Category: Face Fear

While Single, think about this…

I’ve been wanting to write about this for a few years but have held back for many reasons, or have lightly touched on this topic in some of the first blogs I wrote because it’s a very sensitive subject and people have strong personal opinions and views of this. I hope what I write reaches at least one person and gives something to think about, then has a positive impact. “Life Lessons” is an appropriate summary.

I know you may not agree with this right away, but I’ve learned the hard way (from experience) so I think it’s true:

We keep receiving the same lessons in life until we learn from them.

Whoever is single right now will probably agree with this statement: there are a lot of messed up people out there. (LOL) But the irony in that statement is we all are a little messed up and in different stages of life. Different stages of life meaning: emotional maturity and spiritual maturity. This is really a personal issue, not always necessarily a “someone else” issue. If we are emotionally immature we may say it’s someone else’s issue, but it truly does start with taking an honest look at ourselves and realizing areas where we could be a better person (how an emotionally mature person would view it).

Some people become more laid back, easy going, the older they get, but some can be in their 90’s and still emotionally immature, so age doesn’t always guarantee emotional maturity, only physical maturity. I have seen how growing in spiritual maturity helps a person grow in emotional maturity and the opposite of that too: how someone who is not growing in spiritual maturity often lacks emotional maturity.

Love being single:

There are some people who enjoy being single, love the freedom and don’t want the obligation of a commitment. If a person truly stays single, only has friendships (without the ‘benefits’) that’s a choice and there is nothing wrong with that.

Claims to love being single:

There are those who claim to want to remain single, love the freedom, but then pursue someone, become involved with a person, or multiple people, then wreak havoc in other(s) lives. Someone who does this is not emotionally or spiritually mature and will continually be unsatisfied with life, constantly seeking happiness, but only finding fleeting moments, then frustration. And because those moments don’t last perpetually, it’s a lifetime cycle of this. (This is a selfish person)

Love being in a relationship:

There are some people who constantly need to be in a relationship. They feel insecure alone, so they jump from one “committed” relationship to another. Again, this person isn’t emotionally or spiritually mature to be comfortable being “single” so this person is very “needy” to the other person and exhausts them. This person is using the other person. (This is a selfish person)

Casual relationships:

There are some people who take a very casual approach to relationships. They just want the “high” they get from physical pleasure, and are truly never satisfied for very long. I don’t think emotionally mature is an accurate description of this, emotionally “numb” better describes it and also spiritually immature. (These are selfish people)

In all but the first example, a person typically ends up frustrated, or heartbroken, depending on which end you’re on. From experience, I believe before a person starts dating, it’s best to first work on spiritual maturity (which automatically grows emotional maturity), if you want to have a healthy/good relationship with someone someday.

The most important choice we will make in life is to choose God or reject God because that choice has eternal consequences. Everything else is temporary. If we choose God; He must be THE priority in our life.

I made mistakes in life. I didn’t do things this way, but life could have been a lot better if I had the order right from the start.

Start with God, seek Him in personal prayer, read and study the bible (know what’s in it), then make a decision: do you want what it offers? (How to get to Heaven) Do you believe it? If you believe, then ask God to take over EVERYTHING in your life, literally let go of control (we don’t really have control anyway) and give it to God. Basically, this means getting rid of pride, surrendering to God. Once you truly comprehend and believe, you will appreciate what Jesus did and you’ll want to show appreciation. God wants us to show our appreciation (love) by choosing to obey the 10 Commandments. At the same time, God knows we won’t be perfect at this, but He sees our true “hidden” intentions. If we choose to obey, God is forgiving when our intentions are good but we realize we made a mistake and ask for forgiveness and try again to do things better next time. If we choose to obey the Commandments, we can also ask God for the Holy Spirit’s power in helping us keep them. (These recommendations are not my personal thoughts, this is a summary from reading the bible.)

Once you have this knowledge, I am absolutely certain you will view life differently. It will cause you to view ALL relationships differently. The bible is a resource for living life; there are answers to the most important questions in life in it. It will help you become a better person, understand what love is, how to show love, it will help you identify and avoid red flags in people, it will prepare you for marriage (if that is your future intent) and knowing God will bring about a hard to explain “peace” when you wouldn’t have that “peace” without God. This is one of those experiences that can’t be explained, until you feel it for yourself. Don’t waste your time while you are single with meaningless activity; use it to improve your future life (and others). God gives blessings to those who will be blessings to others.

by Categories: Dating, Face Fear, FAITH, FRIENDSHIP, God, HAPPINESS, Improvement, Letting Go, Love, Make It Count, Marriage, priorities, RELATIONSHIPS, Sex, WellnessTags: , 1 Comment

Conditioned by Tradition? Like a Zombie?

Three nights ago, I woke up at 2 am feeling like I already slept 8-10 hours and it was time to wake up. When I saw what time it was, I tried to fall back asleep, but that didn’t work either, so I wrote down what came into my thoughts (the Title of this) and decided I’d write about it later. I didn’t want to mess up the next day by being tired all day. The last time I looked, it was 4:30 am. I fell back asleep but had a weird dream that I woke from that morning too. I guess I should have written this at 2 am!

“Conditioned by Tradition” describes what it seems we are. We are like Zombies when it comes to the way we live, what is acceptable, promoted today, just going along with the crowd, influencers, whatever is being “messaged” to us in our culture and accepting it, living it. It is concerning because it seems like some, or many, people are manipulated by it, completely unaware. The “zombie” analogy fits because it’s a figurative representation of those spiritually, walking dead, unaware of where they are headed. I think we are all in that condition, until we realize why we are here, what our purpose is and learn about the past (the beginning of earth). We’ve seen super hero movie scripts about good vs. evil, so that perpetuates the thought in us, making it easy for us to think this spiritual war is fictional, make believe, etc. But is it really?

If you read the bible, it tells us there is an unseen war that has been happening, continues today and will continue until the end of the earth: a spiritual war. And before you immediately reject what I’m saying, even if you are an atheist, you realize things you can’t see do exist. I’ll give a few examples: air, gravity, sound waves, and oxygen. Individually we are such a small part of our community, city, nation, continent, earth, and the universe. There is so much complexity, so much order, so much magnificence- this universe was not an accident . There is so much to say about that subject, but I don’t want to get side tracked.

To continue with the “conditioned by tradition,” thought, we need to accept the possibility of a spiritual warfare …so what is this war about? It’s about us and who “owns” us. Yes, that’s another concept we need to accept: we are owned by one or the other: by God or evil. If we are not with God, we are a slave to evil; Jesus explains this.

The links in the prior paragraph will explain this further (directly from the bible verses). When we comprehend this, then we see the manipulation that’s already transpired, notice it as it’s transpiring and also see those who are manipulated, thinking they are “free” but actually are “enslaved” Remember: Love is a choice; God gives us the choice; God is love. That is freedom. We choose it.

Getting back to “conditioned by tradition,” we are blind to many evil things, deception and manipulation that are now a part of our culture and tradition. For example, when was the last time you thought about the words in some nursery rhymes? Just why? Then we have Easter coming up this weekend. This is the most important Christian Holiday because this is when (we) God’s children (past, present and future) were “purchased” through Jesus’ death on the cross. Jesus was the sacrifice that was accepted as “payment” for God’s children. So of course this holiday is even marred by taking the focus off Jesus and putting it on eggs, bunnies, candy and whatever. It’s interesting how some pagan traditions just casually blended in and today, it’s just normal, most of us probably never thought much about it: “conditioned by tradition”. The celebrations aren’t “bad” unless we allow them take the focus off Jesus. This day/celebration commemorates the greatest gift we’ve ever been offered, and many people don’t even comprehend this, therefore can’t appreciate this.

I hope and pray that more people begin to realize our purpose here on earth, how God is trying to reach us, how much He loves us and wants us to be a part of His Kingdom. Pay attention to the “conditioned by tradition” and don’t let it happen to you.

UPDATE: March 30, 2022 (almost a year to the date that this post was first published) so I felt compelled to update this post. I was raised Catholic and realized what is contained in this video on my own without anyone pointing it out to me; and it shocked me! This video is definitely worth watching: YouTube Video Link click here.

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Heaven or Hell?

I’m back again! I started this topic through IGTV but after a day of posting and then watching a “documentary” last night about “Evangelical Christian Fanatics” I thought I better have a back up, so the videos aren’t taken out of context. Anyone who wants to “discredit” a person can easily take “snippets” of a video out of context and use it to harm them. This topic will be a sensitive topic for many people because “truth hurts”: we don’t want to see ourselves anything less than “good,” HOWEVER, despite our shortcomings, God still loves each and everyone of us in our current state and hopes that we CHOOSE to love Him back, but He doesn’t force this; it remains our choice until we die, then our choice is “sealed” for its destiny!

For me, the most critical aspect/”take away” from reading the Bible (from a selfish viewpoint, which we all have; we want to know: “what’s in it for us?”) is:

There is eternity and it’s either Heaven or Hell.

Matthew 25:46

For me, the most important aspect from reading the Bible is God’s love for us. It’s hard to find that unconditional love from anyone here on earth, that’s for sure, haha, but we have it from one source: God.

There are so many lessons, insights, wisdom and teachings from the Bible. And there are many different interpretations of the Bible from various religions. Personally, I don’t affiliate with ANY religious denomination because I don’t believe we should be divided, we should simply be Christians. I believe what is in the Bible (this also is a choice: to “believe” this) and when it comes to interpreting/understanding confusing topics, I believe we should first pray to God requesting clarity and understanding from Him. It doesn’t hurt to talk to others who are educated on the subject matter to hear their interpretation about a subject, but before we accept what they say, pray to God and ask God to show us the truth in a personal way. The most important question I wanted the answer to is:

How do I get to Heaven?

  1. We must accept, acknowledge that Jesus is the way to God, here is the supporting information from the Bible:

2. We must TAKE ACTION: Repent. (if you want to go to Heaven, those who didn’t repent were/are destroyed) here is the supporting scripture:

3. We must TAKE ACTION: Get Baptized. Even Jesus was baptized, surprisingly. Why? Because He was here to show others the way to eternal life (Heaven) and to lead others by His example. In that same way, he wants Christians to be a living example to others, but since we are not perfect, when we don’t live how God intends, we become a bad example and do more harm than good. This is a commitment that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Baptism is an outward sign to others that we have surrendered to God and choose to live as He instructed. Jesus showed us the ultimate surrender, He prayed and asked God twice if it was possible, to take away His suffering, but also in the same prayer submitted to God’s will, as the prophesized sacrifice who would “atone” for all our sins by His death on the cross and resurrection thereafter. When we sincerely intend to live this way, it is a sacrifice, a living sacrifice but God offers us help through the Holy Spirit giving power, that others do not have or receive.

4. We must TAKE ACTION: Then pray to God and for the Holy Spirit.

5. We must TAKE ACTION: Obey God’s Commands. This subject will be my next article because there is too much detail about what this means to cover here, so I’m only showing the scripture that tells us we need to obey God’s commands:

In summary and what the Bible tells us about Heaven (eternal life) here are a few quotes from scripture about eternity:

Believe what you want; it is your choice. After I read the Bible, began studying it, and continued praying; I ended up believing. It changed my prior beliefs. As I always remind people: God did not and does not force anyone to believe this, so neither should any of us (force our beliefs on others). But I do believe we have an obligation to let others know what we have learned because it may become important to them; then they can make their own choice. The relationship with God is personal anyway. Love is a choice and that’s the greatest commandment that God gave us: to love God and love others….which means allowing people to make their own choice.

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Should We Trust our Feelings?

Should we trust our feelings? My guess is anyone reading that question will have a number of reactions, such as: “YES!!!!“or “NOOO!!!!” or “I have no idea; I’m confused, help!” So what is the Truth? How do we know which answer is the correct one? These answers are provided below.

  1. Should we always trust our feelings? The Truth is NO.

2. Are there times we should trust our feelings? YES. Then, when? See below.

3. What if we are confused? How can we determine the correct answer? See below.

When Trusting your Feelings is Wrong:

Let’s be honest. Since the day we were born, we started out selfish, self-centered, right? All of us were born that way. If and when we grow and mature (emotionally, not in years), we become less self centered/selfish, but it takes intention and effort to grow and mature, it doesn’t come naturally, just like growth in anything else (such as working out, eating healthy, growing a business, relationships) : “no pain, no gain.”

So a simple question to ask ourselves is: Is my feeling motivated by self-centeredness, selfishness? If the answer to this is “yes” then trusting your feelings is wrong. Spend time being honest with yourself about the answer to this question. Don’t lie to yourself, be honest.

When Trusting your Feelings is Right:

With the same question above, we can know if trusting our feelings is right. Is my feeling motivated by selflessness, driven by loving , contributing to or helping others? If the answer to this is “yes” then trusting your feelings is right.

What if the motivation behind the feeling is selfless, driven by love, contribution or helping others but FEAR is holding me back? Fear can a blocker to something good or it can be something that protects us. If the reason behind the fear has to do with a life or death situation then trust your fear! But if not, do not let fear guide you, it is BLOCKING YOU from growth. Say you are motivated for the right reasons and you don’t submit to fear, you proceed, then something doesn’t work out as you planned? That was still the right thing to do because it is growth. We grow when we go through tough times, we come out better! As many say: if we’re not growing, we’re dying! We can’t be doing neither, think about it. Don’t let the wrong kind of fear hold you back.

When your Feelings are Confusing you:

This is the hardest one! Confusion is telling us to: WAIT, HAVE PATIENCE, but most of all PRAY! If the answer isn’t clear after reading the above testing question to know if trusting our feelings is wrong or right, then our situation is more complicated (based on the bible, confusion occurs when unrepentant sin in involved) and we need may need forgiveness and guidance from God. Waiting does not mean do nothing, it means slow down, pause, be patient but take action in prayer right away. Talk to God about it from the deepest most honest, vulnerable part of ourselves. This is between you/me and God alone, no one else. God will give us clarity eventually. But don’t “do nothing” during this time of “waiting and patience” pray about it often until clarity is received, not “a feeling,” but unquestionable clarity. Confusion is due to sin, according to the Bible. So where do we get this clarity? From God’s word, the bible. This is the coolest, most awesome thing to discover! It seriously has all the answers to the complicated questions and it is the truth.

I wasn’t taught to go to the bible for answers to questions until recently. I didn’t use it as a resource (ever) quite honestly, but once I discovered this, I am so thankful because it answers so many questions. Today, there is no excuse for not having this resource, if you have access to the internet. Some of the bible is hard to understand the first time reading. To truly know the meaning behind a quote you see, you need to read it in context so you get the full understanding. Even when you do that for the first time, there may be questions. This is where other people can help. Not necessarily by giving their interpretation of the bible, but by directing us to other passages that answer our questions. Be VERY cautious of people who interpret the Bible, don’t take their word, but ask questions, pray about it, then you will know. There are many people today who give their opinions, don’t trust “opinions” only trust facts. Facts are found by reading the bible and through prayer. Many people are misguided but can be convincing so they will give us the wrong information and lead us down a path of destruction. Sometimes people truly have good intentions, but are still not correct. Look for answers in the bible and through prayer.

I hope considering these simple questions helps. I’ve added resources and references next:

RESOURCES

A few different FREE online bible resources (check them out to see what you like best):

Selfishness “Wisdom” from the Bible:

THE “RIGHT” FEELINGS TO FOLLOW ARE MOTIVATED BY SELFLESSNESS AND LOVE- FROM THE BIBLE:

FEAR ADDRESSED IN THE BIBLE:

HOW TO DEAL WITH CONFUSION AND TIMES OF CONFUSION (CAUSED BY SIN) – FROM THE BIBLE:

FIRST SEEK GOD – FROM THE BIBLE:

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2021 is Our “Do Over” Year

2021 is our “Do Over” Year

….with that in mind we have something to celebrate:

Happy New Year: Day 1 of the year 2021!

2020 gave many of us a “ feeling” of “being defeated” during the course of that year. But we probably all learned something from the things that happened, especially those events that were “out of our control.”

Life (physically) is meant to be out of our control (God decides), but our eternal life (spiritually) is within our control. We have freedom of choice: we get to choose eternal life or reject eternal life (but rejecting eternal life, by default, means choosing eternal torment, even if we don’t want to accept this, or believe it, it is the truth and a reality we all will face). The second phase of life is way more valuable to us than the first. If you’re reading this: you and I get a “do over” starting today: Day 1 of the year 2021. That’s something to be thankful and grateful for right now!

I’m looking forward to 2021 with a new mindset based on what I learned during 2020.

I’m heading into 2021 with: A positive mindset having no fear of the future (because I’m under God’s protection), knowing there is a place of true peace in my future even when it isn’t peaceful here and now it will be (with God in eternity), knowing I’m in control of my destiny based on my decisions regarding the most important aspect of my life (eternity) no matter what happens outside my control.

NEW YEAR GOALS: With every future important decision, these are questions I will use when evaluating what is the right direction (for important matters). I never gave much thought to this before, but just now realized, the only important decisions are ones that affect God or other people! If these questions below don’t apply, then the choice probably doesn’t matter for the most important phase of my life: eternity and whatever I choose is truly okay.

2021 questions:

1. Am I making this decision out of love? Not the “feeling,” but the love that God wants us to give Him and others (our obedience to His commands: 10 Commandments) that proves we love God. As I linked the Bible scripture to the 10 Commandments, I noticed something: it’s from the 20th book through verse 21! 2021! (that’s nothing more than an easy way to remember where the 10 Commandments are located: Exodus 20: 1-21)

2. Will my decision or action do something that will create some sort of joy (for God or someone else)?

3. Will my decision lead or create peace? (Blessed are the peacemakers)

4. Am I being patient? Not forcing something for my own selfish reasons? I need to have patience.

5. Is this kind?

6. Is this good? (From God’s value system)

7. Does this show faithfulness and loyalty to God?

8. Am I handling this decision in a gentle manner if it involves someone else?

9. Am I being impulsive? Should I take more time to make the decision?

The questions above relate to characteristics regarding “the fruit” of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5: 22-23). When we have a relationship with God (which is what I choose/want), those characteristics are present, so if we want to make “the right” decisions for our life, we can use those questions to direct our actions (what we control).

Getting back to eternal life: Jesus said, the only way to eternal life is through Him/Jesus and to be born again. Being born again is a spiritual birth, a new “person,” a new way of thinking, a new mindset, it means surrendering to God by doing what is right (read the last sentence again), changing our ways to God’s ways (this is Baptism), then we are prepared to receive the Holy Spirit’s gifts. If we don’t change our ways (become a “new” born again person), we can’t receive the Holy Spirit’s gifts and if we don’t change our ways/surrender to God, that’s when we might hear from Jesus: “I never knew you.” on Judgement Day.

If we don’t obey, then we won’t receive the gifts of Holy Spirit (these gifts are provided so we can help each other/be of service to one another, the gifts are for service to others, not for our own benefit) and as Jesus said we have to ask for this. The gifts from the Holy Spirit are different for different people (not everyone receives the same gift).

To summarize, I’m starting 2021 with a new mindset: A mind set on eternity, because 2020 woke me up and made me realize I was given additional time and the opportunity to change my future in a positive direction. Happy New Year!

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Churches, Christians, Depression & the Truth

Ever think some events happen for a reason? Several months ago, maybe a year ago, I came across someone through social media who challenged my belief in God and the Bible. Having read the Bible for the first time a year ago, I’m obviously not a biblical scholar, but I knew of resources with scripture that could “prove” the Bible is truth, outside simple logic (from understanding the purpose of the Bible). That person believed the Bible was created for manipulating and controlling a population (which doesn’t make sense because if that was the purpose, then there wouldn’t have been killings of Believers in the Bible). This person rejected what I sent because the person wasn’t open to exploring and understanding the Bible (being spiritually blind is talked about in the Bible), but their mind was so strongly convinced of this mis-information, it puzzled me. Their belief was SO strong against the Bible, it didn’t make sense to continue the conversation for very long, Faith is a choice: believe or don’t believe, but there are consequences for either choice.

From the Church to Atheism

It turned out this person had multiple negative experiences in their church, so they left the church and things weren’t going well in their life, but since they left the church they said “life is so much easier.” (This makes sense too when you understand spiritual warfare). When I first came across this person, they were promoting atheism after formerly being in some kind of a church. Finding that out was very sad to me because I know the truth found in the Bible (and if they would only consider it, it would BENEFIT them), but they had so much resistance due to their experience, they weren’t open to even viewing those resources. They didn’t believe what was written in the Bible. I see that with many people lately: strong resistance to biblical information and truth. (Is this part of spiritual warfare?)

Lack of Trust

The unfortunate reason many give is “a church experience” which I completely understand, having had that experience myself. Most often the reason given involves lack of trust. Lack of trust is what holds people back from numerous experiences in life, for good reasons too: based on experiences, but it’s not good when it holds people back from something GOOD. That needs to change. This is one of the reasons why I believe it is so important to read the bible individually. Each of us needs to know what’s in the bible so that we are not misled by anyone distorting the information in the Bible. Reading the Bible isn’t a quick read, so if you hear someone say something, look it up, read the entire chapter or the book if necessary so it’s not taken out of context, that way you’ll eventually get through some of the Bible, a little at a time. A little is better than none.

Christians

Christians also turn people away if there is a negative interaction. I’ve seen this first hand from both sides too! Meaning I’ve been just as bad as a Christian of not having a good interaction with those closest to me. So I’d like to explain what happened in my experiences. BEING PURSUED: A person who has never read the Bible may not fully understand a scripture quote, so the scripture doesn’t seem relevant to that person, there is more needed context in the Bible before the quote is clearly understood. (That was my experience) Or maybe the person simply has no interest because they don’t understand the Bible’s purpose, so they are not ready to hear it? Or they are afraid there are too many rules they may need to abide by (I think this is many people) PURSUING: From a “newly” Christian’s perspective, when I found out the purpose of the Bible, I especially wanted to tell those closest to me, and I felt an urgency too. I’ve finally realized I have this internal drive to “protect” people. Most ‘person to person” contact about Christianity isn’t from a selfish, self-serving or self-centered motivation, it is because the person truly cares about the other person, but needs to learn a more successful way of communicating.

Depression/Anxiety

This is something I haven’t seen very often mentioned, but something people should know. Depression, anxiety or sadness can bring us to God, but it can also separate us from God. Often when we seek God, it’s a response to something bad that’s happened in our lives. We look to God to “fix it” for us, as the last resource. In reality, God should be our first resource, but initially He is often the last resource in a time of hardship. Reaching out to God (through prayer) is the best solution because He certainly has the ability to “fix” it for us. But we have to remember: He’s not a “vending machine” or a “genie” there to “grant our wishes” either. He wants a relationship with us first and foremost. Think about how we feel when someone just wants to take from us but never wants to give, it makes sense when looking at it from that perspective, doesn’t it? Depression/Anxiety/Sadness can also separate us from God if we are angry with everyone and God. Identifying the underlying source of the anxiety is the most important part in dealing with it. (see image)

Based on my personal experience, I thought if I simply surrendered to God everything would get better, but it didn’t, it started getting worse. I didn’t consider, or know about, the underlying sources of anxiety when it happened unfortunately or I could have dealt with it much more quickly. Little by little parts of this information was revealed as I was studying/reading the Bible. Ironically, my first start to reading the Bible, I opened the Bible to a random page and decided I would start there. It was the book of Job- and it explained a little bit about the spiritual warfare. What better time is it for something evil to “hit” a person then when the person is first surrendering to Jesus, right? That could easily turn a person away from God. The book of Job is good in understanding this because it showed these bad things can be a “test” of faith. Also the Bible often tells us there is a battle for our minds, so negative thoughts, fears, anger, sin, depression can be present to try to separate us from God. Please understand this so if it happens to you reject those “attacks” and pray to God to overcome them.

The Truth

Each of us was created by God, out of love. No person is accidently created; God is the Giver of Life and intentional in giving life to a person. God wants us to seek Him and communicate with Him through prayers, building a relationship. Once we have a relationship with God, He also wants us to help others. God has a purpose for each person He creates, each of us is valuable to God, it may take us awhile to figure out our purpose, but that’s just part of the growth process. The Bible is a resource, a guidebook for life, with the “secret” to eternal life for those who read it and take action. Eternity is not just about life, it can also be eternal pain, if we don’t choose to have a relationship with God. The Bible reveals some aspects of the spiritual realm. It contains thousands of prophecies that happened already, but also has prophecies regarding the future. A “Believer” is more than someone who simply believes Jesus, the Son of God existed, died for us, rose from the dead and ascended to Heaven after His physical death so that we could have eternal life with God. “Believer” means someone who understands that and out of immense gratitude decides to live in a godly way, choosing Jesus as the role model of how to live. The Bible is a resource showing us how Jesus lived and what He taught. The Bible is wisdom and essential for every single person.

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