Marriage doesn’t exist in God’s Kingdom

After week number one at home, for the “stay home order” in most of our communities, some people may read this and feel relief (just kidding) and others may get anxiety.

As I was reading the bible for the first time (late summer/fall 2019), I read this statement Jesus made when talking about resurrection, a detail I never heard before or thought about but when I read it, I had more questions, the statement is:

“Marriage is for people here on earth. But in the age to come, those worthy of being raised from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage.”

Luke 20:34-35 (NLT)

The questions that came to mind after reading that were:

1. Why does marriage exist (from a biblical perspective)? What is the purpose of marriage?
2. Why is so much emphasis placed on marriage in the Bible?
3. If marriage is important enough to address in the Bible, then why is it not part of eternity?

I thought about writing on this subject months ago, but then changed my mind, staying away from it because of potential controversy. But when this scripture came up again (I am currently, daily, reading parts of the bible covering teachings from Jesus), and today I woke up at 2 am and this was the next one I would read. I decided maybe I should write about it? Maybe the timing is right?

Why does marriage exist (from a biblical perspective)? What is the purpose of marriage?

Biblical Answer: God created this union (what we call marriage) and the purpose was for man not be alone, to have a helper, to have children and to take care of the earth. (supporting bible verses below)

First of all, when researching this, my goal is avoiding what I’ve “learned” anywhere and only looking in the bible; not adding personal beliefs.

With that in mind, what is the definition of “marriage” from the Bible?

• Genesis 1:27 – 28 NLT: “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said ‘Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”
• Genesis 2:7 NLT: “Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the main’s nostrils, and the main became a living person.”
• Genesis 2:15 NLT: “The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it.”
• Genesis 2:18 NLT: “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”
• Genesis 2:24 NLT version, there isn’t a marriage ceremony, but it states: “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” And after this is the first reference in the bible to “wife” and “husband.” In Genesis 3:20 NLT, the names Adam and Eve were mentioned.

What is the definition of marriage from the dictionary? Dictionary.com: “Any of the diverse forms of interpersonal union established in various parts of the world to form a familial bond that is recognized legally, religiously, or socially, granting the participating partners mutual conjugal rights and responsibilities and including, for example, opposite-sex marriage, same-sex marriage, plural marriage and arranged marriage.” (Very much of an expanded definition, but not biblically based regarding what marriage is)

Why is so much emphasis placed on marriage in the Bible?

Biblical Answer: Because marriage affects a person’s relationship with God either in a positive way or a negative way. (supporting verses from the Bible below)

Until Jesus began teaching about God, what everyone knew about God was from the Old Testament (by historically documented events, God’s chosen people and prophets – who told of things that actually happened later). In the Old Testament, through God’s chosen people, we first learn about how marriage affects a person’s relationship with God in Genesis 3: 1-19 when sin entered and hurt the relationship between God and humans so God punished them both for their sin of disobedience to God.

Throughout much of the Old Testament in the Bible, there is a reference to a “wife” but there are also servants, concubines, etc. who also had children with some of God’s chosen people. One of the first examples: Abraham’s wife was Sarah, but he also had a child (Ishmael) with Hagar (a servant, as suggested by Sarah and with permission from Sarah because Sarah was unable to have children, but in very later years God promised Sarah a son then she had Isaac). This situation caused ongoing continual problems between Sarah and Hagar, but God ended up blessing both of their sons and the bible doesn’t record anything about a punishment for anyone of them, but it does comment on Abraham’s strong relationship with God. Abraham was a prophet of God (Genesis 20:7) This is an example where God doesn’t appear to punish, or at least it wasn’t recorded. Abraham married again after Sarah died and had more children. Isaac’s son Esau had two wives and his other son Jacob had two wives also. These multiple marriages also caused numerous problems, but not directly with God.

However during the same time, God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah because of wickedness, sin and immorality because the people were turning away from God. (So why are these treated differently?) The destruction of the cites of Sodom and Gomorrah occurred before the 10 Commandments were given to Moses (c. 1445 BC).

Regarding the commandments: the first four commandments are essentially about people making God the priority above all else. The next six commandments are essentially about how people should treat each other. In the New Testament, when Jesus was asked: “What is the most important commandment?” he stated this: first is to love God and second but equally important love each other.

King David, Jesus’ ancestor, whom God was pleased with most of the time, broke at least a couple of the commandments when he committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband killed in war. God did punish them when the first child they had died. But they had another child who later became King Solomon and God was initially pleased with him too. King Solomon was known as the wisest and built a temple for God. But even the wisest, King Solomon, was turned away from God by marrying pagan women and having multiple wives. There are numerous examples in the Old Testament where intermarriage between tribes turned good people from God destroying the relationship with God.

Also in the Book of Ezra, the Israelites made a covenant with God to divorce their pagan wives. And in the book of Nehemiah, he also made them promise they would not intermarry with pagan people.

So all of these examples show how joining with someone God doesn’t bless harms the relationship with God.

So the last question I had:

If marriage is important enough to address in the Bible, then why is it not part of eternity?

My personal conclusion based on information from the bible for this answer: It seems clear to me that God wants our attention, He wants to be the priority and focus of our lives, and rightfully so, because He created us. So who we marry matters to God because the spouse will either build our relationship with God or destroy our relationship with God. The relationship with God is what matters most to Him. Wedding vows often include “til death do us part” and this makes even more sense to me now, because there isn’t marriage in God’s Kingdom (life after death) based on what Jesus said.

Also, it seems that Jesus used the concept of marriage so people would better understand the relationship Jesus has with the church based on something familiar to them (marriage). Jesus often referenced weddings.

In the New Testament, after Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead, Paul who was name was formerly known as Saul (the one who persecuted Christians) was called by God. He converted to Christianity and wrote much about love and marriage in the Bible. Most of what is taught about Christian love and marriage comes from Paul.

As I am finishing this, the conclusion almost makes marriage sound unimportant, while it does support what Jesus said in the Bible, I think it’s also important to reflect on the fact that God created this union in the beginning and everything God creates is good. As humans, and not “a god,” our sins can mess up what God created for good.