GRATITUDE: 5 WAYS TO FIND IT

The Thanksgiving Holiday is coming up this month, for what are we thankful?

That feeling of being thankful, especially when faced with unexpected changes, challenges, disappointments or failures can be absent from our thinking, but we can find gratitude.  These unexpected changes, challenges, disappointments or failures are part of life and affect us, but how we deal with them is entirely our choice and within our control.  Our minds and mindsets are very powerful and will affect our lives in a good way or a bad way; the choice is ours.

So, how do we find gratitude?

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1-INSPIRING EXAMPLES- PEOPLE WHO OVERCOME CHALLENGES OR MENTOR US

If you want gratitude, it doesn’t take long to find amazing people who overcome challenges, sometimes greater challenges than we are facing, so by those inspirational examples, we find ways to be thankful.

Did you ever meet someone who was faced with tremendous challenges in some way, but focused on the positive, and then became amazing and inspirational? We set the limits of what we can become or do.  If our environment is negative, we need to find more positive people to be around, we can also read about positive, inspirational people, if unable to find them near us.  We are so lucky to have Internet access because this gives us a convenient way to find positive and motivating people.  Watch movies: there so many positive, inspirational stories that can help change your viewpoint to one of gratitude.  Some examples that come to mind are:

Soul Surfer

The Help

The Pursuit of Happyness

The Blindside

John O’Leary, On Fire

I believe there is greatness within every person, as well as tremendous potential.  It is a matter of our focus whether we achieve. Some will choose to let those challenges, disappointments or failures affect and control them and see everything negative and others will choose to use those challenges, disappointments or failures propelling to the next level and improving, understanding that we can be thankful for the challenges, disappointments or failures because we they make us stronger and cause us to improve when we decide to overcome them.  I’ve met some people in day to day life that once I learned their story of challenges, I couldn’t believe how they could be so positive and thankful. It is a choice.

Think about the people in our lives who have done something positive for us by:  listening, helping, inspiring, encouraging, teaching, motivating or entertaining us. We can be grateful for them!

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2- REALIZE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL OR CAN BE BEAUTIFUL – IT’S A CHOICE, NOT SOMETHING YOU WERE GIVEN AT BIRTH

Sometimes it’s the people who had the most incredible struggles who are the most beautiful people.  Inner beauty dominates outer beauty – think about that:  we were created with certain physical attributes and features, but the inner beauty is something that we create.  Sure, there is plastic surgery that can change outer beauty, but did you ever see an outwardly beautiful person and then get to know them and realize their inner beauty isn’t developed? Inner beauty is personality, respect, honesty, confidence, happiness, actively helping others, being attentive, listening, compassion for others, kindness, awareness, peacefulness, and how one uses the unique talent, gift, ability each person has that makes them a one of a kind. This inner beauty affects how beautiful people appear to us; if it’s undeveloped, it lessens the beauty we see or makes them unattractive. Knowing that; everyone has the opportunity to be thankful for being beautiful because we can make that happen,but if it hasn’t already happened: focus on inner beauty:  Inner Beauty dominates Outer Beauty.

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3- GET OUTDOORS

We are fortunate to have nearby parks in the US wherever we live.   So, use them, detach from technology, go for a walk, a run, a hike and take time to notice the surroundings.  So often we are in a rush, so we pass by beautiful things we have right in front of us.  We can be thankful for the natural beauty we experience: the colors we see, waterfalls, lakes, rivers, oceans, the changes in seasons, beaches, forests, mountains, deserts, and the sky and: sunrises, sunsets, clouds, stars.

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4- GO TRAVEL

Travel can produce gratitude.  We may find incredible places, views, people and then become thankful for those moments. Or we may see conditions we never experienced before making us grateful for what we have at home.  The travel can be near or far; either way we will get this experience; just go someplace new where you haven’t been before for the most impact.

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5- VOLUNTEER

Sometimes the greatest gift we ever receive comes from helping others and seeing the impact made on others.  Volunteering opportunities are everywhere and there is usually a shortage of volunteers. Find some cause that appeals to you and get involved, you will be thankful and so will others.  Focusing on others also helps us avoid any self-pity reflection of circumstances which is counterproductive to feeling thankful.

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REMINDERS

Once you identify what you are grateful for, write it down as a reminder to keep with you and stay focused on the positive; because we all need reminders now and then when things don’t go well!

Make It Count!

This picture of Andy K. was taken in 2014, on this date, two years ago. I’ve told the story leading up to this picture several times now, but it is worth retelling for many reasons.

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Andy K.

HALLOWEEN PARTY

A bunch of  high school freshman friends decided they were going to go trick-r-treating at the very last minute at a Halloween party we were hosting.  So they needed something to carry, we had collected several Halloween bags over the years and stored in the basement. So everyone went down to the basement and I was handing out bags. Andy was the last one and the only one I had left was this “girly” “Hello Kitty” bag, so I just started laughing and said to him, something like, “you’re not going to want this one, are you?”  and he replied something like, “sure, why not? I’ll use it!”  and he did.  I was really impressed by his confidence, he truly didn’t mind and was going to have fun with it!  So I had to ask him if he would let me take his picture with it, and it was no problem for him!  He made an incredible impression on me at that very moment.

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Maddie, Cassie, Amanda, Lauren, Jack and Andy
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2014 Halloween Party

 

FRIENDSHIPS

The prior summer, in 2014, Andy K., Lauren D. and Jack L. spent a lot of time together at their brother’s baseball games and had become good friends.  They also went to homecoming together as a group.

 

YOUNGLIFE CAMP

The next summer, 2015, Lauren D. and some friends decided to go to YoungLife Camp; Andy K. went to a different high school, but shortly before the trip, they found out they were all going to be at Camp together and were pretty excited about it.  They had a great experience at camp with lots of stories to tell.

 

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Andy pictured in the red shorts and Santa hat at Castaway              Summer 2015

 

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Claire, Andy and Lauren- YoungLife Camp

KEEPING IN TOUCH

They continued to stay in touch and would do things together in groups.  At this point in time, not everyone was driving so I drove Lauren D. and Claire S. over to Andy’s to hang out.  Of course I got the call asking “Can we stay later?”  And I was fine with that, then I got the call, “how soon can you get over here?  Claire needs to be home ASAP!” That’s just how things go when you have a teenager.  So I picked them up and they talked about how much fun they had that night.  It just got to be later than Claire’s parents expected so she needed to get home.

A COUPLE WEEKS LATER 

I still remember getting the call from my friend Krista, I was sitting on the couch with Nick watching TV, she wanted to let me know first so that I could tell Lauren before she found out on social media, since Lauren and Andy were good friends:  Andy was in a car accident on the way to his job and he didn’t make it.  I was in shock, horrified and didn’t know how to tell Lauren; it was painful. From this day forward EVERYTHING changed on December 2, 2015.

THE AFTERMATH

The wake and funeral were the most emotional experiences I ever had. There was an unbelievable number of people attending, thousands in my estimation.  And I heard so many stories, very similar to my Halloween story of Andy’s personality, from so many people of all ages.   Andy K. was the kid who welcomed the shy kid at school, smiled at people, took time patiently with young kids, made people smile, looked out for others, stood up for the “underdog”, and was strong for others, provided emotional support to others in times of need.  And he was only in high school, but yet affected so many positively.

Andy’s Dad told the story of Andy driving his Dad to the airport for a trip and as his Dad started to go through the gates, Andy said, “Hey Dad, Make It Count!” and smiled. Sadly, this was the last time they saw one another. The “Make It Count” conversation was an ongoing conversation Andy K. and his Dad had many times over the years, but in reverse, when his Dad coaching Andy would tell him in sports to “Make It Count!”  Andy’s Dad asked that everyone remember Andy and “Making It Count” going forward.

GRATITUDE

I will forever be grateful that Andy K. was a part of Lauren’s life, he made her life better on many occasions and I will always think of Andy and his family whenever I hear or use the words “Make It Count”

So often in our lives an ordinary day, an ordinary experience, will not seem like much at the time, but does in hindsight.  The impact one person can have on so many was evident to me during this experience, it truly changed my perspective in life and is something that I will always be very passionate about: Making It Count!

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