a lot of ugly, disgusting, repulsive stuff that happens and some of it, I don’t want to read again; it’s that bad. It’s historical “Netflix”, documented in the Bible, for real. At least on some of Netflix, a person can think: “it’s just a movie” or a “show” but this was real life and really happened.

I had so many questions: Why would God do this? Who made this “rule/ritual”? Why is “sacrifice” required? Why would God, who created everything and told us “not to kill” be okay with “sacrifice”? It certainly seemed to contradict the messages and made it confusing: “don’t kill”, then “slaughter this specific animal, in a certain process”…What? I think many of us who get that far, may stop and say…”Well I don’t believe in a God like that, so I’m going to ignore that. It doesn’t make sense.” I did that for awhile, but covering up your eyes and ears doesn’t make something go away. So then “why”?

First, let’s start with those who believe in God. If you truly believe in God, you believe in a spiritual being that you cannot see. Let that sink in. Sounds crazy, right? If you believe in God, you need to acknowledge that believing in God, to those who don’t, does sound primitive and crazy. And yes, I personally believe in God, but let’s be honest about it from the world’s view today. Then if you know the Bible, and even if you don’t, I’m telling you right now: The Bible is about a loving God, but a spiritual war that commenced with us in the middle shortly after God created people.

The Bible doesn’t explain, in detail, why this war started, it only tells us there was a dispute and Satan (the devil) was thrown, cast, hurled from Heaven down to earth.

So as I write this, I think, uh this sounds like a fictitious story we tell kids to make a point! I thought that for a long time. There is so much today that makes fun of those who bring up Satan, and maybe solidify or perpetuate the thought this is fictitious, like the “church lady,” which I personally find humorous, but disrespectful at the same time because it presents people who believe in a laughable way – and I’m one of those people, but I always thought we can’t be too serious all the time, it’s okay to laugh at ourselves, others might disagree with me about that? I disregard that comedy, just like it disregards Christians. But as soon as you realize the Bible lines up with history and historical events were predicted in the Bible by prophets and actually came true, and the people in the Bible are real people, with a documented lineage, ancestry; then that concept of “story-time” fails. You have to not only read the Bible, but study the Bible and compare to history books for this proof.

Anyway getting back to the explanation: Satan (the devil) is real, is part of that history and has a role/a place in the Bible from the beginning until the end. We need to acknowledge that, as weird as it sounds; it has a profound impact, back then and today. If you don’t comprehend that, you’re missing the warning for all of us given throughout the Bible. So this dispute between God and Satan occurred and I don’t know why God didn’t just immediately destroy Satan, but knowing God’s character from the Bible, it could be that He allowed Satan to continue in existence possibly because God is loving but just. He doesn’t act impulsively, He is patient, He gives people time, but in the end, God is just.

To put this into a modern day concept: think about a business leader/boss, who has a star performer employee and this star employee is phenomenal, but then pride takes over for the star employee and based on pride, selfishness, and love of money, the star employee starts thinking they are better than their leader – for this example, it is important to use the assumption here that the leader is a good one, a caring one, a fair person, honest, looks out for the employees, provides for them, etc. (because there are many leaders who don’t exhibit those qualities today) – but this star employee is no longer a team player, just out for their own personal benefit. So the star employee leaves and competes with the former employer to prove their superiority. The leader has been around a long time, with a loyal customer base and a proven business, so the leader just lets this former “star employee” have its own way. knowing eventually those character flaws/qualities of pride, selfishness and love of money will self destruct the former star employee. The leader doesn’t even need to fight it, the former star employee’s own motivation and actions will end up bringing the star employee to ruin. Haven’t we seen that today? Does it make more sense now? This leader is like God and Satan is like the star employee. Is fighting or immediate destruction even needed, for God to prove He is right? No. Also, knowing God’s character from the Bible, do you think maybe He loved Satan/Devil/Lucifer at one time? I do. Have you ever loved someone that turned on you? If you really loved them, then you wouldn’t want to destroy them, you’d be more hurt than anything.

Getting back to sacrifice. Sacrifice plain and simple is for atonement.

a·tone·ment/əˈtōnmənt/: atonement; plural noun: atonements

  1. reparation for a wrong or injury.”she wanted to make atonement for her husband’s behavior”
    • (in religious contexts) reparation or expiation for sin.”an annual ceremony of confession and atonement for sin”
    • CHRISTIAN THEOLOGY the reconciliation of God and humankind through Jesus Christ.noun: Atonement; noun: the Atonement

The presence of sin (starting in the Garden of Eden) caused death, pain and sacrifice. Sacrifice leads to atonement. Sin is also referred to as “death.” There is no death for God; he is eternal. Those who make it to heaven will also become immortal/eternal too. These are concepts given to us in the Bible through prophets and through Jesus. When people choose to sin, people are ultimately choosing death. Death is the experience for sin; sin separates people from God. Satan is competing with God. What better way to separate people from God, than to entice people through sin, separating people from God. Sin is deceptive: it might be fun (for the moment) but isn’t there a time when we look back on sin and realize maybe it wasn’t worth the consequence? If it were this clear to people, people wouldn’t choose sin. But Satan is also known as the ultimate deceiver and then the accuser. Has anyone ever deceived you before? You didn’t expect it, right? When someone is good at deceiving, it’s a surprise when we figure it out. If it’s something no one wants (death), wouldn’t you have to be deceitful to gain people, coax them into death? Then after you deceive someone into sinning…don’t let them turn back “repent” to repair their relationship …keep reminding them (accusing them) of their sin so they feel so worthless and like they can’t go back. (which is also a lie) That’s exactly how Satan operates with his ultimate goal of separating people from God. This was shown to us in the book of Job; Satan was using all he could to get Job to turn away from God!

I’m going to assume that most people would choose living over dying, because people are sad when someone dies. So what better way for Satan to separate people from God, than through death? A sacrifice is exactly that: death of something. Sacrifices started because of sin. God put an end to “living being sacrifices” through Jesus’ death on the cross. That was the ultimate sacrifice: “Jesus/God dying” and what Satan wanted from the beginning, “the ransom” as we understand from the Bible. But that wasn’t the end as we are told through the Bible by prophets and Jesus himself; there is more to come. (Read more about the future in this link).

In summary, God created the earth and everything on it out of love. He created people to love Him back. We all know that forced love is not real love, so God doesn’t force people; He lets people choose. We ended up in a spiritual warzone without knowing this when we were born, but at some point in life, we will figure this out. When we figure it out, then we have to make a choice. Satan is opposing God and working hard to separate as many people from God as possible through deceptive ways. God was not pleased with the living sacrifices and responded to that by offering Jesus as the ransom, the ultimate sacrifice for us, no one has the value Jesus has, so that is what made Jesus an acceptable sacrifice, more valuable than any of us. Jesus’ sacrifice saves those who want to be saved from eternal Hell. But we still have a choice. Do we believe in Jesus? Do we have faith in this? Do we accept this “gift” from God? If you said yes, you are “almost” saved. I felt strongly about making this clear to people, because I think there is a larger number of people who think when they answer this “I believe”, “they’re good to go!” but that is not the full truth based on what I found in the Bible, and I see many churches appeal to people in this way and it’s sad to me, because they are misleading people and possibly keeping them from heaven. It is true that by faith we are saved, but faith alone is death – Jesus’ brother James told us that in the Bible. We didn’t get “off the hook” that easily, there is something more required of us by God: we are required to be obedient to his commands. We can’t do enough good things to earn our way to heaven; that would cause pride and God hates a prideful person. So it is by faith, but proving our faith by our actions. Becoming obedient prepares people for living in eternity with God and shows God we mean what we say. How many people are good at “lip service,” telling us what we want to hear, but not supporting what they say by their actions? Well this is the same between us and God. Are we giving God “lip service” or are we proving it by our actions? The obedience part is probably the most challenging part for all of us. It is not natural for us to be obedient, but God requires it. Thankfully, God is forgiving, so it doesn’t matter what we’ve done; He promises forgiveness, but with forgiveness, He also requires us to change our future actions and not do whatever it was anymore. None of us will be perfect, even after we commit to changing our ways, because we are human, so making mistakes requires us to take personal responsibility for them immediately, apologize and change. If we don’t, then we are going against God, we are just giving God “lip service” and He’s not fooled. He knows our intentions; He created us! So not taking action is not going to be a “success story” for those who give God “lip service”. Sacrifice today is still required though not through the death of a living being, thank God for that, but it still requires painful decisions for us personally. It won’t be easy, change isn’t easy. We want the immediate reward “here and now,” but the reward God has planned is promised to be greater than what we sacrifice “here and now”. What do you chose?

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I hope you read this and it makes a Difference!

I woke up early this morning with this on my mind: in the midst of “social distancing” and “isolation” caused by this rapidly spreading #coronavirus …you’re like me right now, if you don’t want to see or hear that word again, and feel “exhausted” by it, wanting to “social distance from that word!” but yet learn from experts, it’s a mental tug-of-war between the two: avoidance and seeking information to be informed.

Getting back to the thought I had this morning: “FOG”…”Emerging from the Fog” We are “in the fog” right now: things are unclear, uncertain, we can’t see what’s ahead of us, we are fumbling while trying to move forward, we aren’t quite “blind,” but are having trouble seeing ahead. There is no doubt, in my mind, that this is an unprecedented situation for something even greater than what our current focus is on.

When was the last time the ENTIRE WORLD came to a “halt” at the same time?

Pay attention to this! It’s more significant than you may realize right now. Have you ever focused so much on a detail, that you didn’t get the main point? What we are experiencing right now is exactly that: the virus is the detail, but it is not the main point. The virus will pass, just don’t miss the main point of why we are going through this now. History repeats itself; we have the same experiences in life when we don’t learn from them. This is where I may loose you….

But I hope you read this and it makes a difference:

Let me first explain, I am not a “religious” person. I’ll define that by example: I grew up with a religion, went to a faith based school, but honestly, I rejected that religion. I never felt connected, struggled with the religion, but I did have faith in God somehow. I became “affiliated” with that religion, and then defined myself to others as a “non-practicing” ….this is not something to be proud of; it’s embarrassing, but true. I tried to participate more because that was “the right thing to do,” but I failed often yet believed (what little I learned from) the Bible; this wasn’t an intentional rejection of God, but in a way it still was rejecting God, because I didn’t have God as my priority, and I didn’t realize that at the time (I was in a fog). So as I say what’s next, try to understand coming from my perspective.

I believe what is happening is a “wake up” call. Only God could manage to DISRUPT/HALT THE ENTIRE WORLD in a very short time frame (a matter of weeks). I’m NOT saying God CAUSED this; but I am saying God is USING this, turning something bad into something good for us. None of us have seen anything like it in our life time. It has global reach and is affecting each of us individually.

So how is God using this? He is using this to turn our attention to Him. Our world has (we have) become so corrupt, we don’t even realize it, we’ve begun to accept things that are completely against the Bible as normal and believe those things are “right,” “justifiable,” in our minds and we are headed on a path of destruction, but don’t even realize this. I was in a fog about this too, going in the same path; BEFORE reading the Bible for the first time recently, late summer 2019. This statement isn’t only my opinion (that God is trying to turn our attention to Him), it is biblically based. There are many historically documented times, where God used natural disasters, events, plagues, healings, miracles, angels, etc. to get people’s attention, this is His REPEATED mode of operation, documented in the Bible:

  • The flood and Noah’s Ark (growing up, I thought this was a fable to teach us something, but I realize while this was to teach us something; it isn’t a fable). There are well educated archaeologists, historians and scientists who can back up this statement; believe me, I had to find them before making a statement like this because of my initial belief!
  • The plagues in Egypt during Moses’ time in the Old Testament
  • The destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah
  • Angels sent by God to warn people or inform people, messengers, protectors
  • The miracles Jesus (and the Apostles, through God performed)

I don’t think this is the end of the world; I’m not an extremist. Just like all those times thousands of years ago, it was not the end of the world, but it was a wake up call. This virus is something that will pass, in my opinion, but right now, we don’t know if someone we know will get this, or if we will get it? Will we recover? Or will God decide: “your time’s up”?

Are you prepared for this?

What we are experiencing right now is enough to cause concern in me about people who haven’t been “fortunate” enough to have some event in your life “wake you up.” Take advantage of this downtime to connect with God. This is personal between each of us and God; you will learn the significance about this, if you read the bible. It affects every person’s future.

Long Range planning? This is where our long range planning needs to be, everything else is short term planning, don’t be misled by distractions in life.

Remember: you don’t take it with you. In the end, it is just your spirit that God breathed into you when he gave you life. You get to decide where your spirit ends up; it’s your choice. If you haven’t thought about that, now is a good time.

My personal note to you: As I began to read the Bible, I started an Instagram account (link here) to save things I read that stood out to me, things I didn’t know before reading the Bible, to help me remember them, and for future reference. I thought if anyone else reads them and it helps someone else that’s even better. The only people/accounts that I follow are people who have contributed (unknowingly) to the growth of my faith. I’m hoping that if you read this and you want to learn more, maybe these accounts will be a good resource for you too? There are a variety of personalities, you may connect with some, and not others. I’ve watched these people/accounts I follow for awhile and over time they have been authentic, teach from the Bible and seem to have integrity too, and seem to be “servants” of God with good intentions. As for my account, it has now become a “responsibility”/”accountability” I gave myself: to make me read something from the Bible every day, and create a post, truly thinking about what I just read (journaling) which I never did before. I know it’s important to stay connected daily, or naturally, our priority of God will be replaced with something else. Whatever we focus on becomes our priority. The greatest commandment is to keep God as our #1 priority. When I first read the Bible, it was a “race to the end” for me to “get the main point” of it, but now I’m getting into the details. I’m relatively new to this but learning more every day from committing to daily reading. Doing this truly has transformed my beliefs/thoughts/priorities, in ways I never thought possible.

Other resources:

For Hope/Positivity: I rarely have anxiety about anything now, but occasionally if it starts, it ends quickly by listening to a YouTube video, specifically by Rick Warren on that topic and how the Bible addresses the subject matter. He has an incredible library of helpful topics to get through anything in life, based on the Bible. His stated intention is to give people hope. I’m actually reading his book right now, The Purpose Driven Life, and even though it’s been a #1 Seller that topped the Wall Street Journal’s chart, Publishers Weekly chart and was a New York Times Bestseller with 32 million copies sold in 85 languages as of 2019, for me, his videos have more personal impact and daily application of Biblical teachings, but everyone responds to different things and different people.

For Historical and Scientific support of Biblical information along with real life application: Greg Holder and the weekly YouTube online broadcast of each and every service of The Crossing is a great resource.

For the honest biblically based truth: If you have pride, or think you are “good enough,” don’t need to change, you should listen to Marcus Rogers for a wake up call. He talks raw truth about the bible, doesn’t “sugar coat” anything, doesn’t care how people react to what he says, he says things most people are afraid to say because it is not what people want to hear, isn’t
“politically correct”, afraid because they will be looked at like they are crazy (talking about the spiritual world) when this is actually in the Bible, people don’t want to accept it as truth because it makes them uncomfortable. His style is not what I grew up with, yet I appreciate what he is doing and like him because I believe he has good core intentions and he does make me think or research something, reflect on my short comings.

For reading the Bible on your own: (this app reads it to you also); you can search any topic, find reading plans based on what is applicable in your life at the time, download the YouVersion app available in ios or Android versions. This app was created by Life Church.

For questions about anything in the Bible: www.GotQuestions.Org offers an app resource which answers different questions people may have coming from different faith backgrounds into the exploration of Christian faith and provides the scripture references for questions, so you can read them for yourself and decide.

My hope is that this helps at least one person! #faithoverfear #trustGod

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Real Love – from the #1 source, best seller

Growing up our thoughts about love and relationships are formed based on what we see in other relationships of those we are closest to as well as our personal experiences and just like first-time parents, we may, or may not, have been given the best instruction book for success due to this. People are obviously not perfect in example or in relationships in general.

I believe everyone at some point in their life wants a real “love” relationship experience, especially after getting hurt. But many of us don’t know what “love” truly is, we think we do (again based on what we see or experience), but that could be wrong. We may end up seeking advice from from friends, from books, from music, from others; but often that advice isn’t the best because it is based on other’s personal experiences and personally drawn conclusions, so it might not be applicable to us.

So there is honestly only 1 trustworthy author, who is a guaranteed, reliable source for real love knowledge, because none of us are perfect, or act perfect all the time, so we are not the best sources on love; we are imperfect sources. But God is. God is a trustworthy, guaranteed, eternal, reliable source for love and because of the following reasons:

  • The Bible is inspired by God (through the Holy Spirit, the source of Wisdom) (2 Timothy 3:16) (Isaiah 11:2)
  • The Bible is truth, so that’s the only resource for trusted information. (John 17:17)
  • The Bible tells us: “God is Love” (1 John 4:8), so going straight to the source of Love is the best place for information.
  • According to the Guinness Book of World Records as of 1995, the Bible is the best-selling book of all time with an estimated 5 billion copies sold and distributed. The bible has sold billions of copies and is the best selling book of all time- according to World Atlas as of 2018 also.

So what does the Bible tell us about real love?

  • First God is love and loves us. (Deuteronomy 23:5, Romans 5:5, John 1:17, 1 Thessalonians 1:4, 1 John 4:9 and hundreds of more verses in the Bible) God is perfect, so love described in the Bible is the ONLY perfect, real love.
  • Secondly, Jesus told us the most important choice we can make is: Loving God and loving others (Mark 12 29:31) so we should understand what real love means because it WILL affect us.

So how do we know (recognize) real love and how do we show real love to others?

  • Love is Patient (1 Corinthians 13: 4) – someone who loves shows patience is calm, forgiving, gentle, quiet, tolerant, submissive, persistent, understanding, accommodating, composed, easy-going, even-tempered, untiring, willing to endure, lenient, mild-tempered, persevering, serene
  • Love is Kind (1 Corinthians 13:4) – someone who is kind: affectionate, amiable, charitable, compassionate, considerate, cordial, courteous, friendly, gentle, gracious, humane, kindhearted, loving, sympathetic, thoughtful, tolerant, humanitarian, understanding
  • Love is NOT jealous (1 Corinthians 13:4): it is calm, content, undoubting, unworried, confident, satisfied, trusting, unresentful
  • Love is NOT boastful (1 Corinthians 13:4): it is humble, modest, unconceited
  • Love is NOT proud (1 Corinthians 13:4); it is humble, meek, modest
  • Love is NOT rude (1 Corinthians 13:5); it is decent, gentle, nice, polite, refined, sophisticated, mannerly, respectful
  • Love does NOT demand its own way (1 Corinthians 13: 5); it is easy, flexible, nice, simple, tolerant, yielding, unchallenging
  • Love is NOT irritable (1 Corinthians 13: 5); it is happy, pleasant, cheerful, nice
  • Love keeps no record of being wronged (1 Corinthians 13:5); love forgives and doesn’t remind someone of the past
  • Love supports justice (1 Corinthians 13: 6): it is honesty, integrity, truth
  • Love never gives-up (1 Corinthians 13:7); it compliments, praises, helps, initiates, cares, maintains, continues, fights for, holds on, accepts, embraces, joins, stays, remains, pursues, encourages, grows, builds, defends, treasures, guards, protects, validates, builds up, stabilizes, strengthens, remains, waits, supports
  • Love never loses faith (1 Corinthians 13:7); love has belief, confidence, hope, loyalty, truth, allegiance, assurance, certainty, constancy, fidelity
  • Love is always hopeful (1 Corinthians 13: 7); confident, cheerful, comfortable, eager, enthusiastic, trusting, upbeat, calm, content, faithful, reassuring, forward-looking, serene, encouraging, exciting, uplifting, enlivening, inspiring
  • Love endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:7); it bears hardships and survives, it sustains, weathers, withstands, supports, is patient through circumstances, copes, hangs on, puts up with, persists, remains, stays, lasts, has no end, love lasts FOREVER

Love is NOT:

demanding, pushy, loud, rough, troubled, violent, wild, frustrated, impatient, intolerant, unwilling, aloof, antagonistic, cold, cruel, disagreeable, discourteous, hard, harsh, hateful, inattentive, inconsiderate, indifferent, inhumane, mean, merciless, nasty, rough, rude, thoughtless, uncaring, uncompassionate, unfeeling, unfriendly, unkind, unsociable, violent, bitter, jealous, anxious, apprehensive, envious, intolerant, possessive, skeptical, suspicious, doubting, grabby, guarded, mistrustful, monopolizing, possessory, questioning, boastful, arrogant, cocky, pompous, pretentious, big-headed, conceited, egotistical, hifalutin, know-it-all, hot stuff, loudmouth, self-applauding, smart-alecky, snooty, stuck-up, swanky, imposing, feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something regarded highly valuable, feeling of superiority, abusive, blunt, crude, impolite, insulting, intrusive, obscene, vulgar, abrupt, bad-mannered, discourteous, inconsiderate, savage, challenging, urgent, critical, difficult, exhausting, hard, onerous, pressing, strict, taxing, tough, troublesome, trying, nagging, wearing, bothersome, dictatorial, fussy, grievous, insistent, oppressive, annoyed, resentful, testy, cantankerous, complaining, dissatisfied, easily offended, gloomy, grouchy, grumbling, hasty, huffy, hypercritical, moody, ill-humored, oversensitive, quick-tempered, sensitive, tense, touchy, corrupt, dishonest, lawlessness, unethical, unfair, partiality, abandoning, leaving alone, quitting, dropping, deserting, backing out, avoiding, keeping from, withdrawing, leaving hanging, calling it quits, backing off, copping out, holding back, getting “cold feet,” letting go, discarding, dumping, aborting, ignoring, disloyal, dishonest, doubtful, inconsistent, uncertain, rejecting, skeptic, apathetic, depressed, disinterested, down, hopeless, pessimistic, sad, unenthusiastic, unhappy, desperate, despondent, fearful, gloomy

After reading about real love from the Bible, was it what you thought it was?

Love was defined differently than I would have described it. It was enlightening for me the first time I read it. After reading it, I don’t think any of us are born being truly loving people, it’s not natural, we are much more self-centered (think about babies) Love is something we learn overtime by practicing it and choosing it over what real love is not. Real love is a choice we make, not a feeling we feel. The “feeling” by itself is lust; it’s not love. Love is a choice of compassion.

This knowledge is helpful when evaluating “love” and evaluating ourselves in life- how loving are we? And definitely knowledge we need to comprehend before we make a life time commitment to someone; both parties deserve that.

by Categories: Dating, Entertainment, Face Fear, FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP, HAPPINESS, Improvement, Letting Go, Love, Make It Count, MUSIC, RELATIONSHIPS, Sex, WellnessTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 5 Comments

2019 – Making God the Priority

2 am this morning and I wake up like it’s time to get prepared for the day, except it’s not! But a clear thought was in my head:

“All action eventually leads to a result – based on the priority we give it.”

If you review the titles of my prior blogs, you will see they are a journal of life events over the past four years (since 2016), searching for happiness and life purpose, leading to change along the way. In hindsight, the past four years went by so quickly but I’m not yet where I want to be in life. I hesitated in writing anything reflecting on 2019 because I can only describe it as one of the most challenging years of my life in almost every aspect (everything I prioritized in life was in turmoil); the positive highlights are the only things I posted on social media.

Having my priorities in life in turmoil, led me to the darkest time of my life, so dark that I was truly ready for my life to be over which further complicated my life by paralyzing my ability to accomplish anything that was a priority to me. Before I scare anyone I know reading this, I do not believe in suicide and that was never an option for me: I believe only God holds that authority to end a life; not us. A few who are closest to me suggested seeing a counselor to get through this, which I did, but was ineffective for me unfortunately. I wanted help getting through this time in my life, but it didn’t happen from the outside, so I stopped. But I knew that I needed help. It was finally at this point when I truly gave up on everything and tried one more way for help: I thought: if God created everything, He can do the impossible; then He is the only way I will get through this.

My first realization: While I was partially focused on changing my way of living, I wasn’t completely. Looking back to something I wrote years ago (2017) about Trust and Obey shows my resistance to obedience. As I’ve heard before: we keep experiencing the same results until we learn the lesson. And 2019 was living proof that it’s not enjoyable continuing the lessons, it’s easier to be obedient to God’s commands.

My second realization: I was still putting other things/sources before God; I wasn’t completely trusting God to make the significant changes in my life.

I started reading the bible, obsessed with trying to gain wisdom and understanding from the bible to get through this time because it was my only hope. While reading it, I realized I never truly “Surrendered to God” like I thought I did a couple years ago. I believed I surrendered, when I asked God to guide me, but I was still living how I wanted to live and doing everything based on my own feelings. After reading the bible, it became clear: I needed to change the way I was living. I read about peace, joy, contentment, no anxiety, no worries in all times of life, but I wasn’t experiencing that and didn’t understand why it wasn’t happening for me, when so many wrote about that experience in the bible? I needed that.

It was when I paid attention to a certain detail in the bible that I found the answer. There were people who were baptized by someone, but didn’t receive the Spirit of God. I know this is an “out there” kind of statement for many people, but it’s in the bible and I have faith. Here are the supporting verses from the bible:

“because the Holy Spirit had not yet come on any of them; they had simply been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus” Acts 8:16 NIV

“For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit” Acts 1:5 NIV

“Then I remembered what the Lord had said: ‘John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.‘ Acts 11:16 NIV

“Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 28;19 NLT

John the Baptist baptized people in preparation for Jesus, this baptism was for repentance (deep sorrow for a past sin, wrongdoing, regret for past action), but the Holy Spirit is what people need for guidance, strength and true life change.

“I didn’t know he was the one, but when God sent me to baptize with water, he told me, ‘The one on whom you see the Spirit descend and rest is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.’ John 1:33 NLT

“As Jesus came up out of the water, he saw the heavens splitting apart and the Holy Spirit descending on him like a dove.” Mark 1:10 NLT

“I baptize with water those who repent of their sins and turn to God. But someone is coming soon who is greater than I am- so much greater that I’m not worthy even to be his slave and carry his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.” Matthew 3:11 NLT

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness” Galatians 5:22 NLT

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere- in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8 NLT

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 NLT

“So you received the message with joy from the Holy Spirit in spite of the severe suffering it brought you. In this way, you imitated both us and the Lord.” 1 Thessalonians 1:16 NLT

“But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true- it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.” 1 John 2:27 NLT

“So how does a person become filled with the Holy Spirit?” was my next question.

“He is the Holy Spirit, who leads to all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you.” John 14:17 NLT

“Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” Acts 2:38 NLT

When we live our lives as Jesus showed by his actions and advice (turning away from sin), we are able to receive the Holy Spirit.

“Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Ephesians 5:18 NLT

“But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)” Romans 8:9 NLT

“And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.” Ephesians 4:30 NLT

Changing the way we live:

“With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God-truly righteous and holy. So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. ‘And don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them…Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4: 17 -32

My third realization: Even though 2019 was one of my worst years ever, it brought me closer to God.

My fourth realization: This is something else that I found throughout the bible: God uses hardships to draw people closer to Him – that must be what has been happening in my life. There are numerous examples and stories in the bible about this.

My fifth realization (this morning):

“All action eventually leads to a result – based on the priority we give it.”

Seeking God daily by listening to encouraging, motivational bible derived messages that apply to every day living (click for a resource I access) (website) or reading something from the bible that’s relevant to a feeling I’m experiencing through this app (click here) appears to be making a difference for me: I truly am much more at peace with life even when it’s not easy, I have more patience, calmness, almost no anxiety, even though I should based on circumstances, I don’t have it, I trust that God will take care of it, if I do what is right. And after I started changing my ways, truly unexpected numerous good things began happening in my life.

This experience made me realize that God needs to remain THE priority in my life. This is wisdom from the bible: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33

by Categories: Face Fear, FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP, HAPPINESS, Improvement, Love, Make It Count, RELATIONSHIPS, WellnessTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

What is my (our) Purpose in Life?

About five years ago, this question became more important to me: “What is my purpose in life?”

(To be honest, this question was lingering in me, unrecognized as a teenager too, but I never put much thought into it. I would make decisions about my future when I felt like I was running out of time, and had to choose something, then I’d quickly make a decision, go with it, figuring out how to make it work over time.)

As time passed, I truly wanted to know the answer because I felt like there had to be more to life. I felt like I had been wasting time, and didn’t want to continue this way, so I started searching for the answer. I can remember thinking: “We can’t just be here to eat, sleep, and do whatever it is that keeps us busy during the day and night?” There should be something more important, more meaningful in life, than “existing and taking up space:” a Purpose.

I finally stumbled upon the answer to this question in the Bible:

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

So the answer is: God created each of us with a specific purpose to fulfill. But when we find an answer like this, let’s be honest: “Who is looking to do MORE work and have MORE responsibilities than we already have?” Probably not many, UNLESS the REWARD is worth it, right? So is the reward worth it? YES! For this answer to be personally true, meaningful and understood for each of us, it requires a relevant context, because without that, we are probably not interested.

So why is this information relevant to each and every person?

It is relevant because it affects our future: what happens to us and is something that only we, personally, can direct, through our daily choices. To receive the reward, we must have faith in Jesus, however we will be judged on our faith through our actions (our works and obeying the Ten Commandments). “Faith without works is dead.” James 2:14-26

So why would we trust what the Bible has to say?

The information in the Bible is from God, our creator, Who speaks only in truth, and reveals some of the mysterious aspects of our existence through the Bible about what is happening and why it is happening. The Bible is an historical book providing reasons why some events took place, giving proof of God through miraculous events, prophesies that came true and through living proof when Jesus was present on earth and teaching, died and rose from the dead. All of this was done to help us, strengthen us and for God to see what choice we will make once we find out and learn about this. (Think about this: Have you ever evaluated a relationship to see if it was worthwhile? That’s what God’s doing with us: He’s giving us a choice about a relationship with Him.)

The Bible is like an “open book test”: the answers are there, but will we seek them and then apply them to be successful? What we are experiencing in our lives right now is something more significant in process: it is a test with a significant reward (heaven/eternal life), if we are successful and horrible consequences (hell) if we fail. So this is why it is important to know what’s in the Bible and apply what we learn.

This is personal: the best way to get answers to our individual questions is by reading the Bible and praying for the understanding of what we read, because this is how God communicates with us; God will provide clarity, directly to each of us when we are looking for answers in the Bible and through prayer. Seek God first in everything. (Matthew 6:33)

So getting back to our purpose in life, I wondered: We were created to do what specific “good works”?

Doing these “good works” and obeying is evidence of our Faith, which is required to receive God’s reward and our life right now is a TEST. The day-to-day “worldly” things that we experience and worry about are truly UNIMPORTANT and INSIGNIFICANT when we understand the high level reason we were created and what we should have our focus. There is so much to focus on in life, but if we make God the priority and focus in our minds, everything else will fall into place. That’s why the Bible tells us not to worry: God provides what we need in support of His plan for us. (Side note: this also explains the reason for some unanswered prayers.) This also requires faith; we have to have faith in God to really believe that He provides, but little by little as our faith grows, we start seeing this come true, which grows our faith.

Getting back to “good works” I also found this answer:

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” Romans 12:6

The gifts, given by God for the purpose God determined when He created us, are:

  1. Prophesying: boldly proclaiming God’s word
  2. Serving: physical and spiritual help provided to others
  3. Teaching: applying information from the Bible in a clear, accurate and understanding way to others
  4. Encouraging: motivating others to take action and fulfill their purpose
  5. Giving: providing material and financial resources to others
  6. Leading: various Leadership Roles
  7. Showing Mercy: comforting those in need

What gift is mine?

When we work using the specific gift we were created for, our actions happen with ease, we are comfortable and enjoy what we are doing, using the gift feels natural to us, personally. The specific gift we were given is also something that others will notice in us, and likely tell us we seem so “natural” in our actions when operating in that way.

Life is complicated, but the overall simple goal and purpose for us is to Love. Love God and each other.

In summary: God created each of us for a specific purpose of His, and provides us unique gifts to fulfill His plan; which also means every person is very important and is here for a reason!

by Categories: Dating, entrepreneur, Face Fear, FAITH, FAMILY, Following Passions, FRIENDSHIP, HAPPINESS, Improvement, Letting Go, Love, Make It Count, RELATIONSHIPS, WellnessTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment