Tag: hurt

Surrender? (Next Steps/Resources)

I should probably explain “Surrender.”

YOUR LIFE IS NOT WHAT YOU WANTED OR EXPECTED

First you realize your life isn’t happening the way you anticipated: you’ve been “let down,” or you’ve let others down, there’s a feeling of pain, suffering, disappointment, hurt, guilt, shame, or lack of enjoyment in life and you simply want those feelings to “go away!” You tried to solve this by: escaping from reality (numbing through alcohol or drugs), keeping busy with work so there is no extra time, moving from place to place to try a new venue, accumulating wealth or material things, avoiding people in general, isolation, or having shallow relationships with people to keep from being hurt, going from one relationship to another hoping to solve the problem, making plans to fill every moment of your day so there is no extra time, health and fitness focus (while this is good, excessively done it can be “an escape”) or travel (exploring the world), doing something to “keep busy” all the time. While some of these things are not necessarily “bad,” when they are done in excess, they keep you “busy,” keep you busy from “healing” because you are avoiding the real underlying problem. I say this from my own personal experience. Ultimately, feeling like this is the result of a distant relationship with God. Maybe you know “of” Him, you may have the “head” knowledge but you are not close to Him (you don’t “trust/love/obey” Him); you haven’t “surrendered” or received the Holy Spirit yet. You have this longing for something that remains unfulfilled. After you’ve tried some, or all of the things mentioned above, there remains an emptiness, a loneliness and you don’t know what else to do so you may ask yourself: “Is this all there is to life?” “Is this what life is like forever?”

SURRENDER

If you are fortunate, sometime during this process (above), you hear about “surrendering” it all to God (either through a church or a friend, or maybe even someone online) asking God for forgiveness of your sin, trusting in what Jesus did for you on the cross (enabling you to have access to God’s kingdom; the only way) and asking for the Holy Spirit to guide your life so you don’t go back to sin, but continue seeking God AND can enter God’s Kingdom. Since nothing else was solving the “emptiness” you feel, you decide to give it a try so you say a “surrender prayer.” But then what?

If you’re simply repeating words someone told you to say; if it’s not heartfelt, please understand these are not “magical words” so don’t expect anything to change.

But, the good news is if you understood what you were asking, affirming and requesting and were sincere when you prayed to God, it will happen (eventually) because God will guide you, but this still involves your participation. This isn’t an instantaneous event. There’s a lot to get to know about God. When you form a relationship with someone, you don’t truly know them instantaneously; it takes time. The same is true with God; He reveals more as you seek Him.

NEXT STEPS

PRAY: Pray as often as possible. The Bible actually says “pray without ceasing.” This is our communication with God. How can you grow a relationship with someone or know someone if you rarely talk to them? (You won’t truly know a friend (God), you’ll end up distant from a friend (God)- you’ll end up where you started: unfulfilled.) Pray before you go to bed; thank God for the good things that happened that day, ask Him for help with the trouble. In the morning, ask Him to guide. And throughout the day, instead of going to anyone else, talk to God about it first.

READ THE BIBLE: So how do you get to know God more? The best way is through reading and studying the Bible (daily) because it is the Holy Spirit inspired word of God. Try a chapter a day, make a plan, read a little bit every day- directly from the bible. Get to know how the bible is organized: “The Bible is a library, not a book.” Here is a video to watch about this: YouTube video link If you don’t have a Bible yet, download a free one at this YouVersion Bible App If you want to get really deep into studying the Bible use this website: BlueLetterBible link If you want a hard copy study bible, this is an excellent resource because it features the most often asked questions and answers: hard copy Bible link Many people start with devotionals or books written by Christian Authors and while those are good and have a place and a purpose, they are a further step away from the Holy Spirit’s inspired words found only in the Bible. There is something supernatural that comes from reading the actual Bible. The Holy Spirit will enlighten a person with wisdom and understanding the more often you are actually reading the Word of God (the Bible). Think about this: how diluted do you want the content to be? If you’re going to read something, get as close to the original source as possible: the Bible. You will miss out on so much if you don’t read the actual Bible.

FIND A CHURCH: There are many changes happening in churches today unfortunately, some are not adhering to the Bible teachings; they want to please everyone so they selectively choose the truth found in scripture to suit what the people want to hear and they omit parts that people don’t want to hear. The Bible warns us about this: “For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.” 2 Timothy 4:3 Because of this, I believe it is most important to read the Bible first and know what the Bible says. If you go to a church, pay attention to this: are they reading directly from scripture and speaking from scripture? Double check what they say with the Bible because I’ve come across churches that are doing what 2 Timothy 4:3 mentions. During the past 5 years (after reading the entire bible in 2019) I have been continually seeking God, so I made a playlist of videos I watched or listened to that align with what the Bible teaches. This is a resource/playlist of videos that I still add to as I listen and find something “helpful” and in agreement with the bible. Listening to these will keep you busy, filling your mind with God for “years!” (Here’s the YouTube Playlist link: Seeking God; Biblical Knowledge Resources) Joining an online church might be the best solution if you don’t find a church nearby teaching truth. I’m hesitant to recommend a church not knowing if their teaching has changed since I last watched online. Within the playlist link, there are several different churches’ videos, so you will find some churches through the videos in that link. Those are the specific teachings that align with the Bible.

SEEK OUT GODLY FRIENDS: Join a bible based study group, get to know other people who want a relationship with God. As I said before, especially if you are new to reading the bible, find a study group who uses the Bible so you can grow in faith. “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.” Romans 10:17 Besides studying the word of God, the friends you make as you do this will be a source of strength, support, encouragement and celebrations.

RESOURCE- BOOK RECOMMENDATION: First and most importantly, read the Bible, but there are some helpful books that pull together numerous sections of the Bible, aggregating information on a specific topic (from the 40 different authors who wrote the books found in the Bible and inspired from the same Spirit) so these types of books (outside of the Bible) are helpful bringing together the “hidden gems” you will find throughout while reading the Bible.

Because receiving the Holy Spirit (after you believe) is necessary to be in God’s Kingdom, this following book is worth reading and is an excellent resource to better understand “receiving the Holy Spirit” and more. Remember: Jesus answered (Nicodemus), “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.” John 3:5.

“Who is the Holy Spirit?” Experiencing God’s power by Nancy Taylor & Philip Ryken (click here to buy this book on Amazon)

These “next steps” are what I found when I was seeking, I didn’t have a mentor guiding me to this, so that is what I mean when I said that “God will (eventually) lead you to these things” like He did me, but I also think because I didn’t have a mentor may be why it took me so many years from initially seeking to receiving the Holy Spirit (5 years!) I may have received the Holy Spirit sooner if I had done these “next steps” more quickly? It took me 3 years after I surrendered (although I realize now, I hadn’t 100% surrendered at that time) to actually read the Bible, and then another 2 years after that before I saw evidence of having received the Holy Spirit. This was when I fully surrendered, 100%, and was baptized in 2021. There is a significant difference in me today compared to me in 2017 and the Holy Spirit is the only one who made this happen! Take the next steps to make this happen in 2025 if you haven’t already; it will be worth it!

by Categories: bible study, FAITH, FAMILY, FITNESS, FRIENDSHIP, GOALS, God, HAPPINESS, Healing, Improvement, Letting Go, Love, Make It Count, prayer, priorities, RELATIONSHIPS, TRAVEL, WellnessTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

When Someone Hurts You…

Right now, find a personal peaceful place of momentary solitude and read or listen (on the podcast) to what I share in this letter. There are many times where having others around is good and positive, but for the moment, find a place and make some alone time for yourself, so you can think without being distracted or interrupted. I don’t know where you are in your beliefs, but what I’m about to share is what has been effective for me personally, when “life” didn’t always go as well as I wanted. I am 100% confident this will be effective for you too, but please be patient, it may or may not be a “quick fix,” depending on the depth of the “hurt” you experienced, but this will be an effective lasting healing. I sincerely hope you give this a try because it works and not only works, but in my opinion is the ONLY solution that will have a lasting healing from the “hurt”! I’m saying this from my personal experience, this will be the best thing in life that you ever did, if you follow through!

In your solitude, whether you have faith or not at this time, just please try this: quiet your thoughts and think about the words in this prayer and say this, directing it towards Jesus:

“Dear Jesus, I’m struggling with hurt (and anger) right now and I need discernment, strength, healing, wisdom and hope that only you can grant me. Please help and guide me through this time in my life.”

WHY JESUS?

As you probably know, the best person to get advice from is the person who has been through the experience and has overcome the experience successfully, so there is no one better to get advice from than Jesus, because he lived on earth and went through many things that we go through: He was tempted, he was abandoned, he was betrayed by those closest to him, he was murdered, people stole from him, people rejected him, people made fun of him, he was beaten, he experienced aloneness for 40 days , his closest friends didn’t support him, denied him, he felt physical pain, he was lied to (Peter his friend), he experienced hatred from others and MOST importantly: He SUCCESSFULLY overcame ALL this! I can’t think of anyone who experienced ALL these things and still came out on top, overcame all of it, can you? This is why Jesus is the ONLY one I go to for advice (through prayer)!

RELEASE YOUR FEELINGS

This is in private: tell Jesus everything (uncensored) because he knows it anyway- no one else needs to know. Be honest about everything, talk to him, because he already knows, it’s good to be honest about the hurt (and anger) or write it down (and tear up the paper, or burn it afterwards, but “pour” it all out, release all your feelings), and understand this hurt is TEMPORARY! It WILL get better. If we don’t express this hurt and anger, it can build up inside and come out later in ways we don’t want it to, if it’s not taken care of sooner, it will come out later.

DISCERNMENT ABOUT THE EVENT

This is one of the things asked for in the prayer above: discernment. Sometimes what happened can be confusing to us, we don’t understand why it happened, but we can be sure it happened due to evil: please be aware, we live in a world that is impacted by unseen forces (both good and evil) and there is a good probability that whoever hurt you has something evil influencing them. That is why we are told not to fight evil with evil, but to fight evil with good because the spirit of God (Only God is good) is more powerful and effective than we are and will conquer anything evil. If a person has unknowingly allowed evil access to our lives (through continual sin), evil is influencing and evil spirits can also possess a person and make them act in wicked ways. People who allow sin to remain in their lives do become slaves to evil. That’s why getting sin out of our lives is beneficial for us. Sin creates an open portal in us and allows much worse events to happen because it separates us from God. Only God can truly protect us from evil – that’s why we need to eliminate what separates us from God. These evil spirits bring with them into people: sickness, mental health issues, addictions, violence, etc. This is real, not a fairy tale. If you don’t believe this, you are simply in a “blind-state” about it at the moment, but Jesus will open your eyes, when you sincerely seek him. If we do not have God’s spirit residing within us, by default, we are vulnerable to evil, but we can change that by calling out to Jesus in prayer and asking for His Spirit, which he willing gives to those who ask with good intentions. There is no doubt that it’s evil behind what hurt us; God’s spirit (when residing within someone) will warn a person before they act in an evil way, but it is up to the person if they choose to respond to the guidance. Discernment is the ability to distinguish between good and evil, we have to know about this before we can understand this. Evil is deceiving, in fact it can portray itself as “an angel of light” but we can discern what is evil by what we see in action, this is called the “fruit” of the spirit, what the spirit of God “produces” in action (which will not be seen in a person influenced or enslaved by evil): “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galations 5:22-23

LET IT GO

This is where you’ll need the strength we asked for in prayer: to let it go. After the “hurt” happens, it served its purpose and it is time to move on, it is over, the damage is done: God will use it for good, if you are one of God’s children and God will restore you and bless you in some way. Sometimes bad things happen as lessons in life (teaching us), other times bad things happen to test our relationship with God- to see what decision we will make after it happens: do we get closer to Him? or do we reject Him? And other times bad things happen to us as punishment for what we have done (separating ourselves from God- through our continual sin, know that we all sin and we all are not and will not be perfect as long as we are alive), so God disciplines His children with the hopes that we learn from the discipline and change our ways before something worse happens. Changing our ways means living life with Jesus as our model, our example, looking up to him for how we should handle ourselves. (This information is scattered throughout the New Testament and best found in the gospels. I like the book/gospel of John because he was one of the 12 original disciples who followed Jesus. he personally felt like he was “the closest” to Jesus and you’re hearing about Jesus, from first hand physical experience- from one of Jesus’ friends.)

FORGIVE

The person who harmed us may never ask for forgiveness, but we still need to forgive them because if we don’t, God may hold back His forgiveness of us. We all have broken God’s commandments at some point during our lives, so we ALL are in need of His forgiveness. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean what they did was “okay” but if we use discernment, we see that what they did was purely out of evil influence in their life. In truth, they may need more help than us, but leave it to God. God is just and will justly take care of the offense, God tells us: “it is mine to avenge“. And this may not be the most Christian way to think about the outcome, but God’s wrath is much more severe than anything we could ever do, so leave it in God’s hands and trust that God will address it in the future. He will. He is trustworthy and just. We truly don’t want to be against Him for this same reason. It is a battle that will be lost.

REDIRECT YOUR FOCUS

What we surround ourselves with affects us. Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (Corinthians 15:33) The best way to deal with the hurt when it arises is through prayer: express it and ask for help. Reading or listening to scripture or teachings from the bible will take your mind off it and give you something more useful/productive as an alternate focus. The music you listen to affects us, so try a change, find something peaceful, not sad, and even better is to find worship music that sounds good to you. This will uplift and encourage you as it takes your mind off the hurt. If you like positive “pop, hip-hop” upbeat music, there is an app you can download and listen to anywhere you go: here is the link to the website: BOOST Radio is 24/7 Pop, Hip Hop & Hope. Clean hip hop and pop music. – BOOST Radio (myboostnation.com) here are some other options: Top 10 Christian Radio Stations (godtube.com) When you are ready to be around others, choose people who build you up in your relationship with Jesus. This is the way to have support and lasting healing: we need to stay connected to Jesus, that’s what he mean when he said: I am the vine and you are the branches; if we are not connected to him we will not have the spirit of God protecting and guiding us.

KNOW THE FUTURE

There is only one who knows the future and he is God. When Jesus was on earth, he told people about the kingdom God has prepared for those who come to God through Jesus. This time on earth is temporary, there is a future eternity where people who have God’s spirit residing in them will be changed in an instant (at the return of Jesus) and those people will be rewarded with an incredible immortal future in a beautiful NEW earth and heaven that is not broken, where there will be no suffering, no tears, no sadness, but only joy and happiness and it will be indescribable, magnificent. No one can adequately, effectively describe what God has in store, but this world has nothing to compare to it. So it will be amazing. God’s new earth and heaven will surpass any expectation because of who He is. Don’t worry about what happens here, this is simply a transition to something greater, focus on the future of what God has in store for us. It will be incredible! Here is a glimpse: Revelation 21 (NIV) – Then I saw a new (blueletterbible.org) and Revelation 22 (NIV) – Then the angel showed me (blueletterbible.org) Help those you love know about what is in store for them as well, if they choose God and trust in Jesus (who we get to know through reading the gospel)! Jesus told everyone: “I am the way the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me” John 14:16 ,

MY PRAYER FOR YOU

I pray that you are healed from your hurt and that God restores and blesses you in ways you can’t even comprehend right now, but when it happens, know that God did it! Through Jesus’ name, Amen.

by Categories: bible study, Dating, FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP, God, HAPPINESS, Improvement, Letting Go, Love, Make It Count, Marriage, Parents, priorities, RELATIONSHIPS, WellnessTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment