Tag: demanding

Growing up our thoughts about love and relationships are formed based on what we see in other relationships of those we are closest to as well as our personal experiences and just like first-time parents, we may, or may not, have been given the best instruction book for success due to this. People are obviously not perfect in example or in relationships in general.

I believe everyone at some point in their life wants a real “love” relationship experience, especially after getting hurt. But many of us don’t know what “love” truly is, we think we do (again based on what we see or experience), but that could be wrong. We may end up seeking advice from from friends, from books, from music, from others; but often that advice isn’t the best because it is based on other’s personal experiences and personally drawn conclusions, so it might not be applicable to us.

So there is honestly only 1 trustworthy author, who is a guaranteed, reliable source for real love knowledge, because none of us are perfect, or act perfect all the time, so we are not the best sources on love; we are imperfect sources. But God is. God is a trustworthy, guaranteed, eternal, reliable source for love and because of the following reasons:

• The Bible is inspired by God (through the Holy Spirit, the source of Wisdom) (2 Timothy 3:16) (Isaiah 11:2)
• The Bible is truth, so that’s the only resource for trusted information. (John 17:17)
• The Bible tells us: “God is Love” (1 John 4:8), so going straight to the source of Love is the best place for information.
• According to the Guinness Book of World Records as of 1995, the Bible is the best-selling book of all time with an estimated 5 billion copies sold and distributed. The bible has sold billions of copies and is the best selling book of all time- according to World Atlas as of 2018 also.

So what does the Bible tell us about real love?

• First God is love and loves us. (Deuteronomy 23:5, Romans 5:5, John 1:17, 1 Thessalonians 1:4, 1 John 4:9 and hundreds of more verses in the Bible) God is perfect, so love described in the Bible is the ONLY perfect, real love.
• Secondly, Jesus told us the most important choice we can make is: Loving God and loving others (Mark 12 29:31) so we should understand what real love means because it WILL affect us.

So how do we know (recognize) real love and how do we show real love to others?

• Love is Patient (1 Corinthians 13: 4) – someone who loves shows patience is calm, forgiving, gentle, quiet, tolerant, submissive, persistent, understanding, accommodating, composed, easy-going, even-tempered, untiring, willing to endure, lenient, mild-tempered, persevering, serene
• Love is Kind (1 Corinthians 13:4) – someone who is kind: affectionate, amiable, charitable, compassionate, considerate, cordial, courteous, friendly, gentle, gracious, humane, kindhearted, loving, sympathetic, thoughtful, tolerant, humanitarian, understanding
• Love is NOT jealous (1 Corinthians 13:4): it is calm, content, undoubting, unworried, confident, satisfied, trusting, unresentful
• Love is NOT boastful (1 Corinthians 13:4): it is humble, modest, unconceited
• Love is NOT proud (1 Corinthians 13:4); it is humble, meek, modest
• Love is NOT rude (1 Corinthians 13:5); it is decent, gentle, nice, polite, refined, sophisticated, mannerly, respectful
• Love does NOT demand its own way (1 Corinthians 13: 5); it is easy, flexible, nice, simple, tolerant, yielding, unchallenging
• Love is NOT irritable (1 Corinthians 13: 5); it is happy, pleasant, cheerful, nice
• Love keeps no record of being wronged (1 Corinthians 13:5); love forgives and doesn’t remind someone of the past
• Love supports justice (1 Corinthians 13: 6): it is honesty, integrity, truth
• Love never gives-up (1 Corinthians 13:7); it compliments, praises, helps, initiates, cares, maintains, continues, fights for, holds on, accepts, embraces, joins, stays, remains, pursues, encourages, grows, builds, defends, treasures, guards, protects, validates, builds up, stabilizes, strengthens, remains, waits, supports
• Love never loses faith (1 Corinthians 13:7); love has belief, confidence, hope, loyalty, truth, allegiance, assurance, certainty, constancy, fidelity
• Love is always hopeful (1 Corinthians 13: 7); confident, cheerful, comfortable, eager, enthusiastic, trusting, upbeat, calm, content, faithful, reassuring, forward-looking, serene, encouraging, exciting, uplifting, enlivening, inspiring
• Love endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:7); it bears hardships and survives, it sustains, weathers, withstands, supports, is patient through circumstances, copes, hangs on, puts up with, persists, remains, stays, lasts, has no end, love lasts FOREVER

Love is NOT:

demanding, pushy, loud, rough, troubled, violent, wild, frustrated, impatient, intolerant, unwilling, aloof, antagonistic, cold, cruel, disagreeable, discourteous, hard, harsh, hateful, inattentive, inconsiderate, indifferent, inhumane, mean, merciless, nasty, rough, rude, thoughtless, uncaring, uncompassionate, unfeeling, unfriendly, unkind, unsociable, violent, bitter, jealous, anxious, apprehensive, envious, intolerant, possessive, skeptical, suspicious, doubting, grabby, guarded, mistrustful, monopolizing, possessory, questioning, boastful, arrogant, cocky, pompous, pretentious, big-headed, conceited, egotistical, hifalutin, know-it-all, hot stuff, loudmouth, self-applauding, smart-alecky, snooty, stuck-up, swanky, imposing, feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something regarded highly valuable, feeling of superiority, abusive, blunt, crude, impolite, insulting, intrusive, obscene, vulgar, abrupt, bad-mannered, discourteous, inconsiderate, savage, challenging, urgent, critical, difficult, exhausting, hard, onerous, pressing, strict, taxing, tough, troublesome, trying, nagging, wearing, bothersome, dictatorial, fussy, grievous, insistent, oppressive, annoyed, resentful, testy, cantankerous, complaining, dissatisfied, easily offended, gloomy, grouchy, grumbling, hasty, huffy, hypercritical, moody, ill-humored, oversensitive, quick-tempered, sensitive, tense, touchy, corrupt, dishonest, lawlessness, unethical, unfair, partiality, abandoning, leaving alone, quitting, dropping, deserting, backing out, avoiding, keeping from, withdrawing, leaving hanging, calling it quits, backing off, copping out, holding back, getting “cold feet,” letting go, discarding, dumping, aborting, ignoring, disloyal, dishonest, doubtful, inconsistent, uncertain, rejecting, skeptic, apathetic, depressed, disinterested, down, hopeless, pessimistic, sad, unenthusiastic, unhappy, desperate, despondent, fearful, gloomy

After reading about real love from the Bible, was it what you thought it was?

Love was defined differently than I would have described it. It was enlightening for me the first time I read it. After reading it, I don’t think any of us are born being truly loving people, it’s not natural, we are much more self-centered (think about babies) Love is something we learn overtime by practicing it and choosing it over what real love is not. Real love is a choice we make, not a feeling we feel. The “feeling” by itself is lust; it’s not love. Love is a choice of compassion.

This knowledge is helpful when evaluating “love” and evaluating ourselves in life- how loving are we? And definitely knowledge we need to comprehend before we make a life time commitment to someone; both parties deserve that.